DS not wanting to return to uni

[healthadvice123]

Ds just announced not going back to uni ( just completed year one) he said he didn’t enjoy the course and now he has decided things he wants to do he doesn’t need a degree and the debt that goes with it. He has a been real hard work last month or two but since saying this it does seem like a weight lifted of his shoulders. Issue is he has signed and paid large deposit and first months rent on large houseshare and we are guarantors, he has a part time job and says he will get a full time one to cover the rent which is £470 ish a month and will have to still pay share of bills as not the others fault. I have read that sometimes if you can find someone to take the room thats allowed , although contract is not clear.
tried speaking to him to take a few more weeks to decide but he is adamant its really not for him, said he felt this way most of the time , although to us it looked like he was enjoying it and up until now all talk was of going back.
he even applied for student loan but something seems to if changed and he made decision he is def not going back.
any advice would be greatly appreciated,we want him to be happy but also not to regret this later on.

@TizerorFizz yes he knows how the loan works but its still has to be paid back and he spent all money he saved on the first year as the rent alone was over £7000. He had to work for a year in order to be able to afford to go in the first place. He has a part time job currently but planning on getting a full time onr if current job can’t give him full time hrs. So he can cover the room, the loans he has had already he knows he will still have ti pay but says £14000 instead of £42000 , I am more annoyed he left it until now and didn’t say something when he first cane home and we hadn’t paid the whole deposit, although he signed fir house sometime ago as they had to sort that jan time due to demand etc.
the council tax he was not aware of and neither was i as if the room is empty he assumed he wouldn’t pay anything other than rent and poss share of bills still. He is just 20 so yes has a lot to learn still as many do at that age.
thing is if we can’t shift and liable to ctax prob be better off part time as wouldn’t have to pay full amount, many people get help towards council tax.!

My DS didn't like his student accommodation but had signed up for 51 weeks. The only way he could move to another flat was to find someone to take over his contract.
We advertised it through
www.spareroom.co.uk
We found someone immediately.
Just make sure the landlord is ok with another person taking over the contract. And then you can arrange viewings.
My DS even got his deposit back.

@Popsispoppet that is what we are hoping and speaking to letting agent tomorrow to check if he can do this. He will loose some money aa tenancy technically started but if can find someone to take over and not have to pay all year that will be something. Better now than a month or two in I guess.

This was my ds 2 years ago. Exactly the same situation- he was desperately unhappy and decided not to return but had already signed the lease contract on a house share.
He got a full time job and had to pay his share until the January when someone else took over his room. He sis I had to pay me some rent so it didn’t leave him with much at the end of the month but he paid it without moaning as he knew it was his responsibility.
It was the right thing for him to do at the time as he was in a state mentally but it now means he doesn’t have tge degree of course and his options for work are more limited. But he’s happy and that’s what counts.

This toxic positivity and pressure is why people stay doing things that make them miserable and can leave them with mental illness.

He should speak to his flatmates first. They may well be able to find someone via their networks, and also because they are almost certainly "joint and severally liable" and will need to agree to any changes in the contract. They also have to live with the person so need to be sure they have compatible lifestyles. As a landlord I only accept changes where the whole house is happy.

The suggestion that he simply sublet is also a bit off. As a landlord, if you are aware of someone living in the house who is not on the tenancy it leaves you in a grey area as it might be construed as you having accepted that person as a tenant with various tenancy rights. I tend to ignore the inevitable girlfriends and boyfriends, and also the Australian sister who stayed whilst looking for a job here, but would be unhappy with a random person who appeared to be a permanent presence.

If he definitely doesn't want to return, he needs to be respected as an adult, it's his choice to make.

He can transfer his room to someone else with the landlord's permission.
He may not be liable for council tax if not living there - get him to phone the council to check this.
He can defer instead of withdraw if he wants a year to reflect.

Uni isn't for everyone. It is better to withdraw than force himself to carry on if he's really unhappy.

