Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued

[Panicmode1]

New thread.....!

Definitely no parents at DS matriculation at C

Thanks for correcting me I think I assumed when he said we couldn’t attend in 2021 that it was because of Covid restrictions. Neither myself or my husband even went to university never mind Oxford so the whole process was very new to us and we are still learning.

Thank you everybody for your answers about clothing for parents' tea&cake. I will wash my favorite jeans for the event! I am a bit excited, but DC is mortified that I want to go.

@KittyTinker i think O&C are so different from any university with all their traditions. It's very new to us and me and my husband have spent a lot of time at university!

Ah, @Panicmode1 that is so similar to our experience, except no offer of parents' tea. He desperately wanted us to just leave so he could start his life and we had sandwiches on our own!

I may have misremembered. Perhaps there was tea and cake. Definitely no speeches or greetings. My memory is eclipsed by that 8-flights-of-stairs tower! Then in final year he was four flights up a spiral staircase. I got dizzy lugging his stuff in and out every eight weeks. Downside of living in college.

@KittyTinker and @sytron hopefully you will carry on asking questions on here. It is a really supportive thread, so ask away!

@craggyrat staying for 3 days! That's a lot. We live around 225 miles from C depending on which route you take. I'm afraid we left early on the Saturday morning, drove there, unloaded DD & her stuff, grabbed some lunch in the refectory, had the aforementioned tea & cake with the Master then kissed DD goodbye and drove home. I was almost certainly rehearsing on the Sunday. DD was more than happy to get rid of us.

@Malbecfan first post covid holiday! DS wasn’t feeling very confident and we thought staying in the background but close was the right way to go for him. By the time we left he was absolutely fine. Now we drop and and collect in one day but it was the right way to do it for DS the first time.

Fair enough @craggyrat . I thought you were the over-anxious parent of kids I have taught who take a day to do the drive there and a day to do the drive back - they live 3 miles from me. Mum "doesn't do motorways". They go every school half term to see the DD. Yes C is a nice city to visit but every holiday???

@Malbecfan - no we never visit in term time. Terms are short enough so don’t want to do the drive more than necessary. Saying that we are doing an overnight this time as there and back in the day is too much so soon after the cancer surgery for me.

To be fair I'm hoping that this term will be the one when ds manages to book me a space for a formal hall dinner during term - previously the spaces have all gone by the time he ambles along to try and book.

Today he was doing Open Day tours - I don't actually know if it was a subject tour, think it was a college tour. They get paid for doing it...

DD led medical school tours at O today. Nice little earner.

She'll head back to O on the train by herself in a couple of weeks as we'll be away visiting DS2 in the US. We'll drop some stuff off a week later. She'll be fine as she put lots of stuff in storage for the summer.

I'll take DS1 back to O on Sunday for his 4th and final year. We live close enough for to get there in less than 90 mins by car.

@craggyrat I’m in awe that you're doing the drive down, an overnight stay and back up North - last October was my once and only, hence the name DD is known by the porters at her college 🤣
Was going to say, as usual, ‘make sure your lads look after you’ but then there’s no need.😊. But, make sure you look after yourself! 💐

Thanks @ProggyMat - yes we definitely are sick of the sight of the A1! He had a short contract last year so room needed emptying each term

Goodness HoneyMobster in all my years as an Oxford parent and the challenges faced in leaving stuff in college over the vacs, I'm amazed they let a London based student leave anything substantial behind. Even Magdalen was pretty tight.

@goodbyestranger - the college allows you to pay per box. It's a good service.

Dropped DS1 back today for his 4th Year in Oxford. Best room of his 4 years so far. Nice house in Jericho with lots of room and armchairs. Good kitchen and a garden as well. All friends in the house!

He's looking forward to this year (his masters year) as it will be a bit different to the others. I think he'll be ready to move on at the end of the year though. Over lunch he remarked how much he enjoyed the work during his summer internship and is looking forward to starting paid work.

Is that a privately rented house HoneyMobster?

No - college owned.

DC1 returned from 8 weeks dissertation research in France yesterday. Lovely to have them home. Now we are planning how to get 2x children’s belongings down (up!) 300 miles with one car. DC2 (fresher) heads for pre term course on the train next week with a v large suitcase then a week later we drive down with the roof box plus DC2’s bike and DC1 and their stuff.

That’s the plan, whether we can make it all work is debatable….. DC1 may end up on the train. They’ve more stuff as self catering in a college flat for 3rd year. Have to fit in visit for DC1 to very poorly grandpa en route.

Good luck to all those starting at O & C in the next few weeks. It's very exciting and I hope not too daunting. My DCs really loved their time at Oxford and Cambridge and although in many ways are ready to move on, miss everything on offer there.

Particular good wishes to @craggyrat with all that's been going on for you medically and I'm very pleased that you had better news recently and that your DS is able to focus on going into his second year shorty. @Clemenc0 I hope everything works out well for your DH too.

I remember that moving in dates were very last minute for both of mine and the worry that I'd have to drive to both places on the same day - thankfully not the case in the end. Neither of their colleges offered any kind of tea or talk for parents and as it was the days of the pandemic, it was very much a case of drop and go and don't stay long in the buildings.

@HoneyMobster good luck to your DS1 going into his 4th year and I hope he has a great final time there. Everyone else going back for 2nd, 3rd and 4th years, I hope your DCs are happy to return and not overwhelmed by work.

@OhYouBadBadKitten it's great to see you back on this thread and also your input too, @Malbecfan and of course @goodbyestranger - an absolute veteran of these threads.

I'm going to continue to check in from time to time when I get the chance. Meanwhile, my DCs are starting law (Masters) conversion courses and applying for yet another round of TCs and Vac Schemes - far more gruelling and demoralising than Oxbridge applications. DS2 got to the last stage with about 7 or 8 firms and is still waiting news about a Vac Scheme result - probably in vain. I suspect persistence pays off in the end but it could be years before they succeed.

Thanks for the good wishes @mutterphore. Best of luck to your DCs.

Thanks @mutterphore and best of luck to your DSs. I hope you stick around with your recent experience of both O & C

@mutterphore That's exciting. Are they doing it together and at home or away again?

DD graduates on Friday with an early ceremony, lunchtime drinks & reception, then an invitation to evensong. I hope the weather doesn't scupper events, especially as my comfiest footwear will be completely inappropriate if it rains.

Evening@mutterphore and thank you for your thoughts on our current experiences. My partner is just waiting on last chemo session delayed by a symptom of an earlier round. This will be prior to the much longer chapter of radical surgery, a year of routine Herceptin treatment and finally reconstruction/ cosmetic surgery in the fullness of time. DS is taking all this in his stride and is just keeping going which is what OH hopes for. He is on a short but well-deserved break in Lisbon this week with friends from C. Then a bit of a rush to get him back to college a week on Friday.
The very best of luck to your DC in the next stage of life. I also recognise how slow this stage can be from my own experience.

Best wishes to you and your wife @Clemenc0 and I hope your son enjoys Lisbon and has a great term. We are dropping off week Saturday. Have you come across the charity 'Something to look forward to'? They have donated gifts for cancer patients. I came across it on Mumsnet cancer thread. As they are based in C, a lot of their experiences are based there such as free meals or accommodation. I've been given a night in a hotel directly opposite gates of DS" college, and also free RHS tickets for the gardens in our home town - we are in Yorkshire. They are such lovely people!