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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Daughters application rejected...

119 replies

halfbakedkate · 14/02/2023 18:34

My daughter is devastated that her first choice university has not offered her a place. She got a fairly generic response about being unsuccessful due to a huge number of applicants.

She is predicted above the course requirements and has worked so hard - it's half term and she's in her room studying now. She had her heart set on this course and university. She feels at a loss at to what else she could have done.

I just wondered if there is any advice - is it a lost cause? I thought about calling the university tomorrow and see if there is any wriggle room.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 14/02/2023 18:34

Your DAUGHTER should call them

Motnight · 14/02/2023 18:35

Please don't ring the university on your dd's behalf. She could phone the admissions officer herself if she wanted to discuss it further, or contact the course team.

LIZS · 14/02/2023 18:38

Presumably she has other choices? Is it a very competitive subject/uni? I doubt she will change their minds but worth a call. If still no she needs to get enthusiastic about the others.

Rosebaywillow · 14/02/2023 18:39

What has she applied for? Some courses are highly over-subscribed and universities can pick and choose who they give offers to, going with those predicted higher grades than the course entry requirements given.
While the uni is unlikely to change its mind, it should be your daughter who makes contact as it is her application.

iusedtobeasize8 · 14/02/2023 18:39

It isn't always about getting the required grades. Some courses put great emphasis on the personal statement. It may be worth your daughter ringing and asking. As upsetting as it is sometimes things just aren't meant to be.

LeroyJenkinssss · 14/02/2023 18:44

Please don’t ring. I get it - she’s heartbroken and you want to do something to help that, but ringing up and asking if there’s ‘wiggle’ room isn’t going to help.

what course and university? As has been said, some just are oversubscribed and there may just be more students with higher grades, better extra-curricular, better personal statements. Your dd could perhaps ring and ask but I doubt she’d get anything bar a repetition of the generic response. She’d also not be asking for a review of her application but rather feedback on the rejection.

Macaroni46 · 14/02/2023 18:48

Maybe use this as an opportunity to help her learn how to overcome disappointment. As parents we always want to put everything right for our DC and to solve all their problems. But in reality we can't and by trying to do so, we f'ing actually prepare out DC for the real world.
Most definitely DO NOT phone the university on her behalf. If she's desperate for that particular course / uni then that's something she can take on herself.

Macaroni46 · 14/02/2023 18:48

Maybe use this as an opportunity to help her learn how to overcome disappointment. As parents we always want to put everything right for our DC and to solve all their problems. But in reality we can't and by trying to do so, we f'ing actually prepare out DC for the real world.
Most definitely DO NOT phone the university on her behalf. If she's desperate for that particular course / uni then that's something she can take on herself.

Original poster
halfbakedkate · 14/02/2023 18:49

Thanks for the replies. Sorry, I meant her calling, reading it back I can see that's not clear.

I feel really sorry for her. She is predicted way above what the requirements are and she had her heart set on the uni. This system is very new to me which is why I am asking for any advice so I know I probably sound naive.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 14/02/2023 18:51

This is why you have to pick multiple options. What was it she especially loved about this one? What does she want to study? Maybe people could give alternative universities that tick her boxes?

unfortunateevents · 14/02/2023 18:52

What course? For some courses, the personal statement makes little to no difference, but for others, previous work experience in the area or being able to demonstrate real passion for the subject is important.

surreygirl1987 · 14/02/2023 18:55

Students don't automatically get a place just because they meet or exceed the entry requirements. I got rejected by 3 of my uni choices (admittedly one was Cambridge so no surprise) despite my predicted grades meeting or exceeding their requirements. And I had 100% in my degree choice subject at AS level! Looking back years later, I see my personal statement was awful... can't believe nobody gave me a heads-up before I sent it! Also although I did loads of sports, there wasn't much to prove that I was passionate about my subject, English Litersture, outside of the A LVel course (ie entering literary competitions, writing for a magazine, volunteering at literary festivals etc- thr supra-curricular. Big emphasis on this now).

