Oxford/Cambridge - current students support/chat thread 2022 - cont

[Panicmode1]

@petitebleu - so sorry to hear about your DS. I hope that some time out over Christmas may help to give him some space and time to think about his next steps.

PettsWoodParadise I never did anything about a gown for any of my DC. They all sorted gowns during freshers' week - I think there's often a card left on the desk of their room on arrival giving a discount. They are needed for matriculation so even where there are no gowns needed for formals, a gown is still essential. At Oxford gowns are still required for exams too. I don't think early purchase has to distinguish between proud and not so proud parents though!

That is so cute!

We did something very similar too!

It was a lovely thing to share with him as life moves at such pace once they are there and it is so busy all the time. I'm in denial he's going back on Monday, and there are only 8 more weeks of his first year left 🤯. Feels as though he's only just started!

@PettsWoodParadise - DS Cambridge fresher last year. College sent email with discount code for Ryder & Amies and we ordered for home delivery or you could pre order and collect in store. We had a lovely photo at home of the first trying on - hilarious! We did go to Ryder & Amies on drop off day as grandparents had ordered something for DS to collect and it was really busy and some DC who wanted to buy gowns were there and the shop was running really low on stock for some colleges so just a heads up. Good luck to your DD.

That is all so helpful thank you!

We looked at gowns online but my DS wanted to get it in freshers’ week and enjoyed going to get it with other freshers. He also seems to grow before my eyes so it was probably better for him that he tried it on!
Congratulations to everyone with offers this year 🎉

@PettsWoodParadise DS (Cambridge) was sent details of how to purchase his college gown soon after his place was confirmed. He opted to order it from store and have it sent home.

Oxford gown here. DD had a massive dose of imposter syndrome during the pandemic A level grades fiasco. We went up after her exams for a look around and to help her accept it was really going to happen and Gavin Williamson wasn't about to snatch her place away. We got hers then.

Now she's trying to find her ribbon for her finals, along with some shirts and a skirt she can sit in comfortably for 4 hours at a time. I might need to send her the hat which is on top of a bookcase at home.

I've already had to wash, iron and post sub fusc to D1 in Oxford once, I'd better check she hasn't left it at home again.

She bought the sub fusc pack in Freshers week, they went as a household to one of the official suppliers in Oxford.

Thank you all again, just googled sub fusc, so much language to learn and I thought I had done a 101 on the jargon, but clearly still have much more to learn.

I am a sucker for a nice clothes label, not as in brand, but the label inside a jacket or coat etc and the Ryder and Amies Cambridge shop label is so nice, but hardly a reason to choose for that reason!

I think I am aligned most to the thought and emotional processes of @PermanentTemporary and love the tale of buying when you heard they got in, I am wondering if this will be me on A Level results day, but all good to hear other views and experiences. I am planning to stay well out of most things so this is a bit like my outlet and I am trying hard not to make a big deal out of it! DD has a summer job at Barracudas lined up so she is trying to get them to confirm she can have results day off.

@PettsWoodParadise AFAIK sub fusc is an Oxford thing. After almost 6 years at Cambridge, I still have little clue what it is. The only thing DD needed at Cambridge was the gown.

When dd got her place, we bought some clothes for her to wear to formals ... turned out that the gown pretty much covered her entirely so it hardly mattered what she wore underneath.

DD has enjoyed picking up nice dresses from charity shops. She seems to get a lot of use of them. We live near a nice bit of London where the charity shops are very well stocked. Quite a good 'to do' in the summer holidays.

@PettsWoodParadise she won't need subfusc, it isn't a thing at Cambridge. She can sit exams in whatever clothes she feels comfortable in, up to and including finals.

She will need:
1 gown (college-specific)
1-2 smart outfits for matriculation / formal hall: suggest searching online for recent matriculation photos for her college to see the range of things that students are wearing. My friend's DD (second year at that college) wears dresses.

Thanks for that @Ironoaks - very helpful!

Ooh, this thread is moving quite fast, can't keep up with everyone's news!

@HewasH20 Nightmare for your DD with her broken wrist. She must be so stressed with the timing of it. The college summer school with the American students, it sounds like your DD, amongst other things, was acting as a sort of host or events organiser? Sounds great experience, but that's not DS's thing really. He isn't a particularly outgoing person and I think he'd struggle with that level of constant interaction and socialising and being responsible for everyone. Or am I imagining it totally wrong? I'm thinking high level Ibiza rep/Camp America counselor!

