What stuff do we need?

[MorePressureMoreRelease]

So DC have got their first choices (WOOP WOOP) and off in a few weeks.

I'd not thought much beyond offer day but now that is over need to make sure they've got the equipment and info they need.

Facts:
Staying in self catering accommodation with a shared kitchen.
Not massively experienced at cooking. They can do it but generally don't.

Both going to big cities so lots of access to food shops.

What do they need?
Cooking book? (Any recommendations?)
Pots, pans and plates?
We're not rolling in cash and have x2 to send to and finance at uni so any top thrifty tips welcome.

Thanks 😊

I’d say skip ikea. You can get everything he needs at one of those massive sainsburys and it is much less stressful!

We've got one of them though I think I might send messages out to grandparents who are oozing kitchen stuff that they don't use.

Thanks again for all the tips.

Yes thanks, I'm not the one panicking about my child going to uni without a wooden spoon.

But you are the one on here telling other parents what they should have done over the years, implying they’ve done things wrong and generally being an arse. You’ve done it on other threads too. What a misery you are.

When someone starts a post with ‘I’m not meaning to be arsey but.....,’
like you did, it means everything they say after is going to be arsey and they know it.

OP sounds like a loving mum, trying to get her and her children prepared for what is a big step. Nothing wrong with that, in fact there’s a lot right with it.

Buying what your child needs before they go to university is what loving parents do (assuming they can afford it). They are going to have to live on a budget and as a parent you can make that a lot easier by buying the essentials for them before they get there. Just like in the old days people bought wedding gifts so newly weds had the essentials for setting up their new home, or people buy essentials for new babies as gifts for the parents.

The thing my DD most wanted was a plug in heated blanket

Very useful thread, thanks MorePressureMoreRelease.

But you are the one on here telling other parents what they should have done over the years, implying they’ve done things wrong and generally being an arse. You’ve done it on other threads too. What a misery you are

Think you're mixing me up with someone else, you arse 😀

All I said was the young adults should be capable of working out what they need and buying the stuff. Don't know why that's touched a nerve with you ....

My DD has had a very busy summer working, going away, partying but she'll still manage to get herself organised because she's independent and resourceful. Hope your DC will be OK.

Think you're mixing me up with someone else, you arse

No I’m not getting mixed up. You've done exactly what I said.

Thanks for your concern about my children. 😅 You seem to be trying to justify your parenting style by telling me about your daughters summer. 😬 You don’t need to do that but it comes across as protesting too much. My son has done all of those things, he’s a busy young person just like yours and most others. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The difference is, he also has parents that support him and are willing to help him get kitted out for uni. Some kids, like yours it seems, do not have that, as their parents have an attitude that they must do everything by themselves as some sort of weird lesson. You don’t need to make life harder than it has to be for children in order to make them ‘resourceful and independent’. That’s a strange attitude, one my parents had that long term hasn’t been successful.

Just because we’re capable of things without help, doesn’t mean we always have to do them without help. I’m capable of moving house alone, but family and friends still want to help and I appreciate that.

Anyway, I’m going to stop replying. This is a positive thread, other than you. OP doesn’t need her thread detailed any more by your negativity or me responding to it. Sorry OP. 😬

*hasn’t been successful in that all it taught me was that I could never trust them or rely on them. They were distant and not involved. I don’t even see them now.

No I’m not getting mixed up. You've done exactly what I said

Nope.

Cant be bothered reading your long post as I'm off to the beach but honestly ... chill. It's a lovely summer day - enjoy.

Weird parenting stealth boast aside from @BlissBlakeney this has been super helpful. Thank you.

When I went to uni was in catered halls and all bedding etc was provided for the micro bed in my room. I seem to remember bringing one medium sized bag and a radio and that was it. I left at the end of the year with significantly more stuff.

My DS has travelled around the world independently in his gap year and is now back working 14 hr shifts to earn as much money as possible before uni. Of course I’m going to sift through my stuff to pull out what he needs for uni and, yes, hurl some brand new wooden spoons and a grater in my Sainsbury’s trolley, because I am a kind and helpful parent (and he isn’t getting my beautifully seasoned wooden spoons!). If the situation was reversed he would do the same for me because he is a kind and helpful young man. No doubt because of my A+ gold star parenting...

This is what I can't figure out. I rocked up to uni, from a foreign country, with a small rucksack, and I wasn't even in halls! I look back now and wonder how I survived 🤣

And yes, I did it all alone, with zero help from parents and, frankly, it was miserable. So I too will be mollycoddling my first born and taking him shopping and helping him pack (and making his bed when we get there, too much?) Because I love him, and am proud of him and understand that 18 and going to uni is a massive journey in maturing quickly and I wish someone had helped me. They've got the next 4 years to be independent.

And the smuggest parent of the year award goes to ^^

I'm reluctant to dip my toe back into this thread but I'll just point out that all I said was young adults should be capable of doing the research themselves. Which they should. I've not suggested they be parachuted into the middle of nowhere without a compass.

No personal attacks from me yet some of you have been made vituperative attacks on my parenting of my lovely daughter. @ClimbingThroughTheWindow has been particularly vile so I'll leave you to it and stick to the saner threads on this board.

My DD has had a very busy summer working, going away, partying but she'll still manage to get herself organised because she's independent and resourceful. Hope your DC will be OK.

@BlissBlakeney you're very lucky your DD is independent and resourceful. I wish my DS was but he has chronic anxiety and depression and has already deferred uni once due to his mental health. I wish my DS had spent his last few months working, travelling and partying but he's barely left the house and has no friends. He'll need all the help he can get to cope with uni next month. Thank you to all that have posted with useful suggestions - I've found this thread very helpful and will be helping DS get the stuff he needs together because, frankly, he won't be able to do it on his own.

