Thoughts on your child's graduation ceremony?

[TooHot2022]

Recently had DS's graduation ceremony at a Russell Group uni.
It was well-organised by the uni in a nice venue (not Southampton!!), the day ran smoothly, we took lovely photos and met some of his friends. All good.

However, DH & I later both remarked on a number of things we observed:

• lots of students looked like they'd made no effort to look even slightly smart/tidy.
• family/audience response was quite rowdy for some students - more like a football match
• A handful of students were disrespectful - almost ignoring the Chancellor then using their walk across stage to 'perform' in some way

We got the distinct impression that for many of them it was some sort of 'game' which they didn't value.

By way of contrast, all the international students were impeccably dressed, great interaction/ social skills with staff etc and seemed to be really valuing and enjoying the occasion.

I don't know, it just kind of made me feel a bit sad. Like British students don't really value our academic institutions, and yet international students can't get enough of them?!

ha yep. Though to be fair, she also sounded like a crashing snob about everything else too so it wasn't totally unexpected.

Dd changed her heels by the time we had got to the stadium. It was a long day.
Dd had been working a year as well and did think twice about going , but was really glad she went

DD's Masters graduation last week at LSHTM and the vice-chancellor positively encouraged fellow students to whoop and cheer in his introductory speech.

Ceremony itself was in a fantastic old building, everyone dressed up (lots of women changing from sandals to heels for presentation), all very respectful. I do think this cohort have had a tough time of it with the pandemic, wonder if that has encouraged an element of relief in addition to the feeling of achievement?

What difference does it being Russell Group or not make?

We’ve had 2 delayed and one on time graduations this summer. All similar - students dressed up and there was a great sense of occasion. We didn’t whoop or cheer, but loved it when others did! Also enjoyed department drinks before/after and even a graduation dinner for one!

We were part of the arts so fashion and media some very colourful students fashion wise. Some danced across the stage to the chancellor. It was a joyous occasion. They've put it up on you tube so overseas students who couldn't attend could see remotely

Very similar. I was at one last Friday and we were actively encouraged to whoop and cheer by the Chancellor not just for our offspring but for everyone whose name was called, as some are international students or for whatever reason their family cannot be there. The loudest cheer (and we were forewarned) was from the university choir when one of their members was called.

I'd have found a graduation ceremony where no one clapped or cheered, a rather joyless ceremony, to be honest. It's a celebration, not a funeral.

Oops I whooped and cheered at both my children's graduations last one 2 weeks ago. They loved it. There were quite a lot of whoops and cheers. Made it more interesting.

I have been to around 30 graduations. One of my favourite things is the seemingly random cheers and whoops. Sometimes it’s a proud family but often it’s classmates doing the cheering. This can be for a particularly popular student, but sometimes it’s one who has had a difficult time, which is lovely. I love it when someone who I think is quiet and not a social leader of the class gets a huge cheer.
Our dress code has hugely relaxed over the years, but I do think that plain colours look best, and sky high heels are a definite mistake for walking across a highly polished platform. We have a lot of kilts worn which look great and other National dress. I don’t think they would allow very unsuitable clothes but they don’t exclude people for not wearing a black skirt and white blouse like they did in my day.

I found that the way students are dressed under their gown varied depending on the subject they’ve studied tbh.

I have made it very clear to my children that graduation is an entirely optional thing. They can go if they want but they are under no obligation to do so.
My DD went to hers but it was a small specialist college, so it didn't take long and we got quite a nice buffet. (It was outrageously expensive though.) The students were polite and dressed nicely. Certainly no whooping or performing on crossing the stage, and the speeches were listened to respectfully. It was ok, but I wouldn't have been bothered if she'd not gone. She enjoyed getting dressed up and having a last afternoon with her year group though.
My DS is going to a largeish mainstream University so I expect the graduations are protracted, pretentious and tedious like mine was. I doubt he will go. He never went to anything like prom or speech day at school and I'd anticipate he will view graduation in the same way. I won't put any pressure on him if he doesn't want to. I gave into emotional blackmail from my parents to attend my first one (I didn't tell anyone about the second) and I hated it. I'm not going to do that to my children.

