What stuff do we need?

[MorePressureMoreRelease]

So DC have got their first choices (WOOP WOOP) and off in a few weeks.

I'd not thought much beyond offer day but now that is over need to make sure they've got the equipment and info they need.

Facts:
Staying in self catering accommodation with a shared kitchen.
Not massively experienced at cooking. They can do it but generally don't.

Both going to big cities so lots of access to food shops.

What do they need?
Cooking book? (Any recommendations?)
Pots, pans and plates?
We're not rolling in cash and have x2 to send to and finance at uni so any top thrifty tips welcome.

Thanks 😊

Clothes airer, one of those big ikea bags to take to the laundry and bring back.

‘Freshers Flu’ affects most students 1-2 weeks into term after mass socialising/ late nights. I suggest packing vitamin c & zinc/multivitamins, cold & flu pills, throat lozenges and ibuprofen. All are much cheaper bought beforehand in generic packaging than on campus once ill. They might even thank you for being prepared…..

I think you need to equip them with basics (I can add a list of what I think is basic if that would help)

Then go back up to see then 3-4 weeks in to term and take them shopping again. Because by that point they'll have a much better idea of what they actually need.

Or if you can't get back up, send a cheque or transfer money. But get up there if you can, because then you can also check their mood and supply treats

I'll try to find out a bit more about finding who they are sharing with and take it from there

I don't want to sound arsey (honest!) but shouldn't your DC be doing this. And working out what they need.

Less is more. DD took lots of stuff that didn't eventually get used, and was more than capable of hunting in charity shops or Wilko's (if it survives) for the things she needed!

Definitely no cook book. I suggested the same to DS the other day who has mysteriously started cooking all of a sudden this week after avoiding it for 18 years, he gave me a withering look and said "I don't need a book, I have tik tok'

Yes they probably should but 18 years of looking after is hard to break overnight. I will feel better if I feel they they have what they need. After that it is down to them.

Exactly! How people expect kids with minimal housekeeping and cooking experience to suddenly be able to do it just because they hit that magic number 18! Why not give them a few tips rather than throw them in the deep end.
As mentioned upthread give him a few lessons on simple meals, how much laundry detergent to use, how often to wash bedding , how to properly clean a bathroom, how you need separate cleaning stuff for bathroom and bedrooms, that a fridge needs cleaning out occasionally, how to budget for a supermarket shop, how to budget full stop! Even if they do some of this stuff already good to talk it through.
You think surely they've seen you (or Dad) do this kind of stuff for years but it doesn't always sink in. A few life lessons will help start him off.

All of the above should have been gradually introduced over the past few years.

As for the "what things do they need?" - let them do the research!

Or do them an online shop for delivery

Couple of tea towels
Cheap tupperware or food bags for leftovers
Wooden spoons

You might find this UCAS page useful OP.

https://www.ucas.com/undergraduate/student-life/starting-university-or-college/list-absolutely-everything-you-need-take-university-or-college

@EdithWeston yes please

I fully accept that this is largely for my peace of mind not theirs. They are adults and perfectly capable of working it all out eventually. However I am their mum and I can't stop wanting to look after them in some way or another.

Having never sent off a DC to uni, let alone two I'm really appreciative of all the ideas.

Thank you

I don't want to sound arsey (honest!) but shouldn't your DC be doing this. And working out what they need.

Theres no ‘should’ here. It’s nice to help your kids out when they’re moving away from home for uni, it’s a big step and it’s not a competition as to who can help their kids the least. As adults, when we move house, family and friends help. But on mumsnet, there’s a weird attitude from some that when your just adult child is moving away, having never lived independently before, they must do it all with little to no help. 🙄

OP, our son is also moving into halls. We’ll be helping him because he’s our son and we want it to go smoothly. It’s a stressful time for them, even when they’re excited to do it. Our son is also working loads of hours at the moment so I have more free time than him at the moment. I hope the UCAS link is useful.

Thank you. And yes the link is great - if scarily comprehensive!

@MorePressureMoreRelease I am with you - it's perfectly normal to worry about sending them away to uni and how they will cope etc. If it helps to reassure you, DS hadn't really cooked before; I had taught him how to use the washing machine and clean etc, but wasn't really sure how much had gone in, due to him being more of a 'mad professor' type - but he's happily cooked for himself on a one ringed hob in college for the whole year (his timetable means he's often too late for meals in college).

In the holidays, he now often cooks, does all of his laundry and is WAY more independent than when he left for uni last year.

I'm more worried about sending DD off this year because she's FAR happier to let me do everything for her (and as I have 4, it's just quicker for me to get on and do stuff - but I appreciate I have made a rod for my own back).

I think that it is perfectly normal to worry about them and want to make sure they are as prepared as you can make them - but they do seem to be more capable than we perhaps give them credit for 😉

Thanks for the link @ClimbingThroughTheWindow - really helpful.

