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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Parents on open days?

54 replies

HealthyFats · 24/03/2023 17:55

I'm really confused about this- can anyone help? When I was applying for uni, parents definitely didn't go on open days. I now understand that they often do- have you done this and was it actually helpful to you/DC? Did you go round together and just loiter at the back or are there separate things to do?

OP posts:
chouxfleur · 24/03/2023 21:44

3littlebeans · 24/03/2023 18:02

I think it changed when we started paying fees.

I was one of the last years that didn't and it wasn't normal to take a parent round with you then at all....

Yes, I agree with this. Now parents are paying they want to make sure they are getting their money's worth.

Wbeezer · 24/03/2023 21:47

I'd love to go to DS3s offer holder day as it's at the same art school I went to but I won't! It's his to experience.
I did take DS2 to open days as we are country bumpkins and I was concerned he'd get lost and also he needed lifts due to our location.

FatOaf · 24/03/2023 21:52

Now parents are paying they want to make sure they are getting their money's worth.

Parents aren't paying for the courses. They might be paying for - or towards - accommodation, and it's maybe fair enough for them to be inspecting that, but they're not usually paying for teaching, labs, libraries, etc.

Invisimamma · 24/03/2023 21:53

I graduated in 2010 and a lot of people had parents with them. I remember being really surprised by this and all of a sudden felt a bit awkward and out of place being there alone. It has never occurred to me to ask my mum to come, and it had obviously never occurred to her to come with me. I was 15 at the time and started uni at 16 (Scotland).

Nordicmom · 24/03/2023 22:01

Interesting , my DS experience going around several universities last year at 17 y old was that there were some parents but lots of kids without theirs like him , he wasn’t an exception at all . My DH only went to one with him when there were train strikes and he did 5 others by himself and went all the way to Durham and back from south on multiple trains in a day and then onto the coast to MIL because we were away for my birthday weekend . If he’d asked we would have possibly been able to accompany him to some of them but not all since I’m not well and DH works long days and we have more than one child . It didn’t occur to me that we need to be there it was his decision where he goes and he needs to be independent and manage these things by himself in the fall . I’ve tried to in general prepare him to be able to look after himself . I think lots of kids aren’t doing enough for themselves compared to when I was his age nowadays . Luckily he’s very organised and on top of things like with his studies but of course he still need help and advice in life too . Now he’s got the date for the offer holders event for the one he’s chosen and no we weren’t planning to go and he hasn’t asked us to either . I guess it’s up to you and your child !

anon666 · 24/03/2023 22:04

Highlyflavouredgravy · 24/03/2023 19:30

How supportive.

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How judgy 🙄

mondaytosunday · 24/03/2023 22:29

We've been to a few snd the vast majority had at least one parent. I suppose if they had a friend interested in the same uni then they could go together. But my daughter is doing something completely different from any of hers so I go. Especially if it's some distance away - one will require an overnight stay so we will make it a mini break.
Also I've been to university, and I may have a different perspective.

Autienotnautie · 24/03/2023 22:29

My dd wanted to visit 6 unis I had a young child with sen so it was tricky. I went to 3, she went to 1 with her dad, 1 with her sister and 1 with friends .

redrobin75 · 24/03/2023 22:37

Yes lots of parents and yes I find it very annoying when parents ask the questions. I don't think the train strikes have helped in past year as it's meant dc have relied on being driven.

aibutohavethisusername · 24/03/2023 22:45

DD went to all hers alone or with friends.

AliTheMinx · 25/03/2023 09:58

Yes. It's very common for parents to come to Open Days too. At Bath, parents and applicants go on separate tours, so that they can each ask ambassadors the things they really want to know, but parents and applicants attend the programme talks together. We always have excellent questions from parents.

So1invictus · 25/03/2023 10:41

AliTheMinx · 25/03/2023 09:58

Yes. It's very common for parents to come to Open Days too. At Bath, parents and applicants go on separate tours, so that they can each ask ambassadors the things they really want to know, but parents and applicants attend the programme talks together. We always have excellent questions from parents.

