Another path ....... and it goes on

[chopc]

New thread

Have you had a name change @HostaCentral? You never know, she may surprise you (re grades for PhD).

Lovely to hear everyone's news and what an amazing bunch of YP we have.

My DD had work experience lined up in London for last October and is there! Whilst the job is not long term she loves working in London and it has given her the breathing space to consider what direction to go in.

DD managed to squeeze in a month of travelling at the beginning of the year and visited her best friend in Japan, the highlight was night skiing in Hokkaido.

Enjoy the Summer everyone.

DS graduated from Durham earlier this month after a 4 year course, including a year abroad. He was delighted to get a 1st with a distinction in the spoken language.

With hindsight, I think he's relieved he didn't get in to Oxford after 2 attempts. Durham really exceeded his expectations and he has met some incredible people there.

He has a job with a large accountancy firm (London audit) starting in September.

Wishing your (not so) young people the very best of luck in their future endeavours.

@KnittedCardi Was me 😊

How lovely to hear the updates. Very pleased that all dc are doing so well

@chopc- sounds quite stressful but glad all your dc are where they want to be
@Dobbyismyabsolutefav- job sounds really good .. great for the cv and gosh- some fun in London - I’m with her there ! 😊 Japanese trip sounds amazing !

@HostaCentral.. sounds like a summer break and a chance to kick back is very much in order for your dd. It’s the first summer my dd isn’t working since she was 15. It’s exciting times for them all ..a path is sure to present itself to your clever clever girl soon

@midlifecongrats to your dc on his graduation and the job .

We've had a tricky 6 months here culminating in a family bereavement that has been felt deeply by all. Hard when your kid is away from you and grieving - you just want to huddle as a family.
Graduation day was a stunning celebration.

dd is now travelling with friends - I’m so relieved she’s got away and having fun ! She is beginning a PhD at the end of September

I was on this thread a few years ago (although my sons graduated in 2020). I just wanted to say congratulations to the SeasonFinale and chopc children with the law firm training contracts. My twins qualified last year and their sisters are solicitors too (as am I) and I know how hard it is to get these jobs. My son's friend qualified as a dentist last year and their other friend as an accountant at one of the big firms.

I am still happily housing my twins who currently show no sign of moving out ( we are in outer London so it is all pretty easy for the work days in the office and very nice for the working from home days) but at least I don't even buy their food now.

@Longtimenewseeis your DD staying on at Durham for her PhD?

@Xenialovely to hear from you! And congratulations to your YP. Are your twins working with you or other firms?

@MidLifeCrisis007 congratulations to your DS! I can’t recall where he did his year abroad?

@HostaCentral and before that were you BigWooly? I just looked at the list at the beginning of the thread and couldn’t place you still

maybe I should update it with the DC’s plans after graduation?

@Dobbyismyabsolutefav apologies, I cannot recall your DD’s background- where did she go to Uni?

@chopc My DD was at Exeter.

Yes @chopc

chopc They did, but neither of them work for me now, although they both trained at my one person firm, but with secondments to other places. One did one secondment during the training and the other did two (law firm and an in house one). I think they got pretty good training even though from their mother but also because of those secondments too and they have pretty good exam grades all the way through from A level to law exams.

Obviously I would have preferred had they obtained training contracts whilst at university at another law firm for after their law exams but that did not happen. They are quite good so, although it will always look pretty bad to have your mother's firm on your CV, hopefully now they are in jobs they will do fine. One said this week he likes his job so much he thinks this will be his last holiday ever - he is probably the only person I know ever to say that and hopefully he will change his mind as there is more to life than work, but he has found a lot of very good friends at work. If you go in house, however, the only way to get big pay increases is to keep moving jobs which he won't want to do but that is up to him.

One was seconded in his last 6 months in-house to a company (not a law firm) and then they asked him to stay on first for a maternity cover and now permanently. The other similarly got an in-house solicitor job when he qualified last year - he had about 4 or 5 stages of interviewing etc for it and got the job.

So since they qualified in 2024 I have been children free in the sense of no longer supporting any of the five nor paying their unviersity costs nor trainee solicitor wages. As we started paying about 50% of each of net salaries on full time baby care in 1984 (it was terribly expensive even then) it was a long 40 years of paying a lot out for children but I would not have done it any other way and it is not as if I were sitting here wanting to buy an expensive car or yacht or anything like that.

Thanks for taking the time to respond @Xenia. I do admire how you have managed to support all five if your children financially- I believe on your own? It sounds as though your DC are exactly where they want to be.

How is everyone doing? I hope all dc are enjoying this next stage of life.

Dd is feeling a bit down. Graduated last year from Bristol with a first in History. She then worked for a year for a youth organisation which was actually very worthwhile and she learnt lots of valuable skills. Now the job has finished she’s feeling a bit lost. She wants to go travelling after Christmas, maybe Aus and/or SE Asia, but is worried about long term career plans. During university she was thinking about law and applied for several internships but wasn’t successful (but at one firm she got down to the last 30 from 900 applicants). She then went off the idea and looked at publishing (but no money in it). She’s worrying about her lack of focus. She’s been looking at various grad schemes.

Im not sure how to advise her. Do graduates generally decide on a specific career or is it better to keep an open mind?

Plus it doesn’t help that it seems that many of her peers seem to have landed good grad jobs already.

@bendmeoverbackwardsyour DC is probably not alone but may only know a certain cohort of people. I think the important thing is to get working in any field if you are unsure which field you want to go into. Pick something she is interested in and get a job as related to that as possible. She will hopefully fall into a career that way.

