Oxford/Cambridge - current students support/chat thread 2022 - cont

[Panicmode1]

@petitebleu - so sorry to hear about your DS. I hope that some time out over Christmas may help to give him some space and time to think about his next steps.

@petitebleu best wishes also from me. It is a very mature and wise thing he has done. Good luck to him.

@petitebleu - just adding my good wishes to your DS - so important to be doing a subject they enjoy. It is a huge challenge having to make choices so young when often our DC cannot realise what is actually involved.

Wishing him (and you!) all the best with their new UCAS application.... fingers crossed...

@petitebleu - wishing your DS the very best.

@petitebleu the very best of luck to your DS. I bet he feels so much better now the decision is made. His new university will be very lucky to have him.
You sound like the kind of parent every young person should have.

@petitebleu another one adding my good wishes to you and your DS

DS1 (C) and DS2 (O) are now very happily back at their respective colleges and already seem to be enjoying themselves, although they're also working hard too.

DS1 announced on his last vacation day that he actually has a mock finals exam this coming week, along with needing to start his thesis and prepare for two subject topics this term too. As usual, he seems relaxed about this, although I think this will be his most intense term, academically.

DS2 managed to get well ahead of work last term and so only needs to revise his much longer thesis, which is the basis of his entire term. He's already busy with rowing and rowing-related social events.

Both DS1 and DS2 continue to make career-related applications and DS2 has progressed further with one, following a recent interview but knows how competitive it is, so is being realistic about the next step.

It's incredible that this is their second last term, as it still seems so recent that they started university.

I now have an enormous backlog of work to tackle and my tax return to do too but am happy I've been able to prioritise time with DCs across the Christmas period, as I don't know how much longer they'll be living at home.

I hope everyone else going back or already returned, has a very good term.

@petitebleu Well done to your son for being honest with himself and everyone else that Cambridge wasn't working out for him - it takes great strength of character to acknowledge that and take a different path.

My work colleague did one term of history at Cambridge but realised it wasn't for her so didn't go back after the Christmas vac. She started at another uni the following September doing history and said she knew immediately that it was a much better "fit"; ended up loving her time at uni, has no regrets and has had a very successful career (unrelated to history).

DD1 is currently on the train back to Oxford for the new term - thankfully it wasn't cancelled as I feared - was actually bang on time despite warnings of severe post-strike disruption.

Can I ask if any/many of you often think that your kids at Oxbridge are just plain lucky?

Ds is on his way back to O after his first term. Has done literally no work over the holiday, exams this week, will sail through them I expect as he did GCSEs, A levels.

He’s bright and will succeed academically without any real effort.

His lovely sister, meanwhile, struggles with getting 6s in GCSE’s despite the work she puts in. And thinks she’s stupid.

@Member786488 I think most students at Oxbridge have their struggles in one way or another. My eldest seems to do well with much less work than she’s supposed to do but still a lot… and a lot of stress. My DS finds his course pretty onerous and he hasn’t had a great time overall. DD2 is doing ok but also works quite hard and thinks she’s thick most of the time. Many of their friends at other universities seem to do much less work. So “lucky” wouldn’t be my word…

@Member786488 not a black and white thing though.

Lucky that he's really good at maths, grew up in a house where university was always a likely option, had parents with jobs early on that were able to afford to live in the catchment of a decent state school, part of a peer group that is into academic work, is white, male, lives in a country at peace...

Unlucky in that his dad my dh was seriously ill all his life and died traumatically when he was only 14, that we were both struggling with our bereavement all through GCSEs, that we had a really low income most of his childhood...

Lots of luck. But some tough things too. He doesn't have masses of extracurricular success so it's also handy that C isn't much interested in any of that.

@Member786488 some of DS's academic success is due to aptitude and luck, but he is also very self-disciplined and conscientious. He doesn't have exams until the summer, but studied fairly consistently over this vacation anyway, including completing a big assignment which isn't due until the start of May.

