Thoughts on your child's graduation ceremony?

[TooHot2022]

Recently had DS's graduation ceremony at a Russell Group uni.
It was well-organised by the uni in a nice venue (not Southampton!!), the day ran smoothly, we took lovely photos and met some of his friends. All good.

However, DH & I later both remarked on a number of things we observed:

• lots of students looked like they'd made no effort to look even slightly smart/tidy.
• family/audience response was quite rowdy for some students - more like a football match
• A handful of students were disrespectful - almost ignoring the Chancellor then using their walk across stage to 'perform' in some way

We got the distinct impression that for many of them it was some sort of 'game' which they didn't value.

By way of contrast, all the international students were impeccably dressed, great interaction/ social skills with staff etc and seemed to be really valuing and enjoying the occasion.

I don't know, it just kind of made me feel a bit sad. Like British students don't really value our academic institutions, and yet international students can't get enough of them?!

Just clapping for your own child is rude, but clapping for every individual is too much in my opinion. At my graduation I think there was an exponential decrease in applause as we got through the alphabet and everyone was losing the will to live by the time we got to about P. The Ys and Zs got fairly loud applause though as people got their second wind when they realised the end was in sight.The last Z definitely got the loudest clap of the day!
I have been to a few awards ceremonies where the audience has been asked to clap at the end of particular blocks eg at school speech day they ask for applause after each year group. That seems a more sensible approach to me. It's polite, but reduces audience suffering to a more acceptable level.

I agree with you OP.
We were at dc's recently, and watched the live stream of their partner's.

Overwhelmingly, people dressed smartly and behaved as you would expect. People enjoyed the ceremony and tradition of it but there were a small minority who didn't make the effort to dress for the occasion and there were a small minority of people in the audience who whooped and behaved inappropriately.

If you think it isn't important, or it isn't your thing, then there is no compulsion to go to the ceremony. It makes no difference to your degree - it is something you opt in to. So why opt in and then not dress up / follow the dress code ?

The 'whooping' has filtered into all sorts of places though - it happens at the theatre far too often now as well. Just seems to indicate that more and more people think their 'right to do as they like' trumps the right of everyone else around them to be able to enjoy things in peace and quiet.

One thing surprised me this year, that I haven’t noticed before; parents not clapping except their own child.

Wrt my earlier post - sadly, I was actually surprised that this didn't happen at DS1's graduation😕

This was the graduation ceremony for his MSc; due to a catalogue of minor disasters, for his BSc at another university he ended up bring graduated in absentia. DH and I still travelled up to his university city, where he was working, and took him out for a nice meal and watched the ceremony on my phone. If the names of those being graduated in absentia were read out, it must have been during the short period when I lost connection.

Given that DS1 was also upset by all this, wild horses would not have kept me away from this year's ceremony.

We had a fantastic day at Warwick. University put on a great event. All students and parents/supporters made an effort and it was a lovely celebration. Was glad we went. Had debated not after a 2 year delay.
I don’t think you can generalise. Graduation and what it means to family and friends is very individual and you can’t know most people’s circumstances.

@RampantIvy graduates had to kneel to get tapped on the head by the chancellor with a 400 year old hat. They actually got given their degree certificate off stage.

Which university is this @Wbeezer?
DD wore some strappy sandals to go on stage. She would have struggled to kneel and get up. I have attended 4 degree ceremonies now and have never been to one where the graduates have to kneel.

When I graduated in 1997 we had to play a version of Sticky Toffee where four graduates held on to a finger each of someone or other in authority, and then I think some kneeling and bowing was involved. Just looked it up and it appears this still goes on.

Saw some fabulous strappy shoes on the girls but after a day walking in them sons girlfriend said her feet were in a terrible state. They're used to trainers and boots bless them 😂😂

DD wore flat sandals to get to the university @justasking111, put her strappy sandals on for the ceremony and photos then changed back into her flat sandals. I don't think many people are used to heels these days.

They had a Northumbrian piper playing at the beginning and end of the ceremony.

When I graduated (a long time ago) I had to put one knee up slightly on to a low bench in front of the Chancellor who then tapped my head while someone else put the hood over my head from behind.

This.
you have no idea what some pupils have had to go through to get to that ceremony. My DS struggled for years with MH and alcohol abuse and to see him walk across that stage made me cry with joy and a usually sedate me stood up and shouted “Go on my son!” I was so proud of him and didn’t care who knew it.

@NoLongerATeacher Good for you and a whoop! whoop! to your DS.

Try sitting on stage all day as part of the uni staff for more than one ceremony wanting it to end asap with students choosing to dance, cartwheel, take selfies and generally act like idiots- it’s dire! What makes it worse is that the families that scream shout and whoop make it impossible to hear the name of the next student so they loose out due to those who are not able to behave in an appropriate manner in what should be celebration of everyone’s achievement! It’s a traditional ceremony and those who want to enjoy the opportunity to celebrate their achievement are often overshadowed by those who see it as a self indulgent showcase!! Enough said!!!!

@TrianglePlayer

We were not impressed by Southampton. Impersonal, struggled to get a drink no reception afterwards no opportunity to say goodbye to staff, recorded music. I've been to two and Southampton did not shine. The gowns were flimsy too

DD1's graduation was lovely and very well organised. Northern ex-poly, lots of very proud parents, grandparents and partners, and pretty much everyone dressed up. I did notice that some of the girls looked like they were going clubbing, but it's actually quite hard to find decent women's clothing inbetween Phase 8 sensible and micro-skirts. There were a couple of posthumous awards given out, which was really quite moving.

Thankfully I remembered plasters and emergency flipflops for DD1. Her heels were beautiful and matched the dress perfectly but she absolutely wished she'd worn flats as with sore feet, a sore head from the cap and prickly heat from the gown that didn't stay on her shoulders she was feeling quite overwhelmed. Her younger sister graduates next year and has already worked out that she'll wear something with pockets and buttons, and flat shoes!

I wouldn't begrudge this year's graduates anything, poor kids. Whole of uni through covid.

I got a text half way down the M4 thursday night, did i have any plasters for friday!

There is absolutely no way I'm doing the stage walk in heels - I never ever ever wear heels! Unless you want the fat old bird student to go arse over tit halfway across. I'm always really impressed by the heels some of the young ones manage to function all day in - but we have a hell of a walk from where gown hire is to the venue (so it'll be a bumper day for the Uber drivers).

The two at Bristol my twins attended in April were lovely. Everyone - UK and abroad people dressed up. My objectiong having been to a Bristol one about 13 years before were they no longer read out your degree grade presumably because students are nowadays too weak to be subjected to the fact someone did better than they did! It was also in the Wills Memorial Hall which is lovely too.

That's a bit harsh having degree classifications read out. DD achieved a first, but I still don't agree that they should do it.

They read out the grades at DD2's Masters ceremony at LSHTM last week, @Xenia, I was really surprised. Being a Masters it was 'distinction', 'merit' and 'pass' rather than 'First', '2.1' and '2.2', but they were called up in grade order – we felt it was rather brutal, but at the end of the day a Masters is a Masters.

@Wbeezer's and @AppleHa 's graduation descriptions are of Cambridge (or Oxford, but I think Cambridge). All in Latin, no certificate given until you are out the door, very quick, no clapping, lots of hat doffing and finger holding. I was in for quite a surprise when I attended another graduation and found it was HOURS of clapping plus some really tedious speeches.

Mine was Cambridge but I think @Wbeezer's might have been Edinburgh with the hat

I didn't realise some places actually gave certificates out at the graduation. Ours came in the post weeks, maybe months afterwards regardless of whether you attended the ceremony or not and my DD's was the same.