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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

OR 2022 - We are no longer rejects. We are parents of fabulous offspring who will do wonderful things

442 replies

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 30/08/2022 10:42

Wonderful tongue in cheek title thread by he words of @ eightytwenty.

Soooooo our thread started out back in March 2022 when our dc were Oxbridge wannabes. After thousands of posts by their nervous Mums, nail biting, discussing applications, grades, will they get to interview won't they, debates such as private vrs state, the Scottish system, then some got rejected and some had interviews and entrance assessments then much more nail biting and eating and drinking a lot and a loooong wait over Xmas 2021 the remainders were then rejected. Then more nail biting for offers to come in from the competitive Unis they had applied to with some ending up with only one or two options - our Covid Kids had it tough.

Finally May came and their actual A-levels then the brutal wait for results. I don't think I can recall any of our DC not getting their first choice?

Lots of DC off to top Unis and achieving the best grades in the land. My DD is off to Bath to do Politics and IR and I am incredibly proud of her, she is a grafter not naturally super clever but loves to learn and god I am going to miss her but she is ready and so I happy for her 😥

So please carry on our lovely supportive thread so we can see where their journeys take them.

TWAT x

OP posts:
Eightytwenty · 04/10/2022 11:01

@Valleyofthedollymix so glad he’s getting on so well. Perhaps order him some Vit D for winter. It’s definitely hard to get the right dose up here during winter. We obviously get loads in the summer with the long days.

My understanding is that Y1&2 are just gateways to the honours years. So they need to do well enough to get there but that the marks don’t contribute to their final assessment. That said that’s also likely based on my own experience.

doubleshotcappuccino · 04/10/2022 12:23

Wish I had found this book earlier : The Empty Nest by Celia Dodd. Our nest is not empty but it's still a brilliant read as I agree @Valleyofthedollymix I'm also ok if she's ok ..

SayYouDontMind · 04/10/2022 13:06

Good to hear how everyone is getting on. Glad that you got to see your DS albeit briefly Eighty.

My DS is doing well and has a part-time job, partying hard, and I think he's doing some academics too??! I think once Raisin, sorry 'reading' week is over he'll need to factor in a bit more studying. I've impressed upon him that it's great to have a job, and is enormously helpful to us all that he's earning some money but don't let it interfere with Uni work. (I could see him rolling his eyes from here!)

I know he was having a test this week. I'm deliberately not phoning or texting him in the week now (unless I'm bored and can't help myself 😁)

But he seems happy and that's all that matters for now.

Puffalicious · 04/10/2022 21:18

My understanding is that Y1&2 are just gateways to the honours years. So they need to do well enough to get there but that the marks don’t contribute to their final assessment. That said that’s also likely based on my own experience

That's my understanding too. Mind you, DS is working loads- lots of preparatory reading for lectures and tutorials and Maths exercises for labs. He's surprised at HOW much there is to do!

Eightytwenty · 04/10/2022 22:10

@doubleshotcappuccino have ordered that thank you. Know I’m just 1/3 of the way through and DS2 will also be going in less than 2 years.

@Puffalicious seems more work than I remember.

@say DS will definitely need to dial down socialising if & when he needs to get a job. He’s got savings from his job he had at school so is ok for now. But at £38 for 2 drinks (no joke) it won’t last forever.

doubleshotcappuccino · 05/10/2022 05:35

@Eightytwenty same for me in two years . I'm reading the book and using what I'm learning .. trying to move from management to consultant/advisor is one I struggle with often .

Puffalicious · 05/10/2022 15:33

Eightytwenty £38 for 2 drinks! Wow!

There seems to be loads of deals on with the societies and loads of pubs: £1.50 a drink/ free club entry and the like. Big city, I suppose, lots of competition!

And definitely seems to be more work than I remember too!

Puffalicious · 05/10/2022 15:33

I mean it's cheap for DS.

MillicentFaucet · 07/10/2022 16:22

How are we all doing? It's s2's sixteenth birthday today and it really hit home how different everything is now. S1 was on video call at 7am for present opening etc but it's not the same. He's just called S2 again for a longer chat & he sounds really happy and settled...
I'm missing him so much but I think it's all going to be ok.

Puffalicious · 07/10/2022 19:16

Aw happy birthday to DS2 Millicent. My DS2 is 16 in a few weeks too- they're all growing up too fast by far!

I'm glad your DS1 is settled. I hope you feel more settled in a wee while too.