How can you hate a graduation - it's a happy time, yes can be tedious but surely you'd want to mark the achievement- very strange.

Presumably, the expectation of a superior sort of graduation? That it should keep up the standard of the RG origins? The now Kimpton Fitzroy London Hotel is quite swanky, you know, though the food outrageously overpriced for what it is IMHO (but I expect the university bigwigs got some kind of corporate deal on their coffee mornings back in the day). Thus making the disappointments all the more disappointing, I suppose.

surely you'd want to mark the achievement
Not particularly no. I believe academic success is it's own reward.
But if I was inclined to celebrate such things, spending hours packed like sardines in a baking hot hall wearing a stupid hat and a musty gown with bits of dead animal attached to it whilst listening to a mealy mouthed minor celebrity and watching vast numbers of people that I didn't know walk across a stage to touch a rolled up piece of paper wouldn't actually be that high on my list of preferred options.

Get off that fence @MrsAvocet and tell us what you really think!

Please tell me that nobody whooped or cheered when their DC’s name got called out.

There were three girls sat in front of us who whooped and cheered for several students in one particular group.
At DD’s ceremony everyone had made an effort to look smart. There was a suggested dress code, but it wasn’t mandatory, but it was a big thing for the students. A lot of students were also carrying bunches of flowers.
DD hated her graduation and was anxious and nervous about it until it was all over.

Why were people kneeling @Wbeezer?

because it’s long and tedious?

I love graduation, as do many of my colleagues. We genuinely enjoy seeing our students finish their time with us, in an absolutely stunning setting. We go every year, sometimes twice. Students enjoy it too, as far as I can tell. It’s the last event for them with their classmates.
One thing surprised me this year, that I haven’t noticed before; parents not clapping except their own child. It is a community celebration, you should join in.

I went to a great graduation, it was amazing, international music groups played by students at different points in the ceremony, students collected their certificates in batches so the boring bit was dispensed with reasonably quickly. Excellent keynote speaker. Fab food after.
by contrast I went to a red brick Russel group graduation and it was totally dull and unimaginative, hundreds of students trooping across the stage, some classical music, not even sure if it was live. It was like a Sausage factory that hadn’t changed for centuries.

the people who organise these things should have a look at the wedding threads for inspiration. Or start up a graduation thread to find out what the punters value.

We've just come back from our ds graduation at a (whispers) Top Fifty university, and the whoops and shouts for the students were brilliant. Everyone clapped all of them and the joy from the parents and students was wonderful.

My DC graduated from Soton last week. The ceremony was great and as it was a super graduation ( 20, 21, 22) we'd still be sitting there now if all the names were read out. Instead the names ran along the bottom of the screens. It was a lovely ceremony, plenty of whoops ( what's wrong with that ??) and everyone happy to even get an in person graduation after Covid. Additonally they laid on a grad village with music, and drinks afterwards. And free shuttle buses to the campus for official photos. Thoroughly enjoyable and given the heat an outdoor stadium was a fab venue.

Sounds lovely! I imagine it was probably one of few venues that could do the job in Soton. I've had OU exams in there before..the conference rooms are actually quite nice too!

Perhaps these particular students didn't feel valued by their institution ?

Perhaps they just wanted to express themselves or show joy at their achievements?

You do know the Chancellor is just some minor dignitary/celebrity ...who actually has nothing to do with their studies whatsoever?

One thing surprised me this year, that I haven’t noticed before; parents not clapping except their own child. It is a community celebration, you should join in.

At DD's graduation they asked the audience to clap for everyone not just their own DC. As the hall wasn't very big the ceremony was only 45 minutes long, so our hands didn't get sore.

I graduated in 2004 and we all cheered each other from our course. There was about a 50% drop out rate so I think we were just all relieved to make it through. It was a fairly posh university (red brick, rg etc) but I can't remember anyone caring, and if they did they hid their judgement well. Currently doing a post grad but don't think I'll bother with the graduation, feels like a lot of effort.