But on mumsnet, there’s a weird attitude from some that when your just adult child is moving away, having never lived independently before, they must do it all with little to no help

Nonsense! I'm saying they should be perfectly capable of researching what they need and purchasing it themselves. If they get to uni and realise they need an extension lead or an extra pan they can buy one or order online.

OP said she was panicking...

Nonsense! I'm saying they should be perfectly capable of researching what they need and purchasing it themselves. If they get to uni and realise they need an extension lead or an extra pan they can buy one or order online.

OP said she was panicking...

🤣 Are you ok?

We’re all perfectly capable of lots of things, doesn’t mean a bit of input from loved ones isn’t nice. If I can make sure my son doesn’t have to go out extension lead or pan shopping in his first week away from home, by helping him with a list of stuff, I will.

👏👏👏

@MorePressureMoreRelease

Basics (assuming self catering)

Things to eat off/with: big plate, small plate, pasta bowl, 2 mugs, glasses, cutlery

Food prep: big pan, small pan, frying pan, sharp kitchen knife, kitchen scissors, chopping boards, grater, pyrex jug, fish slice (or spatula or slotted spoon) wooden spoon, baking tray or oven dish, oven gloves, tea towel (tea pot or cafetiere if they really need a brew), corkscrew/bottle opener

Storage: tupperware type boxes of various sizes. Roll of kitchen foil

Useful initial supplies: washing up liquid, sponge/scourers, kitchen roll, basic cleaning spray (x2 if en suite, plus loo cleaner and bog roll). Washing powder or laundry tabs, fabric conditioner and stain remover

Basic food parcel (non-perishables, plus 24 hours worth, plus favourite snacks)

Bedroom: (check what's supplied) mattress/pillow protectors, spare sheets/duvet covers, drawing pins, stationery pack (scissors, sellotape, pens/paper/other course necessities and a book of stamps)

Plus their choice of clothes, other personal effects and homely touches

Supply of any meds

And tech - with all the chargers, and a multiplug extension lead

Carrying it all: small backpack for daily use, weekend bag (for short trips away) and at least one of those big woven plastic zip-up bags (multiple uses, eg for carting laundry around, as laundry room might be a short walk away)

That's what occurs to me right now - no doubt as soon as I press "post" something else will occur. But as with actual packing, that really doesn't matter, because you can always buy later or post things on to them (do check you know the correct postal address and that your DC understands the letter and parcel handling systems)

The UCAS list is really useful as a starting point. You definitely don't need everything.

My DC essentials include

-mattress topper for comfy bed (although you need to know what size bed and frustratingly this varies from year or year as they move around!)

• washing bag for first clothes
• over door clothes dryer

-cutlery and crockery that is easily to differentiate from everyone else's. You don't need a whole set, my DC take 2 of everything but some kids have only one.

• one pot, fry pan, baking tray, LOTS of tea towels, (I think they never get washed!) sharp knife, wooden spoon, egg flipper, tongs, colander, paper towel, j cloths
• powerboard / extension cable
• flip flops or sliders if sharing bathrooms and something to throw over pjs in middle of night
• meds for flu/headaches etc plus condoms and sanitary products for girls
• all study needs - notebooks, pens, highlighters, laptop, decent headphones . Backpack for going to classes.
• speaker to play music in kitchen
• oil, sauces and some spices for cooking
• homebaking and case of cider or beer to share with everyone on the first day

And their comfy pillows, throws etc from home to make it feel like their space

If you live near a Wilko that is great for cheap household stuff. Every year, loads of students leave their pot and pans behind because of transport or storage issues. Don’t buy good stuff.

Wilko is going bust (sob) so these might be the last students to get their stuff from there. It’s good for bedding, pots, pans, aireretc etc.

Dont forget a big laundry bag.

Also a big hold-all is better than hard case as can be squashed flat and shoved under bed or top of wardrobe.

Get some pins for a pin Baird and lots of pics of friends at home and maybe fairy lights etc (battery ones)

Set a budget upfront for everything. Don’t leave it open-ended.

Are you ok

Yes thanks, I'm not the one panicking about my child going to uni without a wooden spoon.

If they've never done a supermarket shop before, get them to make a list of basics and go off to your local Tesco or wherever for a trial run.

I live in a student town and in the first few weeks of term the supermarkets are full of groups of students standing around looking lost, as if they've never shopped or been in a supermarket before.

Holy shit you guys are organised! We're still getting over the shock of DS getting into his first choice Uni, somewhat unexpectedly. It's only 2/2.5 hours ish away. He's in SC halls. Does this mean we can go quite minimal initially as we'll prob pop down and see him after a few weeks? I'm trying to get him enthuse din an IKEA trip here but he's really not having it right now.