@healthadvice123 Why do you think he has to pay off his student loan? He clearly doesn’t understand how they work and neither do you. If Dc make decisions on duff info, it’s a great shame. Look at the advice from Martin Lewis. At least he’s accurate.

The nephew of a friend begged and begged his parents to let him give up Uni. They refused. He hung himself. Uni is not the only option to have a successful and happy working life.

It’s never down to parents. Dc are adults and can leave. However they do need all the correct info about the implications. Clearly a Dc being that unhappy is unusual and the parents were not in tune with his mental health. Young men do find it difficult to express feelings though.

@healthadvice123 I used to work in council tax. He is liable for it. A tenancy agreement is a legal document giving him the right to live at the property. It doesn't matter if he chooses not to live there, he still has to pay both the rent and the council tax. All the others will be exempt as they are students, so it will be a 25% discount as the sole adult non exempt. You can look up the council tax band for the property here https://www.gov.uk/council-tax-bands then cross reference that with the council covering that area and their charges. This is different if they are in private halls of residence as that is a commercial property that is exempt from council tax, just thought I would add that part in. That tenancy would stipulate that they have to be students to reside there.

He can get out of the tenancy usually by having someone else take it on. He could buy himself time if he deferred his university place which would mean no council tax is due as he "intends" to return to uni, the same applies to those who fail and year and have to resit their exams.

Council tax exemptions for students ends when they are no longer students. That usually is the last day of term for them in their final year but the tenancy for shared houses usually run for 51 or 52 weeks so they are liable for council tax for a couple of months. Landlords are charged for anything in between tenancies as they are furnished properties and attract a charge. We also used to be notified by the local university when students dropped out so a charge could be raised. You are only exempt when you are a student.

It is good that he has a full time job and he needs a long term plan. Ds is about to go into his 3rd year. His mate dropped out after year 1. Paid back the student loans, is doing BTECs now in something similar to the degree course he started and working his way through those as well as working to fund himself. But he might limit himself by not having the degree in that field. Only time will tell. Your son may come back to higher education later in life. The positives are he is saying it now and not in November and he has a job.

@TizerorFizz however you look at you are paying it off thats a sinple fact, it will be taken off his wages and when applying for credit/ mortgages the payments he makes will be taken into account, Martin Lewis describes it like a graduation tax, we are not stupid we know how it works but likelihood is he will have to pay hack what borrowed and interest for a good chunk of his life be that its taken at source , still less in your wages , thats just a fact

@TizerorFizz its not that unusual for some not to like uni at all , its pretty common and you obviiousky no very little about mental health, many people you know will suffer fromMH issues and you will not know, he said himself he was not 100% sure himself on staying / leaving until last week, so even he didn’t know how he felt.

@wizbit93 yes exactly he tried it and decided not for him, and he knows the rules in our house are you work or in education not sitting around and he has never done that.
now we have spoken more he was hanging on more to not let his friends down on house and then thought he could oay the room , not understanding the CTax implications, just hoping we can find someone to take on the room.

@Needmoresleep yes spoken to housemates now and given them a few days to see if they can find someone and if not l then will advertise with maybe their preferences , its a mixed household. If it weren’t for ctax I think he would of just paid foe room. Def would not sublet and only do through landlord etc

@Netrinuel thank you for the advice and i bet most do not know they are liable for ctax in last year for a few months. I would imagine the ctax will be about £350 ish as large house and he simply could not afford the room and ctax , not sure if be entitled to universal credit as many on low incomes do get this , if the worse comes to worse and we cannot get anyone to take the room. If he deferred for a year but worked is that still considered working and having to pay? Seems wrong he would be liable foe a whole house yet onky has a room in it really and shared kitchen / bathroom .
he has a call with landlord tomorrow so will see what they say.

How did she secure interviews with no degree and what does she say when asked about it?