I@Member786488 DS is lucky he has a strong aptitude for maths, but he works. Hard. And has done most of the holiday because his subject (engineering) has one of the highest numbers of contact hours (alongside NatSci I think) and he said needed to catch up on the bits he didn't understand and get ahead of next term's lectures/revision. He sailed through school and got the prize for the best A level results at his superselective grammar etc - but he has found the first term quite challenging in terms of pressure and workload. He's working far harder than friends of his doing engineering at other universities. 'The harder I work, the luckier I get' is very true I think! He knows he's very lucky to be studying where he is - but I agree with @Ironoaks and @PermanentTemporary that it's a combination of luck, aptitude, determination, work - and parental support - not just luck on its own.

@petitebleu Good luck to your son. He sounds like a very mature and courageous individual and you are a lovely, supportive parent. I went to Cambridge (NatSci) and after the first term I knew it wasn't right for me but I didn't want to admit this to myself or to my parents, but I wish that I had. I did struggle on and it ended up ok but I think I would have had a better experience on a different course and at a different university. It's lovely to hear that he's looking forward to what the future brings. Good luck to him with his UCAS applications. He'll have a much clearer idea of what he wants now and I'm sure that will be invaluable in plotting his course ahead.

DD4 also on her way back after ferry cancellations yesterday. Set off in the early hours in the pitch black to put her on the only ferry sailing today but she got a very neat connection at Glasgow and is minutes away from Carlisle in spite of dire warnings of flooding, cancellations and delays. She was doing application things mostly, rather than work, over the holidays. She's doing a few rather than lots - application fatigue a real danger with the ludicrous amount of pre-testing required these days and written submissions asking 'Why?' etc. Just as well that wasn't a thing in my d ay. I liked interviews but endless form filling not so much. The aim was to do the application stuff ahead of term so it didn't clutter work up, although she had a good week off over Christmas when the family was home.

Does anyone know when the next student loan payment goes in?? Both ds and I are down to the bones of our arses money wise... I probably need to sub him a little bit but am not sure how long it will be for.

If he signs into his student loan account it should show the dates and amounts.

DD ( O) says Friday- thank the Lord!

DD4 on last leg of journey (Birmingham New St to Oxford) has had her enormous suitcase containing all her wordly goods including all her folders of handwritten notes and essays stolen. She messaged just as she realised (two minutes ahead of the train getting to Oxford) and has spoken to staff at the station who have taken details but she is way beyond upset so any creative ideas or experience of how to try to retrieve the case would be hugely, hugely welcome. No idea why she brought everything home but she did, so that's that. It was a massive case which she's been lugging from 6am this morning, onto the ferry, off, onto the train, off, on another train and another train again. She's exhausted poor thing and in floods.

Nooooo, poor thing! Was it left in the luggage racks at the end of the carriage? Is there any chance someone just moved it and the train will get to its final destination with it still on board? Might be worth ringing that station to see if they could check??

Transport police are the people to contact - never quite sure of their relationship to the Rail companies / station staff so worth reporting direct.

Also, there aren’t THAT many stations between Birmingham and Oxford iirc- could you / she also contact all those stations to ask them to check their CCTV for people getting off her train?

Aah your poor daughter!! She must be distraught and panicky. Not the start to the year that she expected. I imagine she’d just be wanted all her work back at this point so hopefully they won’t be any use to whoever took a case and they will just dump the case with notes etc once they’ve taken anything of interest to them.

At a station I mean

Thanks very much both. She has spoken to British Transport Police at Oxford station and I am looking up all the intermediate station contact details in case the case was dumped and some kind person takes it in. Can't imagine any self respecting thief would want Classics notes and folders and essays etc. It sounds as though there are organised gangs taking stuff on this line. She's gone to her room in college but yes massively upset.

That's right - only four stations. I'd like to think they might check the CCTV but they may not think it that important in the scheme of things, given that the contents weren't of material value, but of a different type of value.

Reading station said no suitcase left on board unfortunately.