It is awful. I am a member of staff and member of UCU and I feel awful.
Re. boycotting staff not caring about students, all I can say is that we care deeply about students, but that we cannot do the best for them if the trend of overworking and underpaying us continues year after year. We have to care about not just this cohort of students but all future students. If we didn't care about students, why would we be in this job? But I understand that when it's your kids affected, it's hard to see past that and again I'm sorry.
Re. neither side budging, boycotting staff are desperate for negotiations. We're now in week 10 of 50% of our pay being docked, despite working full time (at Edinburgh; in some places, pay has been docked 100%). And, we have been trying to address the trend of worsening pay and conditions since 2018, losing days of pay in the process. The marking boycott was the last resort. So for us to settle for another pay cut now, we will be accepting further pay cuts and increasing workloads for years to come - with all that implies for future students. That's why we feel we have to insist that it's the universities, who have record reserves of £44bn, who have to budge.
Re. UCU saying superficial things... you're right it's complicated and the union sometimes simplifies. But it's undeniable that universities have seen their income increase year on year, while squeezing staff pay in real terms every year since 2009. The more systemic problem is increased marketization of the sector where universities are placed in competition with each other for students fee income. This has led to a situation where some unis have hoovered up all the students and become richer and others have been left struggling for students and the associated fee income. Richer universities then use the financial state of the poorer ones as an excuse to refuse pay rises in line with inflation year after year. So the systemic problem is at the root of it, but I'd note that the union is trying to do something about that, suggesting caps on students for more even distribution and a return to block funding from government, as well as a fairer pay settlement (which can still be afforded by all institutions even with the wealth disparity).
I understand that many will still think a marking boycott is still just not acceptable. Several folk have said "of course your cause is just, but the tactic is not ok. There must be another way for you to achieve your goal" But what? If we knew, we'd be doing it.