Sounds like he stuck it out to please you both and not disappoint but can’t do it any more. I can’t believe people are suggesting you should try and force him to go and how big a mistake he’s making, it’s his mistake to make He’s not a child he’s an adult and it’s his life and his decision. I think the op sounds like she’s handled it really well and respected her sons choice and supported him well. I wouldn’t charge him home rent if he’s still paying for the flat share tho as likely he wouldn’t be able to afford both and would end uk in debt that they would chase you for

@healthadvice123 Hes very unlikely to pay it all back - well unless he gets a very good job. . It’s not counted when you apply for a mortgage. I don’t think you have understood it and I do think Martin Lewis knows more than you appear to. I do agree, however, uni is not for everyone but this is quite late to decide after the end of y1 and based on poor financial
info. Good luck with his new career.

I clearly said, young men in particular, can hide MH issues so I don’t understand your comments.

@TizerorFizz the reason most don’t pay it all back is due to the huge amount of interest and yes its taken into account as disposable income when assessing affordability to pay a mortgage so in a way taken into account, its a 30 year debt ( more for those going later) and I have many friends who moan about their loan, the idea of the degree is to get a good well paid job and its jot much kore than miniumum wage you start paying something all be it low anount, we do understand how it works but many do nit go to uni as they don’t want the loans its as simple as that, plus its all the other money spent, the loan amount does not see you through , Martin Lewis is appealing on this as its nit gone up in llne with cost of living , going to uni is def a financial decision aa well.
yes maybe bit late in saying but to be honest the room he signed up for months ago aa you have to get in quick so he has been tied into that for a while, maybe being home and working has helped him come to his decision.
better now than halfway through year 2.
his happiness is way more important than any degree and plenty of successful people who dob’t have one or do one later in life. So lots if options still , he is still young.

nameitagain why would you need a degree to get an interview

He will have to pay some council tax, probably 50% but it could be 75% BUT the landlord might only rent to students, so he needs to contact them and ask.

He needs to let his friends know so they can find someone to replace him.

He needs to contact the uni and either withdraw or defer. If he has passed year one he might be able to claim a Cert HE.

@sashh council tax is 50% land and 50% 2 adults living in a property. As I said above, I worked in council tax in a university town. If one person in a student household stops being a student they lose their student exemption. A 75% charge is levied. For a bit of background previously the 50% part for land used to apply to second homes as there would be a full charge on a "sole and main" residence. But then this was a problem for tourist areas having only 50% of a possible full charge. It was then decided councils could charge up to 90% so then second home owners started to lie about having "tenants" in the property with fake tenancy agreements because why pay 90% when you can chance your arm at paying 75% etc.

@healthadvice123 if he defers for a year and works he would not be liable for council tax as he would still be considered under a student exemption as he will still be on roll for the university. It is why I suggested it as a swerve. I do not think he should pay any of the electric/gas bills if he is not living there. Just the rent but he might get someone to share that house. The landlord just wants the money so they usually don't care if he pays the rent or he gets someone else to take it over. But make sure things are put in writing and he gets the tenancy cancelled in writing. You do not want to be stung further down the line.

Re paying for a whole house, the shit one is when a lone parent has a child reach 18 and if they are not in education a full charge is levied. It is 2 adults, it doesn't matter if one of those is a child and a parent. Fine if the 18 year old is working and can contribute, not great if they are just being a couch potato and the parent has lost the child benefit and now has a higher council tax bill.

This has happened a few times in my dds shared houses they were always replaced pretty quickly

@healthadvice123 If he doesn’t aspire to a well paid job, he’s not going to pay much off in his student finance agreement. He would barely notice it. I would agree, don’t bother with a degree if he prefers non degree work. However all research shows most degrees will get you a better job but you have to want one and plan a career path. Plus not be risk averse. DD1 has paid off hers. DD2 earns little and hasn’t paid much at all.

If he ever goes back, the loan is changing. Millions have these loans and, at the lower end, barely notice them. The future loan is being paid on a lower salary and for longer. It is still worth it for a degree level work and a decent career structure though.