Living at home for University

[Moonlight75]

We live in London so DC could go to uni in London and still live at home.

Has anyone done that? Do they miss out of the full university/moving out experience?

It will be out to them but just wondering as they are going to get in a big debt if moving out

*TizeroFizz' - yeah they don't say that - but the vast majority of accommodation around Fitzrovia, south of Marylebone road goes to foreign students. I know quite a few domestic students who got offered accommodation in Olympic Park, Archway and Leytonstone.

That's pretty snarky, TigerorFizz. And unecessary. Students live at home for many reasons. Some may miss out. Other don't. But snarky comments say more about you than about them.

I agree. Snarky and unnecessary. My DS made the decision as it's very, very common here to stay home - we have 4 universities, the one he's at is top 10 in the UK and top 5 for his subject- and he loves his big city. He's VERY capable of cooking/ managing/ taking responsibility. He's just turned 18 and, I reckon, will move out to a flat in 2nd year (4 year course) and wants to apply to study abroad in 3rd year. He's also planning the summer in S America- so not the mummy's boy you're drawing. Keep your snarky opinions to yourself unless you know the individual.

However I guess that doesn’t matter if you like your own bed. And mums cooking!

There are as many different levels of independence for students commuting as there are living in halls.

Staying in a bedroom in halls for a few weeks, being funded entirely by your parents who bought everything you needed, organised you getting it all there, wrote recipes, send pocket money weekly as they dont trust you with the full loan or will bail you out if you overspend (cant ruin the "experience" by having no cash!), eating super Noodles off a dirty plate in a filthy kitchen until you get picked up by your parents who deep clean everything for you before you leave is no more independent than a student commuting, can come and go as they please, budgetting while earning their own money, funding themselves, doing their own laundry, contributing towards the few meals they are in for, and organising their studies and an active uni social life around a commute.

There is more than one "uni experience". If you had ever tasted my cooking you would know it did not factor in Ds's decision to commute, 🤣 and he doesn't object to staying in other peoples beds 😉

DDs is a far better cook than me. It’s great when she is at home (gap year, intercalation and now elective) as she takes over the role of chief cook.

She does like her own bed. Why not.

Seriously though, in Europe it only seems to be the English who are fixated on the idea of moving away for University. Provided there are good courses nearby and a student is capable of building social networks, there is nothing wrong with considering home as an option. One common London approach is to have the first year in halls, and then to spend the remaining years at home.

"Staying in a bedroom in halls for a few weeks, being funded entirely by your parents who bought everything you needed, organised you getting it all there, wrote recipes, send pocket money weekly as they dont trust you with the full loan or will bail you out if you overspend (cant ruin the "experience" by having no cash!), eating super Noodles off a diplate in a filthy kitchen until you get picked up by your parents who deep clean everything for you before you leave is no more independent than a student commuting, can come and go as they please, budgetting while earning their own money, funding themselves, doing their own laundry, contributing towards the few meals they are in for, and organising their studies and an active uni social life around a commute."

Exactly this. The amount of micro management some of these young adults get (you only need to read the WIWIKAU page on Facebook) doesn't convince me it is a springboard to self reliance and independence

@LimitIsUp
Total tosh! And students at home are not micromanaged? Really? I have known countless normal students living at university who don’t behave as you describe. And neither do their parents. I always love it when DC are going abroad for the hols. Parents paying?

My DDs did a school exchange when they were 13. We didn’t go with them. They went to South Africa. Some DC just get on with making the most out of opportunities. So what? Plenty of students go abroad every year. Including mine.

If you live at home of course you like your home but don’t pretend it’s not an easy option. Of course it is. No bills to pay. Not much budgeting. Nothing to organise with letting agents. Or deal with repairs and maintenance. No money to pay out for anything much and mostly savings to be made. No hardships. All avoided. They don’t even have to tidy up after others or keep the peace. It’s great if you can do it but thousands cannot. They don’t live near a university. However I guess they are all filthy pot noodle addicts? Funny how Oxbridge students usually do well though without living at home.

it’s also dubious that European universities are that great. Not spotted any Italian universities in the top 100 lately.. Their students live at home.

We are in Sydney, two of mine are in Uni (one has moved on to a Masters) and both live at home. Rents here are extortionate and Uni is a 20 minute drive or 30 minute bus journey, train is also an option. Most of their friends also live at home. Of course it is a different experience but I went to Uni in a country where living at home was the norm so we do find it strange. They will end up with a lot less debt and will move out when they have jobs where they earn enough to do so.

The discussion is getting very odd.

Dont know a lot about Italian Universities but degrees from this one are extremely well regarded.

www.unibocconi.eu/wps/wcm/connect/bocconi/sitopubblico_en/navigation+tree/home/about+us/rankings/#:~:text=In%20the%20QS%20World%20University,16th%20rank%20(4th%20in%20Europe)

"Funny how Oxbridge students usually do well though without living at home."

Oxbridge students have bedders/scouts to do the cleaning, and fully catered accomodation in walking distance of lectures and tutorials/supervisions for all 3 years (usually), @TizerorFizz. Not much different from living at home. I suppose you do have to do your own laundry...

The discussion is getting very odd.

I agree. All the op wanted (and mostly got) was some reassurance that a proportion of students do live at home, and many of them (if not all) still manage to live life to the full. There's really no need for anyone to take sides or make generalised criticisms of other people's choices. 🙄

(central london accommodation being reserved for overseas students)

That is so not true, and quite unhelpful to spread such misinformation.

DD2 stayed at home for her Masters (though went in to university a lot as it was a lab-based MSC), but then again she did nothing but study that year – all the socialising and playing sport for the university stopped as it was such hard work!

FWIW her opinion is that she personally feels she would have missed out a bit if she had stayed at home for her under-grad as well – and may not have made the great friends and housemates that she did because they were from a totally different part of the country. But if those things aren't all that important to you then living at home works just fine.

I agree. Our daughter lived at home for the first year and then shared an apartment with other students the last three years (this is in the US).

As for "mum's cooking," she was seldom home for meals so she didn't get much of dad's cooking (he's the cook in our house); she did her own laundry, and had a very active social life. She had her own car (common in the US). She was very self-reliant and lived more like a lodger in our house, rather than a family member (so definitley no "helicopter" parenting), which worked for everyone, I think.

There's really no need for anyone to take sides or make generalised criticisms of other people's choices. 🙄

Absolutely. There are so many pros and cons to both choices, and those pros and cons can completely flip the other way depending on the uni, the individual student and even how their parents approach their child becoming a young adult.

It isn't a right / wrong choice, simply a choice.

Living at home would never have worked at me.
My mother wasn't controlling in any way, but because of her anxiety, she constantly needed to know where I was, what I was doing and when I was in sixth form I had to be home by 8pm in case "something happened".
If I'd lived at home and gone to the local university I would never have had the freedom to just go out with friends and crash at someone's place. I'd never have been able to bring a partner home and then there would have been problems if I'd wanted to stay with them.
I couldn't have coped with it and my mother and her anxiety couldn't have coped with it either. I think she was probably still anxious while I was away at university but it was better that way.

So there are lot of factors to bear in mind including the personalities/issues of both student and parents.