DS not wanting to return to uni

[healthadvice123]

Ds just announced not going back to uni ( just completed year one) he said he didn’t enjoy the course and now he has decided things he wants to do he doesn’t need a degree and the debt that goes with it. He has a been real hard work last month or two but since saying this it does seem like a weight lifted of his shoulders. Issue is he has signed and paid large deposit and first months rent on large houseshare and we are guarantors, he has a part time job and says he will get a full time one to cover the rent which is £470 ish a month and will have to still pay share of bills as not the others fault. I have read that sometimes if you can find someone to take the room thats allowed , although contract is not clear.
tried speaking to him to take a few more weeks to decide but he is adamant its really not for him, said he felt this way most of the time , although to us it looked like he was enjoying it and up until now all talk was of going back.
he even applied for student loan but something seems to if changed and he made decision he is def not going back.
any advice would be greatly appreciated,we want him to be happy but also not to regret this later on.

TizerorFizz Most people who go to university never earn enough for long enough to pay off their student loan

I think degrees only get you a better job if you want to go into certain professions.

I think some trades easily out earn the average person with a degree and some degrees are really immaterial when it comes to some industries.

Maybe op’s dd aspires to have a well paid job and that is why he left

My ds was in the same position. He joined his uni accommodation Facebook page and found someone who needed a room for the next term and made arrangements for them to take over his part of the tenancy. It may have cost a bit in admin charges but not too bad.
It was definitely best for him. He spent the next two years working, gained distinction in an apprenticeship, then went back to a different uni for a completely different degree and is about to start his Masters. There's more than one route to success!

@Yalta Of course most dc don’t pay off the loan! That’s why it’s good value. You do get better access to jobs though. More choice. You can of course be a plumber or electrician. Or bricklayer. Loads of construction jobs don’t need a degree. As an employee there are not great riches. Self employed is different.

Also the IFS research still shows most people earn more in their working lives by having a degree. Loads of jobs don’t really require one but getting ahead and promotion to a senior level is very different and that might. Lots of stories of getting a degree later here. If a degree was useless snd Dc were already earning well, why bother? It’s pretty clear from research that well paid jobs are now mostly held by degree holders. 40 years ago not necessarily. If well paid jobs were so readily available to non degree holders, why would anyone bother to go to university? I think the highest paid jobs are held by degree holders, hence thousands and thousands of Dc wanting a degree.

University and course are key though. Some degrees don’t lead to much so being savvy matters very much.

In my opinion (as someone who works in university student support), you’ve already said it’s like a weight has been lifted off him, he doesn’t like the course and is making alternative plans, you need to support him with this.

If he withdraws now, he can come back and study later when he knows what he wants to do.

So many students don’t know what they want to do at this age and end up depressed and struggling to the point of feeling suicidal because they feel obliged to stay on a course which isn’t right for them. In doing so they also use all the student funding they’re entitled to, meaning that any further undergraduate study needs to be self funded.

Apologies for any cross posting, I started this message about an hour ago and kept getting distracted

Thank you to so many of you for your helpful advice, he has advised landlord and speaking to them tomorrow, will also see about the cert for year 1. If possible. Really learnt a lot and its surprising what our young people are signing up for. Tbh the degree he was doing would of only led down a couple of paths anyway and to those jobs who overlook experience for a degree of any kind. The reality is offof mumsnet the vast majority earn an averageor just over average wage even with a degree , nurses, teachers etc not the best paid. He is happy with the decision and taking responsibility for any costs it may cause and thats the main thing. The year away he said he doesn’t regret and liked learning to live on his own etc but just doesn’t want to do 2 years on a course he isn’t enjoying.

Glad for the update OP it sounds like things are going forward.

Uni isn't the only option and many people don't go or have a false start or take time out.

I changed uni for my third year so I was able to use the first two years credit at my new uni and claim a Dip HE from the old one.

If he does take a Cert HE he will probably be invited to a graduation ceremony so you can (and let's face it this is for the parents) still have a photo op.

@healthadvice123 Teachers can progress to senior jobs within schools and earn way more than an average wage. Ditto nurses. Average means 50 % of workers earn less so young grads almost certainly are in this group. The important thing is to choose a degree that ensures you get above average quickly and do not get competition from non degree holders. He might find other qualifications appeal later on.

