Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

please help... finals and my ds has fallen to pieces.

55 replies

Ingles2 · 07/05/2023 18:34

I'm really hoping there are some uni lecturers / people who can help as I didn't go to uni and have no clue of the best course of action...
Ds2 is 4th year of an integrated masters at Durham in Nat sciences maths and physics.. He has been struggling with his Mental health for the last year. he has dreadful OCD / anxiety and is having CBT and takes Prozac I think.. it was sertraline but he has changed it recently..
Anyway, It came to light after 3rd years exams that he wasn't able to focus / concentrate / revise and therefore didn't do well.. scrapped through I think. I thought things were improving this year, started therapy and drugs etc but it was difficult to tell as he's a 21 year old man and lives at the other end of the country. I went to visit him last weekend and was shocked at how ill, thin and unhappy he was . I tried to intervene but he refused any of my suggestions of help.
Now here we are, Sunday night, first exam is Tuesday morning and he's just rung. He cant do it, he's been trying to revise but nothing is going in. I don't know what to suggest. Please tell me what we should be doing . thanks

OP posts:
Juja · 08/05/2023 23:05

@Ingles2 your DS has the benefit of your love and support. It sounds as though you and him are doing exactly the right thing.

I’m sure the coming weeks will be tough for him and you as a family. I do hope you can hold onto the young man he was when he started at Uni who has clearly been so affected by the rubbish circumstances of Uni at Covid. He is still there.

Wishing you all the best in finding the right support. His health is so much more precious than a degree however challenging it must be to step out of the Uni system right now. There will be plenty of opportunities to rejoin that journey later.

DSstrugglingatUni · 09/05/2023 00:24

I’m pleased you have heard back and have an answer re the immediate exams OP.

Sending you and your DS good thoughts, it’s a tough time but he has you in the corner.

Xenia · 09/05/2023 14:16

Glad there is a decision taken - no exams to be taken for year 4 (may be he has a BSc from years 1 -3 anyway and that may be ejough for many careers so may be he even will choose not to bo ther with year 4) or he may recover and go back in September if better and redo year 4.

titchy · 09/05/2023 17:39

Xenia · 09/05/2023 14:16

Glad there is a decision taken - no exams to be taken for year 4 (may be he has a BSc from years 1 -3 anyway and that may be ejough for many careers so may be he even will choose not to bo ther with year 4) or he may recover and go back in September if better and redo year 4.

Xenia makes a good point - if he has enough credits for a BSc it might be worth thinking about leaving with that. He'd be eligible for a Masters loan in the future that way - gaining an integrated Masters means he wouldn't be able to access the loan.

MargaretThursday · 09/05/2023 22:08

Glad to hear he won't have to do the exams.
Hope things start looking up for him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page