MillicentFaucet · 07/10/2022 23:29

Thanks @Puffalicious I'm happy he's happy (but also counting down the weeks until Christmas😉)

Volterra · 07/10/2022 23:58

DS can’t home tonight. He isn’t well and won’t be going back this year. He needs some decent healthcare he didn’t get at old GP who has now ‘retired’ after a recent GMC hearing so priority is to sort that and some counselling amd will revisit doing a degree once his medication has hopefully finally been stabilised and he has had some support for his mental health.

Not sure if he will ask to defer or withdraw totally at this point but that’s a decision for another day.

Volterra · 07/10/2022 23:59

That should say DS came home tonight.

Eightytwenty · 08/10/2022 08:05

@Volterra sorry to hear this. Was your DS at St A? Have you contacted the pastoral team to discuss options? (Not sure if there had been a build up or if it has come out of the blue). There have been a few kids who’ve left I believe. The pressure of the last few years has I’m sure had a huge toll. Sending hugs.

Volterra · 08/10/2022 08:19

No he is at Bath. He hasn't contacted the university though will this week. At the moment he isn't sure he wants to be doing Maths but days he isn't in the position to decide as feels unwell.

He needs time to get his physical health stabilised. It should have happened when he was first diagnosed but GP didn't do blood tests often enough and I think he still isn't on the right dose over a year on and feels dreadful which has impacted really badly on his mental health unfortunately. He definitely needs a year out at this point.

MillicentFaucet · 08/10/2022 08:35

Oh @Volterra I'm sorry to read that your boy is so poorly. It sounds like home is the best place for him for now. I'm sending best wishes to you both and hope he gets the help he needs asap. Universities are very used to this happening so I'm sure the student well-being team at Bath will be able to advise once your DS is ready to consider his options.

Volterra · 08/10/2022 08:47

Thank you 😊

Stockpot · 08/10/2022 09:22

I’m sorry to hear your DS is feeling so poorly @Volterra I hope he can get the medical attention he needs and return feeling better. After all the effort just to get there, he must feel very reluctant to leave, but health has to come first.

ladygrinningsoul · 08/10/2022 09:29

So sorry to hear that @Volterra

Puffalicious · 08/10/2022 11:37

You and DS are in my thoughts Volterra. What a real shame for him. But health needs to come first, always. Home is the best place for him, he can get well and take his time deciding his next steps. Please take care of you too.

Volterra · 08/10/2022 13:35

Thank you all very much 🙂

doubleshotcappuccino · 08/10/2022 14:03

Ditto @Puffalicious and everyone is else .. take care @Volterra .. he's safe and home and can get the rest and treatment he needs

Original poster
TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 09/10/2022 15:01

Just catching up on all of your posts.

@Volterra So very sorry to hear that BUT I think it sounds like it is 100% for the best, a year will fly by and his health is far more important, Uni will still be there next year. I hope he improves soon and that you are feeling better Flowers

DD has been gone for just 2 weeks but it feels like so much longer. Strangely I am not missing her half as much as I thought I would. Like what many of you have said if they seem happy we are happy and she seems to be loving it. She had been desperate to go for about a year now and was more than ready, touch wood she loves her halls and new found friends and the course seems ok if a bit slow (ie not the same level of pressure as A-levels). I have to sit on my hands not to message her all the time and I have been good and wait for her to get in touch rather than bombard her with questions. I still have DS here though and we are starting Uni tours next week kicking off with Liverpool which I am looking forward to. Going to visit DD in a fortnight so looking forward to a hug and a mosey around Bath, she has promised her Dbro a campus tour too.

Glad to hear of all of their adventures whether good or bad. Christmas is around the corner and I am sure come Jan we will happily wave them back on their merry way and look forward to the peace😂

OP posts:
279Nouveauxnoms · 09/10/2022 20:29

Caught up with Volterra on another thread. I’m glad your DS is happier now and hope the application to defer goes to plan.

@TangoWhiskyAlphaTango glad your DD is enjoying Bath. DS seems really happy there so far. I agree that you miss them less as long as you know they are happy. Early days but I do think it makes it easier.

Eightytwenty · 19/10/2022 08:06

@Volterra how is your DS? Hope meds and being at home helping.

I hope all the other kids are settling well. It’s reading week for St A this week. DS came back for a night en route to a few days in the sun with a new friend. They went out with St A friends for dinner last night. Happy that he’s made friends and I don’t need to worry about his dire social life anymore. But conscious that there is a transition that is not just in term time.