DS is 17 and wants to go to Uni Sept 23. What do I do ?

[PurpleDaisy2114]

Just that really. He has an EHCP and is doing really well at College. I know he must apply by Jan 23 through UCAS. He receives PIP. Enhanced mobility, standard care.
He is autistic. Says he wants to live elsewhere. Am not sure where to start in supporting him. Any tips?

Let him sort it? If he's capable of going to university and living by himself, he should be able to work it out.

I believe most universities have a support system for anyone who needs them, but I imagine it will vary. You would need to contact the individual unis. I only have experience with fe colleges and DD lives at home but we were pleasantly surprised at support offered.

Do you think he could live away from home, without a dedicated support person?

Talk to him about what he wants to study, look up courses on the UCAS website, visit open days. The college should have someone who will help with the application process.

Is his college not supporting him with the process? In his situation I would look at universities close to home so that he could live in halls in the first year but then at home in years 2 and 3 if that proves necessary

@ChagSameachDoreen plenty of parents give support to children who have all kinds of additional needs. Why would you just throw your hands up and say 'over to you matey?'.
First of all OP it's great he's thinking about his future. That is a very grown up first step. Get him to engage with his college over UCAS and choices. Crack on with open days in September. You've missed the summer ones but most universities have a second round of open days. As others say look close to home if possible - or persuade him to do so.
Even the most together students can suddenly end up needing support. My DD developed an ED at university (which was at the other end of the country) and that made things quite tricky - although she did engage well with her university over her problems.

Start by both talking to his college about the process, how they support the application etc. Then help him decide what he wants to study and arrange visits/virtual tours of the places that offer subjects he is keen on. Then help him research the disability support offerings of each other thoes universities. Also research social offerings and cultures of the unis (askong for opinions on here is a good way to do that) Make sure he takes an active role in all of this.

I think lots of young people get support from parents as well as colleges. Does he know what he wants to study? You need some idea plus to know predictions for his current studies.
Then I would look at some summary tables eg guardian table for uk unis for maths. From there you can see what unis do the course and look at them online for details and what grades they are looking for. I would then pick some open days to attend and go with him. Each uni will have an office providing support for students with additional needs. Would contact them when you've narrowed your choices down.
Would arrange a meeting with his college including both of you to see what support they will provide.

These sections of the UCAS website may be useful:

www.ucas.com/undergraduate/applying-university/individual-needs/disabled-students

www.ucas.com/student-finance-england/disabled-students-allowance#:~:text=You%20can%20apply%20for%20Disabled,or%20have%20to%20use%20crutches

Think about disabled student allowance via student finance - pays for additional support etc. see what info they n Ed to award as can take some time to get the evidence together.

I think you need to both be honest about what support he might need. Then decide how far away he can be in order for you to be able to support him. Look at the university’s he likes and see what additional support they can offer him, this is often on their website but it is always worth a call. Speak to his college to understand how they support students to apply. Enjoy helping him to find courses that he will love.

@ChagSameachDoreenare you always so helpful?

OP I’d start by narrowing down where he wants to go and plan to attend some open days in September. We did a few in June / July and they all seemed to have drops-ins where you could go and talk about the additional support offered.

Contact student support services at the university he wishes to attend and find out what support they offer eg mentoring is very common for students with autism or learning differences.

Lots of colleges are now offering higher education. You can do foundation degrees and then either do a year at uni to finish or complete through OU or similar.

My ds who is autistic (also has a physical disability) has gone down this route. He wasn't going to go to uni because he can't (won't?) travel alone, cannot cook (physical) and finds organisation really difficult due to executive function being severely affected.

He also had an ehcp (still does but he's finished his t level and the LA obviously just haven't sent me the ceasing letter!)

Worthwhile exploring all those other options as well as apprenticeship attached to a degree.

But if he wants to go to uni specifically you can claim disabled students allowance where you get money to cover what you need which can include things like PA for organisation or travel buddy.

His college will probably run sessions on completing the UCAS application form. Get to him to look at UCAS website and make his decision about preferred universities. See if the university is running any open days for him (and you) to attend. Contact his preferred universities to check what support they provide.

Also think about whether there are any additional life skills. If he has a restricted diet is it one that can be covered in catered halls or does he need to be able to cook for himself. Think about laundry, does he know how to use a washing machine and plan to dry things? Budgeting is also important. These days many parents go to open days so do try to go if you can. Find the student support services too. There is a lot of support for students with disabilities but he will need to know where to ask for it.

Even a child who knows exactly what they want to do and has an idea of where they want to go should still be able to discuss these things with a parent. It is good to have a sounding board. Ds is 19 and still talks through things with us ie his internship ideas for next summer. It also helps us know where his head is at to see that he has thought a lot of things through.

First and foremost, does he know what he wants to study? Start with that. Look at league tables for the best universities to study that subject. From there look at grade requirements so you can count in or discount certain unis. Once you have that then you can look at those universities to see how much support they offer.

Even as a child with no additional needs Ds wanted to be within a certain distance from home which cut out a lot of uni options for him. It means we can get to him relatively easily should he need us there or he can come home on the train.

Even if you can't do a uni open day you can still visit the town and some unis are open for you to walk around the campus or see the buildings. This will help him see the reality of student accommodation location and the buildings he will have to get to and whether he is able. Also his college should be helping and supporting him with his application.

Get in touch with a university that he might be interested in applying for( or encourage him to do so) universities have disabled student support services which help applicants as well as existing students. Even if he doesn't know where he wants to go yet getting an idea of the support available would be reassuring.

-Join the Facebook group WIWIKAU.

-His college should help with the UCAS form.

-Look up open days. Apply for a Two Together railcard.

-Make appointments with the Disability Services departments of the universities he applies for. They will tell you what they can offer. For us, they also asked a load of questions about things we hadn't thought about!

• When completing the Student Finance application, tick the DSA box. When you have accepted offers, initiate the DSA assessment- on the advice of the disability services department of DC firm choice uni we used an assessment advisor linked to that uni. This was so their recommendations were based on what was available at that uni rather than general "this should be an option."

DSA covers software, taxis, printers, laptop, ink allowance, skills mentors.
But it's the uni disability services which sort the right type of accommodation and special exam conditions etc, talk to the personal tutor.

Many universities do Widening Participation residentials which can act as a taster for uni, and a lot include ASD in that - mainly the summer before applying so you might have missed them.

This is the most ableist comment I've ever seen! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does he go to a mainstream college/course?

Can I ask what he’s studying now and what he wants to study?

I think it’s amazing that he wants to do a uni course and it’s very rare that anyone with an EHCP chooses to go to uni.

I work in an ARB with students with EHCPs and uni is very, very different.
My students don’t get homework and the college that many go on to doesn’t have assignments.
Whereas uni you are in classes all day and then need to do assignments in the evening which can be a struggle if no one has done it before.

I went to mainstream school and still found uni quite challenging but I loved it and it’s a great experience.

I would look into what courses he wants to do and what uni he wants to go and speak to the uni about what support is available.

I would also see if there is a foundation course for that degree which is a good way to ease yourself into it.

How independent is he?

Halls sound a better option than shared accommodation and I believe most are catered so he doesn’t have to worry about cooking his own food.

I’d say your best bet is decide what course he wants to do.
Then choose a couple of unis and find out what support they offer and what sort of area they’re in etc and chose that way.

Some great advice and suggestions.

Start with what he wants to study
search ucas to see which unis offer his choice
Make a short list eg based on on how far. A lot of students I work with opt for a couple of hours away- so close enough but not miles away.
Or start with those that are within an hour etc
Check uni website for entry requirements, virtual open days, actual open days
Choose which ones to go to
Check what support is available
some units are great some less so.
He has to complete a Ucas application on line. There’s some info on there on how to.

You could also contact support services/ disability advisors at uni to
see what support is available
Good luck

Some unis will guarantee student halls for all 3 years to some students with needs.

My ds has just graduated from university. He had an old style statement, gets PIP- standard for both, has ASD, OCD and some other issues. He went to a university about 3 hours away from home.

I would pretend it hasn't been a struggle but he got there in the end (and he got a first!) so it is possible.

He had excellent support from his university and that was key.

There is lots of good advice on this thread about researching universities, their disability support and applying for DSA.

Once you have narrowed down what he wants to do, people here will be able to give more specific advice.

Halls sound a better option than shared accommodation and I believe most are catered so he doesn’t have to worry about cooking his own food.

Most student accommodation at most universities now mainly consists of groups of shared flats, rather than the old corridor type 'halls' and more likely at most places to be self-catered. UEA and Warwick, for example, have no catered accommodation at all, although there are cafés on site.

I write having done long stints as both an Admissions Tutor and a member of Mitigating Circumstances panels, to which ND students make a high share of appeals.

He’ll be at least 18. I think he has to try.

You have some good advice above. The main thing, I think, is to keep his expectations realistic. That can mean many different things academically for ND DC, so I won’t presume to give specific advice. In particular I wouldn’t want to limit him. But he needs to know the importance of having a very safe Insurance Choice of uni. Also, and you will be able to assess this better than me for your DS, a number of our ND students struggle a great deal in Y1 particularly if they are living away for the first time. Some unis have Quiet Halls and other ways of accommodating ND students, so you might want to look into that. Will he do best in a private room with en suite? He won’t have that option everywhere.

It will be very, very helpful for him to register with the Office for Students with Disabilities (whatever it is called) in addition to the DSA. This office supports students and, importantly, at my uni sends a rep to each Mitigating Circumstances panel to make sure their students are being treated properly. They are excellent advocates.

Often students are in denial and want a fresh start at uni, all very understandable. But they morph this into ‘it isn’t fair for me to take extra resources’ or listen to so called friends who tell them this. Nonsense.

If he gets the requisite AL grades and can manage his anxieties, he has every chance of succeeding. Usually with ND students the anxieties are the trickiest bit. Good luck to all of you.