A thread for those of us whose DC are disappointed today?

[coldcoldheartt]

Congrats to all the DC who got their amazing grades but I needed to start a thread for those of us who didn't get the news we wanted this morning!

DS unfortunately got DDU with an E in an AS.

He's disappointed. So am I.

Luckily his second choice has accepted him BUT he doesn't really want to go there. To add insult to injury, the only accommodation available now is 40min bus ride from campus.

Bless him.

Anyone else want to join me wallowing in self pity?! Obviously I'm keeping positive in front of Ds but I need somewhere to vent my disappointment to!

Just heard from DP that DD got BCC and is "really upset". Her offer was ABB so can't imagine that will be enough.

Oddly the B was the subject where she was said to be at most at risk of dropping a grade.

She was taking a year off anyway so at least she has time to make considered decisions. I suspect she might now start looking at entry level jobs instead.

Not really disappointed but dd was expecting AAB/AAC and got ABC, the slight disappointment being the B in English lit as she’s always his A and A in all her mocks and a level 9 in GCSE. She did have a offer for Exeter in the bases of AAB but luckily she didn’t secure it as first choice as she had a feeling she wouldn’t make the grades. She has secured her first choice as it was BCC but still feels a bit baffled by the B in English lit.

Everyone who sat A levels have done amazing, the last few years have been so awful for them, they should all be proud of themselves and their achievements. UNI isn’t the only way of getting a well paid job, many that go to uni will not end up in well paid jobs afterwards. There are other ways to be successful 🙂.

DD’s friend got a place at Warwick but has turned it down and is instead taking a apprenticeship, others are going straight into work or taking a year out. There are many options.

We had a dip in English Lit too. Has an offer of AAB and got A star, A, B so has been offered a slightly different course at the same place but not sure she fancies it. Was never that keen on insurance place!

I guess there is disappointed and disappointed.

We had low expectations that DS would simply pass all of his A Levels but had hoped for more. He did pass all of his A Levels, so met expectations, but I can't help feeling sad that other than recording he got 3 A Levels, in terms of moving him on anywhere, the last 2 years have basically been a bit wasted. Particularly as I'm fairly sure that if it hadn't been for Covid disruption he would have done much better.

The main thing I am focussing on is that there is no wrong paths, just different paths.

The main thing I am focussing on is that there is no wrong paths, just different paths.

Yes, thank you for this.
Personally I feel like I've let him down a bit. Due to a change in family circumstances we had to take him out of his independent school where he got great GCSEs and enrol him in a local sixth form where he just didn't apply himself.

He just doesn't have any 'fire' for anything so just coasts along. I really hope he finds something that will light that fire, I'm hoping this is the shock he needed and it will be the making of him 🤞🏼

Odd question - but DD’s results are showing as 2021 - is that right?

BEEE here. He was expecting BEEU so it as better than expected, but was capable of BBBB ….he just never applied himself. He is of well above average intellect.

Football fans on this thread will know the joke about Gareth Bale: “Wales. Golf. Madrid. In that order”.

In my son’s case it was, “Mates. Golf. Football. In that order”. School did not feature.

He is unbothered. He’s just loving life. He's a worry.

Just wanted to post here - when I got my A-level results (20+ years ago!), I didn’t get the grades I needed for uni. I spent the next two days crying my eyes out. It felt like the end of the world.
I chose to resit to do what I wanted to do. It was tough but it taught me a lot about myself. I actually got into a better uni the second time around. I’ve now found my niche in my career and it all came together for me. I know how awful it feels, but just hoped it might be a bit of encouragement for the future.

Teacher here and mum of a 20 year old at Uni. I know some students will be disappointed but it's really good to remind them that they are not their grades and to stay positive. Every grade is an achievement even if it isn't the one you hoped for. My son got his grades but decided that the course was no longer for him as it was too lecture based and not practical enough and consequently changed. The 'life admin' associated with it was stressful but absolutely paid off and he is thriving, a different person entirely. Deviating from your initial hopes and plans often works out better. We are very adaptable as Covid times have shown us. Wishing everyone who is disappointed every success going forward.

Just talked to DD - she sounded reasonably calm and was talking about resitting one paper next year. I don't think she really revised quite hard enough - I think her chances of securing a better grade are reasonable.

I'm disappointed in the school - apparently none of her teachers offered any advice or sympathy at all.

Sorry to those that haven't got what they wanted/needed today. It's been a really tough few years and very unfair for those that have missed out given the circumstances 😔

I'm also hugely disappointed for DS today that he didn't get what he hoped for with his L3 BTEC. His course was an absolute shambles from start to finish. He had really poor quality teaching and communication from the college and lots of the staff left halfway through. That's in addition to all the disruption from Covid. I'm amazed he got through it but it's definitely affected his results.