TizerorFizz
Looking around you get the impression that getting a degree will get you a higher salary.
But then you look at the percentage of graduates who earn enough for long enough to repay their loan and that paints a different picture.

I think it is reasonable to question how the salary figures are arrived at because something isn’t adding up.

Are they taking averages where a much smaller group of people earn a massive amount but the majority don’t earn a great deal but the average looks impressive because it is boosted by those who took certain degrees that led down the path of law/medicine etc) but in reality most people won’t ever get the chance to earn a huge amount because they didn’t become doctors or solicitors etc

Or even just how the figures work out if we take out those types of degrees

That might make the figures more realistic between how much graduates really earn and repaying (or not repaying) the student loan

If he's at Uni he's an adult and entitled to make his own decisions. Fine for the OP to be available to talk it through with him but it really isn't their place to try to influence/force him.

This happened with one of my DC's housemates dropping out and never moving in to the property. They didn't have to pay council tax. The letting agent notified the council of all the tenants' details and they were sent a council tax bill. The students sent in their exemption forms and the contact details for the housemate who didn't move in. They wrote to him and he provided evidence that he lived and worked elsewhere permanently. He did not have to pay any council tax. I believe councils set their own rules on some things eg second homes, empty homes, council tax reductions for people on benefits etc

Oh for goodness sake good on him for saying what he actually wants to do and not going along with he must go to uni etc. If you can find someone to take his room like my parents did when my sister did the exact same then all good. If not then he will have to pay his share tho. My sister decided uni wasn't for her got a job and has now worked her way up to being a manager and loves it and none of the horrendous debt from it

@Yalta No. The ifs looks at various degrees. Obviously medicine gives the best return. Economics is up there. However university attended does make a difference. The loan is not designed to be paid off. It’s a grad tax and a vehicle for uni funding. The ifs looked at earnings of non grads and grads. The grads still mostly do better overall. If they didn’t, why do Dc want degrees? Why bother?

You also gloss over that the loan ends up being a graduate tax. As a result part time workers (Eg SAHM) pay very little and probably nothing. Their fte salary is probably decent though. All the evidence unearthed by the IFS shows degrees are worth it except for arts ones. Eg performance, art, etc.

The tax payer should be concerned that we have millions of people who get nowhere near paying off the loan but the majority who take the loans are not going to care. It’s also interesting that some of the best rewarded complain the most - doctors. They get a better salary return than any other group. They are all employed in their chosen career for a start. Economics looks good but some grads from lower tariff unis don’t earn so well. Where you work makes a difference too.

A pain about the rent but so much better for him not to continue another year if he knows he won't finish.
At this stage he'll still be eligible for another 3 years of funding so he can take some time off work, figure out what he wants to do with his life and go back and still get a degree. I changed after first year and I definitely wish I had taken a bit of a break before starting my new course because I definitely would have studied something different if I had more work experience.

Latest update , hopefully have someone taking on the room and Ds has got himself an apprenticeship starting monday, paid above apprenticeship wage and seems really happy.
lost money on house etc but a life lesson for him, as was the year at uni and he matured in many other ways ,so it wasn’t a year wasted, but another life experience. Def easier being a parent when they were younger though

Fabulous update OP it sounds like things are falling in to place for him.

This is all good news

Hopefully you'll both look back on this as a time he was supported to make a positive life choice.

My dd finished her degeee but stayed on to work . She shared with medics who were still students.
As the only non student she was solely responsible for counxil tax on a 5 bedroomhouse, but she did qualify for the single person discount of 25%. She was paying nearly £200 a month.

Apologies missed this.
Fwiw my DS dropped after 2 years. At 28 be now has a great job , doing an apprenticeship degree with excellent pay and has just bought his own flat.

Tell him to take a leave of absence rather than just quit then he can rejoin if he wishes next year.

That's a great update OP. Fair play to your son for finding an apprenticeship.

That is great news OP

Your tone is really quite rude on this thread. There is no need for it.

Glad to hear your update. And he has been working in his first year and earning money which is more ‘responsible’ than many other students. Sounds like he has made the right decision for him now, and he is lucky to have your support.

Just see there is probably someone for the room but if not I would pay the rent yourself through being a guarantor then DS pay you back privately as then you wouldn't have to pay the council tax as you are just paying the debt

This is obviously if DS is not living at the property. As PP upthread my DS carried on sharing with med students while working and had to pay council tax -25%.