The holders' day at Bath last year was fabulous. Totally swung it for my daughter who is now there living her dream both academically and socially. You could really see that a lot of effort had gone into organising the day. (this came up on another thread where people were complaining about a lack of effort on the part of some universities)
We flew over from Italy for it and I am so so glad we did. ❤️

AliTheMinx · 25/03/2023 11:06

So1invictus · 25/03/2023 10:41

The holders' day at Bath last year was fabulous. Totally swung it for my daughter who is now there living her dream both academically and socially. You could really see that a lot of effort had gone into organising the day. (this came up on another thread where people were complaining about a lack of effort on the part of some universities)
We flew over from Italy for it and I am so so glad we did. ❤️

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I'm so pleased to hear this and delighted that your daughter is so happy at Bath! I'm obviously biased, as I studied at Bath and now I work there, but it really is a fantastic place to live and study. I am so glad that the Applicant Visit Day helped her to make such a great decision x

WandaWonder · 25/03/2023 11:14

Parents go from experience from another side please parents do not speak for your kids sure go for support but they need to speak and ask questions themselves

And don't call up once they have enrolled to check up on them, ask if they are warm enough, they have picky tastes so can the menu be altered...

tiredhadenough · 25/03/2023 14:33

I'm 40+ and my parents came and so did many others at the open days!!

Moveforward · 25/03/2023 14:37

An adult went to all my DDs open days. Partly as she needed to be driven as they were all difficult to get to by public transport (because of where we live). I went to some, her Dad and I to others, and her mates Mum to another.

We looked around together and went to some talks, but not all.

When the offer day came around, I drove her and the left and wandered the local city and drank copious amounts of coffee

PatChaunceysFruitCake · 25/03/2023 14:39

tiredhadenough · 25/03/2023 14:33

I'm 40+ and my parents came and so did many others at the open days!!

I was coming to say the same thing! I went up in 1998 and my Dad looked round with me in what would have been 1997. It certainly didn't seem odd and most people had a parent with them.

It hadn't occurred to me that I wouldn't go with DD when she starts to look.

Totally agree with the comments about parents asking question though... unless it relates to how much it's going to cost you!

gogohmm · 25/03/2023 14:40

Universities usually offer sessions for parents on finance, and you can go around with your child but please try to let your child do the talking - it's them signing up!

gogohmm · 25/03/2023 14:42

I visited some with dd1, dd2 was taken but her school

3littlebeans · 25/03/2023 14:47

I was late 90s and went across country on the train myself and wasn't unusual.

Oxford we slept over for interviews and no parents slept over!

110APiccadilly · 25/03/2023 14:50

I started uni in 2008, and was unusual in that I went to an open day alone - I remember going home and complaining to my mum that I was the only one without a parent there. She was surprised as in her day parents never went.

QueenofLouisiana · 25/03/2023 14:54

Open Days, I was a taxi service and didn’t look around. One of them I had to take as a WFH day so I sat in a hotel and worked (school knew where I was, but I was very visibly working and contactable).

offer holder says, I went around and attended the parents lectures, walked the campus etc as DS wanted to be able to talk through it before making a firm choice.

Imnotachap · 25/03/2023 22:25

I went to university in the 90s. Visited three - on the train with friends. Didn't occur to me that parents would come.

Notagardener · 25/03/2023 22:35

With all 3 DC I took them to the open day of the local uni, just to see what an open day actually was. After that they trained it themselves.

DC 16 is planning a trip soon, taking train at 6am and I'm already dreading having to drop her off so early 🙂

Socrateswasrightaboutvoting · 25/03/2023 22:50

Notagardener · 25/03/2023 22:35

With all 3 DC I took them to the open day of the local uni, just to see what an open day actually was. After that they trained it themselves.

DC 16 is planning a trip soon, taking train at 6am and I'm already dreading having to drop her off so early 🙂

I attended open days and offer holders days with DCs. There is often lots of selling going on, attending allows me to play devils advocate when DCs are decision making. Particularly useful with DS as he was choosing a London University.