Dd distraught about first year at uni but won't help herself

[Brilop]

She says she hates her course. She started with high hopes but has had a few very low marks (47) and now doesn't think she'll finish the first year with a 2.1. The first year doesn't count for the overall grade but it's supposed to be the easiest year (although she can drop one of the modules that she did badly in). She's depressed, moody and really hard to talk to. She's contacted her tutor and heard nothing and says she's too embarrassed to ask for more feedback. She's also mentioned dyslexia and the uni are thinking of assessing her but she refuses to chase it up. Obviously there's nothing practical I can do.

I've told her that if she wants to drop out that's fine but she says she can't, she'd be too embarrassed. I've suggested changing courses but she says there's nothing she wants to do. She's now hysterical upstairs the gp has prescribed anti depressants but she's refusing to take them.

I just don't know what to suggest 😪

I think generally that’s quite fortunate..
the Unis I refer to were all in London and they were quite clear about it, although the way they referred to it was that since it was 10% as long as you passed it barely made a difference if your average was 65% or 95% at the exams in the first year.

Get the dyslexia assessment - if she has got dyslexia that then opens the door for DSA which opens the door for a somewhat irritating laptop (I do not know anyone who finished my course with the DSA issued laptop they started with cos they were too big, heavy and the battery life wasn't great) but also opens the door for software for either dictation or screen reading, and mentoring support.
I got through my first degree with undiagnosed dyslexia and I never actually read and understood a journal article the entire time I was there - and this was a RG uni and I missed a first by 2 bastard marks... I blagged it by reading abstracts and arguing the toss - I have great information retrieval skills - I can skim and grab the answer - I just don't retain and process text at all well and it turns into word soup on the way into my brain and dribbles out of my ears.

Went back to a post92 uni as an adult and they picked up this dyslexia and very spiky cognitive profile - and fucking hell the difference just having screen reading software made to me in terms of how I could engage with text was just amazing. I also had a mental health mentor who kept me sane as a result of other elements of my DSA package.

Also - hit on any of the support available - we had sessions in the library where they would talk you through literature searching and check you were up to speed with referencing correctly, there were study skills sessions in academic writing, statistics and everything else and you could book in for individual support if you needed something that wasn't directly offered.

I'd love to.contaxt the tutor but not sure dd will want me to. Or if they'll listen. Everyone's always saying on here that you should let your dcs sort these things out themselves

If she's depressed, all bets are off; just do what you think is best.
In one of the sons first term I had a very distressed phone call from him; totally out of character and my first inkling of any problem. I offered to come right awqy; he refused. I suggsted he ask for help, more tears. Without telling DS I rang the college PDQ and asked for his tutor. The tutor's first words were " You got here first; I was about to call you because we're becoming concerned. He's been noticed, somethings not right." He was absolutely brilliant with me, and then with son; he stayed put, the university gave him lots of support until he was back on his feet.

They are well used to student struggles.