However I work in a uni and increasingly seeing lots of students with real concerns about the quality and value of HE (rightly so in many cases) I think his results might refocus him and help to consider options away from studying full time - again not a bad thing!

To any parents that are worried, don't panic. My DS2 didn't get the grades he needed. He ended up working for a few years then in his mid 20s decided to go to uni with a much better idea of what he wanted from life. Not only that but he is studying in another country and learning the language at the same time. I doubt he would have applied himself to his studies anywhere near as well at 18.

I just wanted to pop on and say I was the student who didn’t get their grades 20+ yrs ago. I thought it was the end of the world but I ended up on a different course and honestly life worked out. Not like I thought it would but it did. Honest.

Years ago my cousin was set to do medicine, didn't get the grades so did law and has had a fascinating career working for the EU in Brussels. Not at all what she envisioned but while it's good to have a road map there are many diversions too.
I do think the system here is awful though and wish they would end the narrow subjects/exam based culture.

I would advocate the Apprenticeahip route , my company run a management trainee programme with excellent progression opportunities.

DS didn't make the grades he needed for his first choice (he has BCC rather than ABB but two of those are maths and physics so I think he did brilliantly, especially with the chaos of the past two years.)
He didn't want to opt for his insurance place so we went through clearing today and he has an offer on a great looking course at a different uni. He's excited and happy, so I am too. Beforehand we spoke about plan A B and C so he was prepared for considering options, and he handled it all really well. Things tend to work out just fine in the end I think.

I am also a former student who didn't get the grades they needed 15yrs ago. Predicted As and Bs, got CCC (plus a A in General Studies 🤦🏻‍♀️) I just totally flunked one paper in each subject for some reason that pulled everything down.

I went through clearing and secured a related degree to the one i wanted to study (languages degree - i opted for a single honours in a lesser studied language rather than a joint one with my lesser studied one plus a popular one). Passed my degree with a high 2.1. Moved to said country for a few years, had an amazing experience, then came back and joined the civil service as a junior. Within 10yrs am now a Grade 6.

I remember being so devasted at those Cs and feeling like i had failed everybody. But i did a great degree in a brilliant city and was really able to thrive. My career may have been a bit slower to take off but i love what I do now. I hope all the students who didn't get what they needed today will be able to take a few days to reassess what they want to do and then embrace the next chapter 🙏 Such a cliche but sometimes it really does work out for the best.

My son got the points but not the grade needed in one subject… I’m more frustrated than he is.

Feeling for everyone who didn't get what they thought they would. I remember the feeling well! I got CDE and was predicted AAB 😳

I ended up resitting at my local college, then got accepted to a Russel group university. I got my degree and now at the end of another degree in business. I'm also in a pretty successful career for the past 10 years. I'm still awful at exams though and took a bit of a scenic route.

I'm not at this point with my own kids yet but general question - if my child came home with DDU results I don't think I'd be recommending uni given the cost? Do you not discuss a back up plan? A minimum level of achievement below which you question whether it's "worth" the cost to attend? And that they may be better looking into other options?

Of course everyone's right here to point out that disappointing results don't mean your life is over.

But speaking as someone who was predicted AAA and got BBB (all the way back in 1984) I well remember walking out of the staff room into the general area and realising I had to pretend to be happy (because there were people around who were devastated at missing their offers - which I hadn't) when I was feeling absolutely crushed.

I don't imagine life would be very different now if I'd got those three As but I also still feel a sadness that my golden moment never happened. Amongst our understandable desire to comfort our offspring we should also give them space to feel what they feel. They've missed out on the great day, the screaming, the jumping around with their friends, the grinning photos. And it's OK to be sad about that before you pick yourself up and get on with life.

Oops sorry, didn't mean to quote reply on that one! Silly mistake.

we had to take him out of his independent school where he got great GCSEs and enrol him in a local sixth form where he just didn't apply himself.

You didn't do anything wrong by him changing schools, and you 're totally right to hope that his results will make him reflect. He'll need to be able to apply himself without the coaching supplied by a fee-paying school. A local 6th form is likely to have been much closer to the atmosphere of a university - particularly a big research-intensive place like Newcastle, where staff have high expectations of students.

My advice (as an academic) is that he shouldn't rush in to taking any old place at any university that will have him. It might be that a year to focus on learning how to work independently would be a good thing. As you say, they've had a hard time over the last 3 years (haven't we all?).

Would it be possible for him to retake at least 2 A Levels?

But he shouldn't make a decision on the run. It's better he doesn't go to university for a bit, than he goes to any place, just to go.

took a bit of a scenic route

That's a really good way to look at it @Ejk1990 - I often find myself saying to 3rd year finalists, who haven't got exactly the degree results they thought they should get:

that we all get to where we need to be, but usually by a journey we don't anticipate.

particularly a big research-intensive place like Newcastle, where staff have high expectations of students.

Apologies! was mixing up disappointed DS threads .... But my general advice still stands.