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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Parents on open days?

54 replies

HealthyFats · 24/03/2023 17:55

I'm really confused about this- can anyone help? When I was applying for uni, parents definitely didn't go on open days. I now understand that they often do- have you done this and was it actually helpful to you/DC? Did you go round together and just loiter at the back or are there separate things to do?

OP posts:
Motherhubbardscupboard · 24/03/2023 17:56

Almost everyone has a parent with them. You generally go round together, occasionally there are separate events but that would more likely be on an offer holder day than an open day.

Copasetic · 24/03/2023 17:59

I guess it depends on your child as to how helpful it was. Mine totally wanted me there as a but socially awkward, not independent and wanted my opinion too. We actually really enjoyed the open days. My eldest even took me to a post-grad open day for the same reason. Mostly people are at open days with parents.

3littlebeans · 24/03/2023 18:02

I think it changed when we started paying fees.

I was one of the last years that didn't and it wasn't normal to take a parent round with you then at all....

3littlebeans · 24/03/2023 18:03

Also pre my time when most people left school at 16 (or 15) or sometimes 18 and uni wasn't so popular you really did enter adult life younger.

So it would be normal to have adults at 18 in jobs and own housing etc. Today housing is so expensive and so many go to uni that the age kids leave home/work had on average increased.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 24/03/2023 18:05

I went with my kids and everyone else seemed to have a parent with them too.

Spanielsarepainless · 24/03/2023 18:06

It's forty-plus years since I was looking at universities and although my parents were keen to take me to the various cities I didn't expect them to come to the actual university with me. It's the first truly adult decision most of us make and it is safe to do it without parents in tow.

Reugny · 24/03/2023 18:13

I had to stand in for parents a few years ago at a university open day. (Parents had run out of annual leave.)

Before hand find out what the teen/young adult:

  • wants to ask about the course
  • is interested in apart from their course. This means things on campus like sports facilities, language learning opportunities, clubs and possibly the actual university town/city.

Then have a sort of checklist to make sure they have found out the answers to their questions and to ensure they have a chance to look at the other things before you leave the place.

Yes you go around with them but they need to take the lead.

Remember they are going to be in debt for most of their working lives to pay their university costs back so they need to feel their money isn't going to be wasted if they go to that uni.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 24/03/2023 18:18

Spanielsarepainless · 24/03/2023 18:06

It's forty-plus years since I was looking at universities and although my parents were keen to take me to the various cities I didn't expect them to come to the actual university with me. It's the first truly adult decision most of us make and it is safe to do it without parents in tow.

As you say , it's been a lkng time since you did it! Trust me, 99% of kids take a parent

Xarrie · 24/03/2023 18:23

99% have a parent with them.

Original poster
HealthyFats · 24/03/2023 18:32

Thanks all! Jolly pleased as I really want to go 😁

OP posts:
VirginiaQ · 24/03/2023 18:36

Just been to an offers holders day and yes everyone had a parent with them apart form 3 suspicious lads who I think were just there for the food!!

I think it really showed how infantalised and immature our children have become. Only parents asked questions and they were really embarassing ones like, 'Will someone come and get my son up for lectures?' 'What happens if my daughter's late for a lecture,' ' Will you ring us if they're not attending lectures' and so on and so forth.' There was even one bloke who asked if there was another uni in the city that did also did computer science??!!! Has he not heard of google and why on earth would you ask that anyway??!!

anon666 · 24/03/2023 18:41

I have escorted DD but not gone round the whole thing with her.

A bit of both - travelling together, meeting for coffee to discuss afterwards but without cramping her style.

Also I would find it super boring tbh and I have little enough free time. 🤫

Exasperatednow · 24/03/2023 18:42

I went with but didn't go in.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 24/03/2023 19:30

anon666 · 24/03/2023 18:41

I have escorted DD but not gone round the whole thing with her.

A bit of both - travelling together, meeting for coffee to discuss afterwards but without cramping her style.

Also I would find it super boring tbh and I have little enough free time. 🤫

How supportive.

Snoopystick · 24/03/2023 19:35

It all has changed. I went round all my uni open days with a group from school but my friend has just gone round 4 unis with her other half, her DD and her boyfriend- they stayed over for all of them and had meals out etc. Incredibly expensive!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 24/03/2023 19:37

It's been this way for ages. My children were applying 2010-12 ish and most potential students had parents with them at Open Days and offer holder days.

PerpetualOptimist · 24/03/2023 19:46

If my DC want me to accompany them, I do; if they don't, I leave them to it. Basically I am guided by them; todate they have generally wanted me to attend their first one but not thereafter.

If I do go, I am careful not to unintentionally crowd out DC who are unaccompanied. Unis often restrict the number of additional attendees per prospective student to address that issue, which I think is a good thing.

BeeBB · 24/03/2023 19:53

Highlyflavouredgravy · 24/03/2023 18:18

As you say , it's been a lkng time since you did it! Trust me, 99% of kids take a parent

Show quote history

This exactly especially as these days or this time around many parents will be contributing/topping/investing in a students education decision to go to Uni it depends whether you would just give away X thousand pounds per year without knowing what you maybe getting or not getting for your money/investment in your child/students future.

I would say 95% have parents there unless an older student or students live within a couple of miles away from a local Uni.

ScentOfAMemory · 24/03/2023 19:57

Holders' Days definitely, everyone has a parent (or whole group of people) with them. Last year DD and I bring just 2 people together was pretty much a minority. Parents at the school I teach at are sometimes unsure as to whether they should go or not, but we tell them they are pretty much expected to.
I did open days and interviews in 1984 and as far as I remember, almost all of the people then also had one parent with them tbh.

BurbageBrook · 24/03/2023 21:11

I'm a uni lecturer and I notice the vast majority of students have parents with them. Mature students don't, but almost all 18 year olds do.

NancyJoan · 24/03/2023 21:21

My DD will still be 16 when we go to open days this summer. I don’t want her travelling the length of the UK by herself, and her friends don’t want to go to the same places. So, yes, I will be going too.

3littlebeans · 24/03/2023 21:26

I was 16/17 when I went looking and I remember several of us piling into the car of someone who was driving and going to a uni an hour away. School 6th form used to give us the morning off and have a special mark in the register if we went.

Late 90s! It's changed so much.

3littlebeans · 24/03/2023 21:27

If you think many took a gap year at 18 or "went travelling" or got a job etc .... then yes going a whole away on a train or with friends wouldn't be unusual at nearly 16/17.

Boomboom22 · 24/03/2023 21:30

In 2002 most people had parents with them so I'd guess even more now. Very odd questions asked by parents on the post above, imagine if someone did wake precious up for lectures the parent would be saying fire them for assault 🤣

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 24/03/2023 21:39

ScentOfAMemory · 24/03/2023 19:57

Holders' Days definitely, everyone has a parent (or whole group of people) with them. Last year DD and I bring just 2 people together was pretty much a minority. Parents at the school I teach at are sometimes unsure as to whether they should go or not, but we tell them they are pretty much expected to.
I did open days and interviews in 1984 and as far as I remember, almost all of the people then also had one parent with them tbh.

That surprises me. I applied to university in 1978/9. There were no Open Days, far less offerholder days. Two of the courses I applied to didn't interview, the other three did. I went to all three on my own, by train. It would have never occurred to my parents or me that they should have come too, but my Mum couldn't have done, as she was a teacher, and my Dad didn't need to, as they were all straightforward journeys. They hadn't had the chance to go to university and were delighted that I was going. They (rightly, in our case) assumed I would get good advice from school about the process. Very different times!