Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Daughters application rejected...

119 replies

halfbakedkate · 14/02/2023 18:34

My daughter is devastated that her first choice university has not offered her a place. She got a fairly generic response about being unsuccessful due to a huge number of applicants.

She is predicted above the course requirements and has worked so hard - it's half term and she's in her room studying now. She had her heart set on this course and university. She feels at a loss at to what else she could have done.

I just wondered if there is any advice - is it a lost cause? I thought about calling the university tomorrow and see if there is any wriggle room.

OP posts:

BirdyPig · 14/02/2023 19:51

I didn't get my first 2 choices for uni.

It is what it is unfortunately!

I went to my 3rd choice.

EwwSprouts · 14/02/2023 19:57

DS didn't get his first choice offer last year. Discovered later he really wasn't ever likely to as a RUK applicant to St Andrews. Odds were worse on paper than Cambridge. He's very happy at his second choice.

WombatChocolate · 14/02/2023 20:00

Quite simply often there’s nothing else you can do and it’s a numbers game.

Ive known students with all L9 at GCSE and all Astar predictions for A Level, and great personal statements not get an offer to Durham or LSE. Quite simply too many applied and they had to choose. Perhaps they used quotas of students from different types of school or some other system, but usually there’s nothing else you can do when you’re a seemingly perfect student and don’t get an offer.

Many unis don’t really read the personal statement, so make sure she knows it’s just a numbers thing and not a ‘failing’ on her behalf re her personal statement or extra curricular or something else.

And yes,part of life is learning go to accept that these things happen. Often kids applying for top unis haven’t had a failure of any type in their life. It’s been all top grades and getting what they wanted….it is a nasty shock, but parents play a key role in helping them respond d to it. Sympathise with her, let her have a day or 2 of disappointment, but don’t make it into a big thing or fuel her disappointment ir string it out. Onwards and upwards. If you take that view you’ll help her do it too.

As parents we also have to learn we sometimes have to accept these things. Some parents feel they’ve always been able to solve everything go for their kids….either with some sharp elbows, or cash or simply with love. Actually, you can’t and that’s something we all have to learn too.

Fortunately with this issue there are 5 choices on UCAS and there will be other good options for a clever girl. That’s the important thing to remember. You move onto Plan B.

Original poster

halfbakedkate · 14/02/2023 20:00

Thank you everyone for your advice and positive stories. It's been really helpful to hear.

She's feeling pretty raw but tomorrow will be time for her to work out what next.

OP posts:

DottieUncBab · 14/02/2023 20:17

Whatever you do do not phone the university yourself!?!?!

Name999999 · 14/02/2023 20:19

Awwh, please ask her to call and feedback.

After various interviews over 25 years ago I didn’t get into my first choice (Oxford) as a sole, state educated, of colour female, first generation to university in the cohort invited to interview I think today I would have gone it! I had the grades, I hadn’t had the hours of tutoring, my parents barely read or write English and I didn’t have the interview practice etc.

All these years on I wish I’d asked for feedback.

Name999999 · 14/02/2023 20:20

BUT I went to a RG Uni, made amazing friends for life and soon after met my DH on our post grads. If I had gone to Oxford none of this would have happened. No regrets.

OntarioBagnet · 14/02/2023 20:24

I sift through uni applications every year and unfortunately have to turn down hundreds of people who have predicted grades which meet or exceed requirements. It is likely to be due to the personal statement. I don’t consider any appeals/emails begging for a reconsideration but guess every uni is different.

unfortunateevents · 14/02/2023 20:25

Is there a reason why you are not saying which course she has applied for? Is it something competitive like medicine or physio?

DrEllie · 14/02/2023 20:27

I applied for Uni A in a city but I didn't get in and went to Uni B in same city. It was brilliant for me and I don't regret not getting my first choice

MyriadOfTravels · 14/02/2023 20:57

Dc1 was in the same place last year.
Its crap. There is a lot if grief there because they somehow already imagine the great life they’d get there.

But it’s also part of life. He got what was his second choice and is having a great time.

The lesson there is to never put all your hopes on ONE Uni. Just like you wouldn’t put all your hopes on one job application etc…

A good reminder that things don’t always go like you’d want (or it ‘should’). That something different doesn’t mean something worse. And that there are things you have no control over. There has been too many people in my dc’s year who got ‘strange’ answers - think Oxford said yes but Bristol said no…. Sometimes, the logic of the decision isn’t obvious.

One comment though - if this is a Scottish university, they are extremely hard to get into if you live in England. Even with the ‘perfect’ grades.

OuiLaLa · 14/02/2023 21:03

i have seen you aren’t going to call yourself which I think is good. My dad called for me when I got rejected from my first choice - he didn’t ask, just called! I was mortified.

It made no difference ofc but they were very nice to him!

I was very happy at my alternate choice op and I wish your dd well! Loads of fun courses to do and ppl to meet, she is just getting started!

LIZS · 14/02/2023 21:04

One comment though - if this is a Scottish university, they are extremely hard to get into if you live in England. Even with the ‘perfect’ grades.