No need for a cookery book as they all look online.

Teach them two or three basic dishes if they can’t already cook before they go and speak about money, budgeting, realistic expectations and lifestyle choices. Its a bit late now but if not already working can they earn some cash before they go or whilst at Uni to contribute?

Check what is included and what is allowed in both accommodations as some lists suggest unnecessary items i.e. a bin and a light which is already provided in halls. Or things that aren’t allowed and their really isn’t room for such as a microwave, an airfryer or rice cooker for students rooms?

If you have two going I would buy a basic kit of 4 mugs, 4 plates, 4 sets of cutlery etc and split these between two. Buy each a saucepan and either a frying pan or a wok, oven tray, basic chopping board, a couple of knives, wooden spoon, spatula, tin opener and corkscrew etc. Buy each one new set of bedding and take a tatty one each from home (for emergencies).

Get them supplies if ill from the inevitable Freshers Flu, cold, covid (plenty of tissues, vaseline, Lemsip, paracetamols, lockets if shops far away from halls). etc etc.

A Breville sandwich toaster is very useful. My DS made most of his friends by sharing his.

My dd took pans with her but it was an induction hob and they weren't suitable.

The iron never came out of the box.

Big tub of sweets to share.

Amazon Prime membership.

@Lantyslee I’m sorry to hear that your son has been struggling with mental health issues and really hope he can cope. You sound like a loving and supportive mum and that will give him the best chance of coping and doing well. Hopefully he’ll make some good friends and that will help.

Have you looked into the mental health support services on campus to help him? I’ve heard good things about what they offer at a couple of universities so hopefully the one your son is going to will provide him with support if necessary. Is he going far from home?

💐

Agree about Lemsips etc as with mine it was their first time being ill away from home with nobody to look after them. Bless!

Thanks @ClimbingThroughTheWindow he'll be close enough to visit for the day or even the evening if needed and an easy train ride if he wants to come home. I haven't checked out student support services but he's having therapy via zoom which he might continue with. I'm really hoping he gets into the course and makes a few friends .

We're going shopping this evening to start getting some of the stuff listed here 🙂

Best advice I can give is go room to room now noting what they use now, including bathroom for things like nail clippers, tweezers, razor, toiletries, medicines, laundry bag etc. That includes the kitchen, what do you use the most? Chopping board (also acts as a clean surface is the kitchen is minging) and no garlic press, squeezy tube of garlic all the way, no cleaning required. Dc has one pan with a proper draining lid, one frying pan, baking tray one sharp knife, cutlery etc. Kitchen roll, cling film, tinfoil, tupperware and Dc has a Sistema microwaveable bowl for soup, tinned chilli/curry etc. Bedroom, desk area, what bag will they be using day to day, what bags will they bring food home in?

We are not a house of spare anything and Dc would be coming home to visit mid semester so had to get new duvet (one you can wash, we have feather at home) same pillow as they have now, bedding, towels. Seeing how their other flat mates lived Dc would never have wanted to share any kitchen items with them. Dirty mingers.

Also a tape measure so if they want to buy something they can make sure it fits. The other advice is to look at the size of your car to see realistically what you can fit in it for the journey. If they buy anything extra somehow that has to fit in too when you move them out. There is always a gap between the end of first and second year accommodation. There are videos on Youtube of people showing their move in day to UK universities. Cars fully laden down.

The best thing was when they are cooking at home now get them to write down what they are using so when they go to uni they don't suddenly realise they don't have X. Dc uses microwave rice pouches, we would never use that at home but quick and no washing up. We had an excel sheet with everything on that we could tick off as we packed. Yes, we, because as independent as they can be they loved having us to help them make the lists, go shopping with them and reminisce about us going off to uni. I have a great photo of all my stuff by the front door ready to load into the car. It is 30 years since both Dh and I went off to uni.

@Lantyslee Dc accessed student support in their first week. They hated Freshers' week, wanted to get into a routine of lectures etc and that wasn't really possible due to some lingering covid restrictions. They really thrive on routine and were worried about not being able to stick to it despite not needing any chivying on from us at home. Lots of students feel overwhelmed and have imposter syndrome. The main thing is to reach out, keep talking too.

Thanks @PaperBlue there's lots of useful information in your post - I would never have thought of a tape measure!

@Lantyslee we are ridiculously organised as a family and Dc lives an easy car journey away meaning they could measure stuff and we could come up with potential solutions. Dh and I watched way too may MacGyver episodes when we were children. MacGyver is a verb in this house, you MacGyver it.

Bin bags and pedal bin liners just came to me. Line the waste bin in their room or take a bin up with you, if they are sick into a bin then it doesn't need cleaning out of sick, knot the bag to get rid of it. Wash out bin with disinfectant. Glass cleaner, bathroom cleaner, multi-surface cleaner. Batteries too, Dc's mouse needed AA batteries.

All our family recipes are on the cloud so Dc can access those, we also did an excel sheet again on the cloud with food ideas list under protein headings, like chicken, fish, eggs, cheese, sandwich filling ideas, snack stuff too. But then we meal plan so this is normal for us.

A local company also do meals that they deliver, you put your order in the day before and they deliver the meal the next day from a set menu. They got a week free from the Freshers's fair and Dc said it was nice to try new things via that. Google round their uni and see if anyone does this.

Condiments, herbs and spices, learn to zhuzh up meals, add spice and heat to any ready made stuff like pasta sauce.