DD focussed on an area (realised how competitive) so had a plan A, B, C and a fallback (TeachFirst). She found recruitment fairs at her uni useful (areas she would have never considered or didn't think would consider her - social science degree).

I'd be tempted only to go travelling if she's sorted job wise for afterwards (could be difficult to job search from abroad plus not sure how employers would look someone 2 years out might not be eligible for all schemes)

My DD graduated from Brown in the summer and is living and working in NY since then.

We are shocked and saddened by the shootings yesterday.
DD has talked to some friends who are still at Brown,
One I know well had to stay hidden in a library with her phone on silent for hours.

It was one of my worries when DD and now a second DD went to study in the US but you think it won’t really happen.

@ChimneyPoti just came on here today as I remembered your DD. Glad she is OK. I understand the concern ….. it never happens to you until it does. I guess you can’t live in complete fear.

Glad the Brown U child is safe. I was also shocked and saddened by it. Young people at the start of their adult lives have so much to give to the world and it always seems particularly nasty to attack them. Come after an old woman like I am if you have to do it at all but not university students.

On young people finding it hard to decide on jobs it is very hard and it tends to be people who have jobs who write about it online; yet the reality is loads of good people find it hard to make up their minds and then get rejected from things too. it is a brutal process at times. I applied to 139 London law firms and had 25 interviews whilst in the laws year of my law degree before getting that offer which even now, over 40 years on feels like the biggest break of my career.

Now my children are in jobs I am on here much less and I suppose there is less to say. The one who loves his work has a day off today but he is spending it with a friend from work and another ex colleague doing sports together so in a sense a bus man's holiday but I remain glad he likes his work. The one non lawyer child was here last week (his degree was ancient history a good while back) and he is fine and will be back from Christmas and seems content with relatively low paid work, lives on his own in Oxfordshire and has a full time day job about 5 minutes from home, no weekends to be worked etc so even he is doing fine. One of the 2 of mine still at home might move out next year and rent with his girl friend.

Helloo all. DD graduated Oxford in November. Lovely ceremony, cold and grey, but luckily not raining.

She didn't get the 68 required for Oxford PHD, so has decided to set that aside for a while.

In the meantime is applying for the few jobs available in museums and historic houses..... Funding is dire and many jobs are now only part time. Lots of her friends are doing several p/t roles to keep busy.

But, she is working at Waterstones, and actually loves it. MW obvs, but nice company, 50% off books (hoorah), and quite a few other Oxford History grads..... It's definitely a thing 😂

It gives her time to compete in Nationals in her sport next year. Which will be her last chance as a Junior.

We (and her) are in the enviable position of being able to support her for a while, and hopefully give her some breathing space to decide her next steps.

So lovely to hear the updates. When the Brown shooting was reported I remembered “we” had a student there so thank you for the reassuring update @ChimneyPot

@HostaCentral so lovely to hear your update, our DDs both studied History at Exeter but I don’t think they knew each other. Working in a bookshop is my dream job - I’m rather a bookworm.
My DD seems happily settled in her role as a PM in a publishing company. She’s enjoyed some fun projects including managing a Christmas jewellery shoot last month. It’s been lovely having her home for the last 18 months but she is understandably keen to live independently and is hoping to move into a shared flat with one of her new friends in the new year.
Hoping everybody is doing well, staying healthy, and looking forward to a wonderful Christmas 🎄

Aww lovely to see updates.

Very glad to hear our (now ex) Brown student is ok. Awful shocking news

Dd graduated in the summer and (so far) is happily working away at her PhD . She is coming back for 10 days over Xmas so I’m very much looking forward to seeing her . She’s (unexpectedly I think) also enjoying demonstrating/ teaching in the labs which has been lovely to hear about and is a welcome income boost on top of the stipend.

I agree with Xenia . A good proportion of DD’s friends are finding it hard to decide what to do or having difficulty getting interviews. It feels like such a different job market to when they started uni. Her friends who graduated the year before her took nearly a year or so to get work . A few have gone travelling
I am supporting DD’s older sibling after a major blip and hoping he also finds his feet soon . He’ll get there I’m sure
Have a lovely Christmas all x

Lovely to hear everyone’s updates!

I am enjoying having DS1 home again whilst studying for his law exams. It’s mostly him and myself at home as husband has been traveling a lot and DD3 is at school.

Most of DS1 uni cohort have landed great jobs - hence I was anxious that it took him so long to do the same 🙈

DS2 applying for summer internships and finding it very tough

@AvocadoPlant Your DD's job sounds amazing. Can I be nosey and ask how she entered the publishing world?? Was it grad entry or working her way up?? Are you in London??

Hi @HostaCentral of course.
Grad role in international company with 3 UK offices. Has the option to work in London office but chose to work from office in our nearest city.
Long story short, she saw an advert for a different role in this company, did some research on linked-in and realised there was a recent Exeter grad there so reached out & made contact. Through her, DD learned they were recruiting for grad PMs, and managed to get in a last minute application. So it was a combination of luck, bring pro-active and then working through the various interview stages.

Hello all!
Well DS is still following his dream - went to drama school for a post grad in acting after uni and recently graduated and got his first agent!
He's back at home living with us for the moment and just working out how to juggle the demands of finding some paid work whilst also leaving enough time to audition etc.
We're happy to support him for the moment, but of course he also wants to move out/ be independent and live with friends in the longer term.