@Panicmode1 DS has been working hard these holidays too. Well, in between staying up till 2am playing Football Manager with his cousin who is also on his uni holidays. He gets up and then seems to spend his days working or applying to internships. Or eating. He didn't get further after his telephone interview but has heard back from somewhere else and he's got a face to face interview in Cambridge when he goes back. I know the odds are low that he'll get it but it'll be good practice for next year at least. DS isn't going to go back till next weekend (22nd), but I see your DS is going back on Monday? Hope my son hasn't got confused about when he has to be back! He said something about this term being slightly different from the other two as there is a longer gap between the period of residence for college and the first day of full term. Something to do with exams for 3rd and 4th years? I don't know....

It's great hearing from others' experiences of their children's internships or summer jobs. Glad to hear your DS thrived during his vac scheme @mutterphore . Hope your other done is successful in getting something soon.
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@PettsWoodParadise the gown thing is so varied. DS is at Churchill. I was excited to buy him one too but when I asked him he said gown wearing is not a big thing there, even at formals. If you go to another college formal which does do gown wearing then you can borrow one from the porters' lodge, I think. He hasn't had the need for one yet. Looking at his matriculation photo which has pride of place on our living room wall (!) most of the year group are not in gowns. The men are in suits and the women are mostly just in long dresses. A few of the women are wearing gowns. DS prefers the relative informality of Churchill in that respect I think.

@CurlyhairedAssassin in every term so far, DS's lecture weeks ran from Thursday to Wednesday, then last term they changed to being Monday to Friday. Hopefully he knows when his term starts - he plans to return to Cambridge on 22 April.

This will be the first term we're not doing a mid-term visit (due to a combination of his exam timetable and our other commitments there isn't a suitable window). Plus he'll be away for most of the summer vacation. It's all part of the natural progression of early adulthood, but it feels as though I'll hardly see him before Christmas.

@CurlyhairedAssassin he's going back early for rowing. He's been doing daily Erg sessions and is looking forward to May bumps! Congrats to your DS on his interview and good luck to him. It sounds as though he's been much more proactive than my DS.

I'm feeling a bit like you @Ironoaks . I'm taking ds back on Monday, hopefully I will be able to sneak in a quick visit for lunch mid term but he will be busy most of the summer with his internship. Luckily he wants a quick holiday in September with us which is lovely.

@Ironoaks yes DH was only saying last night how he loves the change back to the proper family dynamic when DS is home. When it’s just his brother and DH and me, it’s lovely but it’s not quite the same. I love hearing my 2 lads chatting with each other and enjoying each others’ company too. At least these few years are a gentle lead up to the time when DH and I are on our own and they’re both off doing their own thing permanently.

@Panicmode1 Ah, I’d forgotten about the rowing. That’s a major thing and shows true commitment, it may not be part of the academic side of things but you’ve got to be proactive to be involved in something like that. Sounds like he’s working hard on the academic side too so what more can you ask for?

@beeswain Yes, September seems to be the best time to fit family holidays in when they are at university. We still enjoy holidays together too. Unfortunately I work in a school so getting time off at the right time is going to prove slightly difficult for the next few years, if summer internships will be happening. Might have to consider Easter but DS has still been very busy working and applying for internships so it’s not really a “proper” break, more a pause to catch his breath before the next term with exams etc. Plus of course, going on holiday during the Easter holidays does mean that the weather often isn’t the best in lots of places.

@CurlyhairedAssassin There were two of them who were responsible for all the day to day running of the programme including the social side. In the early days they had to get them in the right place at the right time for their modules, organised a weekly formal and guest speakers, typical tourist trips, social events etc. It was good money for 6 weeks and taught her a huge amount, but you do need to be very proactive and confident.

In less than 8 weeks DD will have finished her finals. We have the opposite issue to some of you in that DD has only been home for a few days at a time since Jan 21. It's likely that she will need to come home when her lease ends and we will all need to readjust again, as well as finding room for all her stuff.

DD1 will also have finished her all-too-short time at Oxford in about 8 weeks' time, and both she and I don't want to think about that too much She is very young for her year (won't even have turned 21 when she graduates) and is planning a gap year next, with some working and some travelling. I anticipate that she'll find the "end of an era" thing quite hard and may feel fairly wobbly making that transition from constant structured activity to moving forward with her own plans. I'm someone who struggles with change and I don't want to project that onto her so trying to stay positive!
She has done the "resident advisor" role in her college twice now, including this Easter vac (looking after visiting Japanese students both times) and is hoping she may be able to do it again in August, to earn money and have the chance for a few more weeks in Oxford!

@MiniJellyBeans DD should have around 3 weeks having fin after her exams. I'm keeping everything crossed that she will finally be able to play Varsity for the team she's captained for 3 years, with or without a broken wrist. No plans thereafter either. It will be a big enough thing to get out the other side.

PettsWoodParadise hello I think remember you from the schools threads a few years back. If is nice to see a familiar name. I have name changed since then. This is a friendly bunch. There a fair number of new O/C parents as well as lots of experienced old hands! Gowns was all covered off in the freshers pack we got after the results were out.