Exeter uni reassurance please!

[seymour]

Hi there, my daughter just got into Exeter uni through clearing but while she liked it when she visited ahead of the application process, she didn’t plump for it as her first choice as she felt it was quite “posh” and wasn’t sure if she would fit in. We are from a big city and she went to a comprehensive. Not trying to cause offence to anyone from a privileged background btw, we very much take every person as we find them, as does my daughter but just wondered if anyone could share their kids’ experiences? Thanks so much.

It probably doesn’t unless Dc play competitive sport! @seymour Please be reassured most students at Exeter really will be great people.

I think she should be fine and will definitely find her people. I went to York years ago when like Exeter, it was a big dumping ground for oxbridge rejects (of which I was not one - I never applied). I was disappointed to find a bit of a crowd of people trying to live like something out of Brideshead Revisited, most of them having come from posh schools, but I definitely also found a very solid, down-to-earth group of students who became my friends.

Many people are able to aim for a high earning career if they get the right degree and work experience. It’s people who continually blame others that actually do not see the way forward and limit themselves.

What does this mean? There's a big if in there. It sounds as if you are blaming those from diverse backgrounds for having a harder time accessing opportunities.

I'm from a rough part of East London (pre gentrification) and went to a comp where you definitely needed your wits about you. I went to Durham, my sixth form college careers advisor told me I wouldn't like it, the people there would be very 'different' to those I was used to.
I ignored her and went anyway.
I absolutely loved it. It also gave me the confidence in life that regardless of anyone's background or expensive education I can hold my own. It also got rid of some of my preconceptions. I now have friends from all kinds of walks of life.

I went to Exeter from a state school and found my crowd! I loved it. Amazing campus and short walk into the city. I actually lived with a Sloane in my first year - we shared a room. Didn’t have much in common but we got on well enough to share a room and it gave me an excellent insight into how the other half live!

I worked on campus in The Ram. I can definitely recommend it - I met lots of friends there, picked up extra shifts if I wanted some more money and working felt like having a social life and it was easy to work around your shifts. However sports science may still be over at Luke’s which is lovely but the campus is a bit smaller.

Thanks @TizerorFizz she is sporty but not teams sport as such.

Thanks @JesusWeptLady that really made me laugh - Brideshead Revisited! Glad you found your tribe.

This is brilliant and good on you @UndercoverCop Thanks for replying.

Thanks @Ionacat yes, it is still at St Luke’s. Like many posters on here, you have definitely reassured me and glad you enjoyed your time there. Thanks for replying!

And she will definitely need a part-time job so good tip!

25% of school pupils in Edinburgh are privately educated.

That was just to add into the whole more general debate.

OP - I have heard lots of positive things about Exeter. Everyone I know who has gone is private schooled but all lovely people and not loudly rah rah at all.

More than half the students will be state educated. That aside, those that have been to private schools are just people, not aliens. Often private school kids are often those who have doctor parents or whatever - perfectly normal. I know someone going to exeter and he is just that - kid of 2 doctors, normal kid. Your upper class kind of yacht owner type will be very scarce indeed - and even if she did come across one, well, I'm sure they are also just people - and she may get a free holiday on a yacht if she becomes besties with someone like that!

A person is more likely to get ribbed for being posh, than excluded for having been to a state school. Snobbery is considered unacceptable - reverse snobbery seems to still be OK.

You have nothing to worry about.

A person is more likely to get ribbed for being posh, than excluded for having been to a state school. Snobbery is considered unacceptable - reverse snobbery seems to still be OK.

Yes, imagine if someone said ‘the people I met there were complete oiks but when I got to know them they were ok’

My DD is at Exeter and is very happy there. As others have mentioned lovely green campus, short walk into town, surprisingly decent nightlife and good sports facilities and societies.

My DD did go to a private school, however, she is the only one who did out of her housemates, house of 6. I understand my DD's flatmates are on a tighter budget than she is but they are students and they all love a cheap night out or have 'pre's' in the house before they go out to keep costs down.

You do get students who have been to 'posher' boarding/private schools at Exeter but a higher percentage gravitate towards catered accommodation such as Holland Hall. My DD has a mixture of friends from the south of England, the Midlands and small northern towns. Also Exeter uni does have a healthy percentage of international students from East Asia.

I went to imperial college and hated it for this exact reason. I fell into a tribe that was from Eton, Winchester college, various girls boarding schools. These people literally knew the princes 😂 and they used to mock my accent and laugh because I wasn't privately educated. Their parents were high flying doctors and bankers.

I could laugh it off for a while but the issue for me came when they all started pairing off with each other. Posh people tend to only date posh people so I was very isolated and alone. I was literally invisible. I couldn't go travelling in holidays. I didn't ski - I worked in a supermarket to earn money in holidays. I left after a year and a half. It's honestly a different world.

I went to a different uni to finish my degree. Waaaay lower in league table and campus. Much nicer.

If I was older I would have held it together and finished imperial but at 18 it was overwhelming.

Given that Imperial is 60% state school students why not pick a different bunch of mates?

@Mirabai sadly I got put in halls with mostly privately educated people. Just my luck. I never found my tribe. I made friends with course mates that were more like me but I found they were closest to their house mates. My house mates were ALL privately educated and very well connected/rich.

My sil studied sports science at Exeter uni.

She absolutely loved it.

I think Exeter is a lovely city, just the right size and close to loads of beautiful beaches as well.

Totally disagree with this. If one is brought up in a bubble one cannot and will not properly understand others from different backgrounds. No amount of diversity and inclusion workshops replace what you’d learn from living and studying with people from different backgrounds.

Communication at work in most roles is key. So much can be lost in translation (as seen spectacularly on this thread) and relationships can sour and become toxic if you don’t understand the other person.

Uni is an excellent opportunity - some say once in a lifetime - to live and work with others from a wide section of the country, other countries, other backgrounds. The more variety, the more exposure, the better.

IMO.

Uni is an excellent opportunity - some say once in a lifetime - to live and work with others from a wide section of the country, other countries, other backgrounds. The more variety, the more exposure, the better.

I agree, and it's important that DC find somewhere that offers what they're looking for, where they will feel comfortable.

I loved Exeter when DS and I went to look around but he felt it was a bit "safe", and having visited a schoolfriend there in Y1, said the nightlife was "shit" 😂
He does love clubbing though, so a bigger city was a better fit for him.

DD crossed Bristol off her list after the open day because of a lack of diversity in the other prospective students. She loved Birmingham though. Horses for courses.

Thanks @redfacebigdisgrace good to know. Interesting fact about Edinburgh too!

Indeed. all good points. Thanks @jlpth

Thanks @Dobbyismyabsolutefav really pleased she’s enjoying it. Sounds great. I was thinking about the money issue but as you say, all students love a cheap night out!

I’m so sorry to hear that @melon234 what a horrible experience. I’m glad you changed unis and we’re happier for it. Sounds like they were at the extreme end of the scale, hope karma got them in the end!