It's like applying for a job- you might meet and exceed all the job requirements but that doesn't mean you're going to get offered it! They clearly had other applicants that they felt would be a better fit.

I do sympathise with your daughter though - I was gutted with my uni rejections but very happy with where I ended up. If she's that devastated, could she take a gap year and reapply next year, and maybe work on her personal statement (and supra-curricular)?

topcat2014 · 14/02/2023 18:58

Whenever I didn't get a job I thought fxxk them. If they don't want me I no longer want them.

Upsetting for DD but first in many times when life (outside safe confines of school) doesn't go according to plan

Swimswam · 14/02/2023 19:01

Let her be sad. That’s normal and expected.
Wait and see what the offers are from the other choices.
It all feels so intense for them. But there are other options. Other doors will open.

TreacleMcDoo · 14/02/2023 19:03

Two choices, she accepts a place somewhere else or she reapplies either through clearing if they offer her course at her chosen uni or she takes a gap year and reapplies although some courses don't really like gap years like maths.

Entry grades are the lowest they will take students in on so lots of students have grades above the entry level. Does her personal statement reflect her love of her subject outside of school? Has she talked about everything she has watched, read, listened to, what she learned about her subject from this?

Statistically lots of high level universities are massively oversubscribed and so even the best of the best get rejected. It is sad and lots of parents have been there. You only need to be on this board to see it every year.

Christmaspyjamas · 14/02/2023 19:06

Kindly...this is a brilliant opportunity for your daughter to learn that sometimes through no fault of our own things don't go our way. The job offer, the house, health....

Encourage her to move on, focus her hopes elsewhere and accept that she will never know...but that she is too strong resourceful and hardworking not to have another great opportunity.

Please don't encourage her to fixate, dwell and try and find a 'reason'.

gogohmm · 14/02/2023 19:06

Are you in the U.K.? If so you select up to 5 choices, then you see who gives offers - top universities got too many applicants on their more popular courses so even exceeding the grades guide doesn't ensure an offer. Some courses get 10x the applicants than places.

VanCleefArpels · 14/02/2023 19:08

why was she applying to a course she is potentially over qualified for?

perhaps frame it that she can aim higher and this will benefit her in the longer run

Holyguacamollie · 14/02/2023 19:10

What course and uni OP?

user1494050295 · 14/02/2023 19:12

Motnight · 14/02/2023 18:35

Please don't ring the university on your dd's behalf. She could phone the admissions officer herself if she wanted to discuss it further, or contact the course team.

This. Your daughter is an adult. Sorry to hear she did t receive an offer for her first choice. Is it a competitive course?

Nimbostratus100 · 14/02/2023 19:15

kindly, universities turn students down, thats what an application is, a request to be considered, nothing more.

It a shame she is upset, but maybe her expectations were a bit askew? You cant really "set your heart on" a university, you just prioritise your choices and hope one of them wants you.

She will have plenty of others to choose from, I am sure.
Best wishes

wineymummy · 14/02/2023 19:22

I didn't get an offer from Edinburgh when I was in sixth form, for the same reason. My head of sixth form rang them up (I didn't ask) and then I got an offer. Ended up elsewhere anyway as I was a bit put out by the whole experience. But no harm in someone phoning. Albeit that was 20 years ago.

Babymamamama · 14/02/2023 19:24

I would encourage her to phone and seek some feedback. No harm done.

CantFindTheBeat · 14/02/2023 19:30

It's a brutal system, OP.

Definitely encourage her to call/email and see if she can get some insight into why she wasn't offered and what, if any, her backup options for that particular Uni and course are.

Absolutely no harm in that whatsoever. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

And hats off to you for being a concerned and supportive mum. No harm in that either x

Shroedy · 14/02/2023 19:44

Calling might get some more insight into why she might not have received an offer (although no guarantee and might be pretty generic) but they won't reconsider. Set your expectations. It might take her a while to readjust her expectations but that is what she will have to do.

If she really isn't open to the other options would she consider a gap year and reapplying? If she would and does call, worth asking the university if they thought it would be worth reapplying and what might make the difference if she did.