Not necessarily true ime but they do balance numbers of students from different funding streams, which can delay the offer process.

OuiLaLa · 14/02/2023 21:07

I should add that it is a sweet memory of my dad now! 😁

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 14/02/2023 21:10

Please don’t ring for feedback, you won’t get anything further than the generic response that she already has.

I help students with their UCAS applications and it is very rare to get anything helpful. The person who are speaking to won’t made the decision and those who did make the decision won’t necessarily have made notes, just put it in the ‘no offer’ pile.

As others have said - this is how resilience is made. Picking yourself up from getting knocked down.

At this stage she has probably got offers in, start getting excited about those, but give her a few days to feel sad (healthy to feel) and then move on.

TizerorFizz · 14/02/2023 21:23

University, subject and competition for places are all at play here. Some university courses are always over subscribed. DC have 5 choices for a reason. (Or 4). It’s never healthy to fixate on one. See if other offers come in. Assuming she didn’t apply for just one!

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 14/02/2023 21:39

She could ring and get feedback on her application- it may be that something else was lacking, e.g. there was something they expected to see in the personal statement etc, which your daughter didn't provide. However, some unis now won't give specific feedback on applications for various reasons.

Are her predictions realistic, based on her GCSE grades? If she got, say, 5s and 6s at GCSE and has been predicted AAA, the uni may just not believe her predictions.

It may be, despite being oversubscribed, the uni ends up having places via clearing- in which case your daughter could get in that way. Or she could reapply next year with achieved grades and having improved on her personal statement- no guarantees, but often unis see students with achieved grades as a surer bet.

Ultimately, very popular courses do get a lot more applicants than places, and they can't accept everyone.

Does she have any other offers?

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 14/02/2023 21:40

BTW, if you're willing to share the course applied for, and the courses your daughter is currently taking, then we may be able to spot if it's something obvious like she's not taking the right combination of A-levels etc.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 14/02/2023 21:43

halfbakedkate · 14/02/2023 18:34

My daughter is devastated that her first choice university has not offered her a place. She got a fairly generic response about being unsuccessful due to a huge number of applicants.

I just wondered if there is any advice - is it a lost cause? I thought about calling the university tomorrow and see if there is any wriggle room.

What would you say? I used to be the administrator for an oversubscribed postgraduate course. One of the particular highlights in my years of dealing with admissions was a phone call from an applicant who'd been turned down whose response was to ring up and say 'Pleeeeeease'. Just embarrassing. Unfortunately there are lots of highly qualified applicants for the top courses. It's a hard lesson for your daughter but she will get over it.

SeasonFinale · 14/02/2023 22:11

The feedback you have already been given is likely to be the only feedback they will give.

Even if she exceeded standard offer x ie all 9s and 4 x Astar then it is not uncommon for places such as Durham, Warwick, UCL, Kings, LSE to turn people down because they are massively oversubscribed. Further add in Comp Sci or Economics then the odds are even more likely that you will be rejected.

They know how many offers they need to make (with past stats of those failing to make offers or choosing elsewhere) and won't be able to magic up a place for someone they have turned down at this stage.

WombsofWimbledon · 14/02/2023 22:12

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 18:34

Your DAUGHTER should call them

Do you write for the Daily Mail?

Original poster

halfbakedkate · 14/02/2023 22:15

OuiLaLa · 14/02/2023 21:07

I should add that it is a sweet memory of my dad now! 😁

That's a lovely memory.

Thank you all for the advice. I would rather not say the course or uni in case it's a bit outing but suffice to say I have taken all the advice onboard and feel in a better position to support and encourage her.

She is resilient. Without going into details, she has been through a lot over the past couple of years and her confidence has taken a huge knock. But she always bounces back. I hope it will be the same now.

OP posts:

FormerAcademic · 14/02/2023 22:19

The best advice, OP, is to allow your daughter to feel sad, and then encourage her to be positive and look elsewhere. I was an admissions tutor at a redbrick, and there is no point in anyone ringing, or requesting feedback. Everyone in universities is stretched so thinly that they can barely keep their heads above water as it is, and there just isn't time to give specific feedback to each applicant. Your DD will be just as happy somewhere else - on the whole, young people enjoy their university experience, even if it's not at the place where that they hoped/intended to be. I'd use it as an exercise in resilience.

Summerfun54321 · 14/02/2023 22:26

She could either:

go to a different uni or
work her arse off and get even higher than her predicted grades and apply again next year after a gap year. In her gap year she could try to gain some relevant work experience or volunteering relevant to her course that would enrich her application.

Getting knocked back can actually be very motivating sometimes and lead to new experiences and opportunities.

TheFifthTellytubby · 14/02/2023 22:28

Your DD doesn't have to compromise - she could take a year out and try again next year if she's really set her heart on a particular course and/or university. My DD did this after failing to secure a single offer for a highly competitive course. Applying again the following year, with grades in hand, was a completely different - and successful - experience. Nothing shows greater focus and determination than giving it another go. And it's also a great opportunity to do some travelling and get some work experience in the meantime.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread