DS is 17 and wants to go to Uni Sept 23. What do I do ?

[PurpleDaisy2114]

Just that really. He has an EHCP and is doing really well at College. I know he must apply by Jan 23 through UCAS. He receives PIP. Enhanced mobility, standard care.
He is autistic. Says he wants to live elsewhere. Am not sure where to start in supporting him. Any tips?

Not helpful for the parent of an autistic student.

@ChagSameachDoreen

Let him sort it? If he's capable of going to university and living by himself, he should be able to work it out.

What the actual fuck

If possible go on some open days at unis he may be interested in and make sure to speak to the disability support team. You often get a good or bad feeling from talking to people in person about what support is available and whether it is just words or actions. We got an especially good feeling from Salford for example.

Think about his particular needs and what seems to be on offer at different places.

Others have already advised about DSA so I won't go into that.

Some universities are better than others at supporting students with disabilities. You need to contact them and find out what support is available and how to get it. Different universities will also have different environments.

If its a big university where class sizes are in excess of 300 students, the teachers will not know students individually. At a smaller one, more staff will know by name and be able to offer more personal support. It depends what level of assistance is required and what is a better environment. I've seen autistic young adults thrive in the right place for them.

He needs to tick the DSA box on his application which will trigger an opportunity to be assessed for access arrangements, study and practical support. DSA is part of Student Finance but the arrangements are administered by the university Student Support department. If you are visiting any unis it is worth asking to meet the support staff and asking what they might be able to provide.

The better schools ask to see the draft UCAS personal statement by July by the way so don't think this will all happen in Jan 2023. He should pick his subject by now and start drafting a draft personal statement for the school to check in September and the best schools get applications in well before the deadline - usually by about half term 2022 (unless Oxbridge which is even earlier).

He needs to pick 5 universities and the same course at each, ideally and work back preferably from what job he wants to get the right degree to an extent for that job. If he is bright then he should go to the hardest university to get into as that will make it easier to get jobs later.

Sorry xenia but I have to correct you there. Your advice may be correct in general for a neuro-typical child but sometimes the "harder course/university" can be counter productive for an ND child. Not always but there are so many factors to take into consideration.

I found from experience that it is MUCH better for a young person to be in an environment that caters to their needs and they feel comfortable and able to learn than one which is more prestigious but has a my way or the highway attitude with too much pressure.

If he wants to live somewhere else, does he just mean not at home so in halls or a shared house etc or does he mean the other end of the country?
If it's far, maybe look at his transport skills, is he comfortable getting on long trains with multiple changes if that is relevent, can he drive, is he happy working out bus routes for himself.
When he knows which uni, and where he will live, maybe visit a few times to get familiar with the area and transport links, where shops are and things like where the closest hospital is, pharnacy, 24h supermarket etc
Then also his personal skills- does he cook and clean for himself? Is he able to call people on the phone to arrange a plumber or to contact a landlord by himself. If not yet, then you could maybe spend the time until he leaves preparing him for these things.

@Xenia, @Comefromaway I wouldn’t go so far as to say it is a rule of thumb that ND students underachieve, but my sense is that most of ours struggle to study effectively and complete their work even though they are intellectually capable. They are substantially over represented term upon term in Mitigating Circumstances petitions. Living at home seems to help but OP’s son doesn’t want to do that.

Perhaps this is a way of agreeing with @Comefromaway that ND students, like all students, need to be comfortable in their environment to thrive, but find this comfort hard to come by.

There's some support you can acces through this...

www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/transition-support-service

From my limited experience of 2 ND dcs at university I would say that poetryandwine's observation is spot on. Both have had to use mitigating circumstances several times. Ds's ultimate class was as good as it could be but he only scraped it and purely intellectually he was probably better than that. He went to the university which felt most comfortable and which seemed to (and in fact did) offer the best support.

Dd, although she has a different profile from her brother, has also struggled at times. She has also had good support from her university. We moved to her university city (for many reasons not just to support her) and living at home has certainly helped.

We took DS to a couple of Uni's just for a walk around before the whole process started.

It had come up in conversation that he didn't know what a Campus Uni was and we're lucky to have one closely so we just went to look around.

Wow so much advice- thank you all. He is doing Psychology, Criminology and Law combined BTec. He's talked about working in mental health, has a real social conscience and also scores highest in the Law part.

When you go with him to Open Days, while he's at a subject lecture or demonstration, you should go and have a chat with the student disability support people. You'll find them around Student Services, or Student Wellbeing different universities call them different things).

Then you'll have some information about support available. But in my experience, students who are HFA manage quite well

As long as they ACTIVELY take up opportunities for support.

The national autistic society has a page on starting college or uni, so start there for what questions to ask.

Once he has a medium list of where he’d like to go academically, you can check out their support systems.

Then go and see a shortlist, it’s really important he goes and meets support as well as academic staff. His gut instant will tell him a lot. He can then make his final selection from there.

His current college should be able to support the application process so talk ri them.

It’s always nerve wracking when kids leave home, especially when ND, but he sounds like he’s many great strides, so try and swallow any fears.

He should lead, but he’s only 17 and has more to think about than most teens, so act as his support and sounding board to make sure he asks the right questions, but don’t take over.