Bristol or UCL - home or away?

[foodledoff]

DS hasn't yet decided on his firm choice and needs to do so this week but the need to make a decision is really stressing him out and he's disengaged from it all.

He has offers for an MSci Physics at both Bristol and UCL. The courses are pretty similar, but the UCL offer is 1 grade lower (AAA versus A*AA). He went to the offer holder day at Bristol and really liked it, but unfortunately the UCL day clashed with his first A level exam so did a 'virtual' day instead, which was, of course nothing like the 'real thing!'

He has an autism diagnosis (Aspergers, back in the day when it was still diagnosed) and suffers from anxiety, which has got significantly worse in the run up to A levels. We recently spoke (couldn't see...) the GP who was pretty dismissive along the lines of 'everyone is worried at the moment...' so no help there.

Ok, so here's the big thing. We live on the outskirts of London and UCL would involve living at home with an approx 1 hour commute. On the plus side, this seems the 'safe' option for someone suffering from anxiety. But it wouldn't help him develop his independence (he's quite clingy - offloads on me and DH alot, feels he needs to run everything he ever does (including planned revision for the day) past me before he does it), and there's the worry that he'll see his friends go away and feel he's missing out. I've just a feeling he'd come home for his tea and never go out, not join any societies etc - in short, not really moving on from where he is now.

And Bristol could be fun - in fact it could be the making of him - and it's still only a few hours away...When he does talk about University (which isn't often at the moment) it's always about going to Bristol, suggesting that deep down it's his preference?

Is anyone in a similar situation or have experience of this - which could be best - Bristol or UCL - home or away? Writing this down makes me think UCL is the 'sensible' option but is it? Thanks

My twins' friends from when they were at Bristol are all mostly in London too as that is where the best jobs are. I don't think it really proves going to university in London is better or worse. There are pros and cons to each. All my children simply avoided London because we live here and wanted to experience a different City for 3 years - that's all but as said plenty of people live in London and go to London there and certainly do not live with parents and it works out fine too.

Whether this moving to London to work trend of many decades will stop now so many of them are working from home in their expensive London flats is another matter. I still think they want to be there and their friends are there but it will be interesting to see how it pans out. Probably they will all continue to prefer London for a few years at least and then when having babies have to make the decisions my daughters have about whether to stay in London or move away for cheaper housing, bigger gardens etc (who so far both are still in London with work, husbands and children).

Ah Needmoresleep, think maybe you meant TizerorFizz and not Xenia, that makes more sense.

Though as the OP has since said her son has made Bristol his first choice, I’m not sure that pointing out that many prefer to stay in London over Bristol is especially helpful?!

Ok! DD found her first year at Bristol tough going. She was in a party flat but on a course with early starts. Since then Bristol has been fine, though not somewhere she particularly wants to settle. In part because it has the feel of a University town which she has outgrown. She applied to London, which she probably would have preferred but did not get a place.

With the exception of some areas of finance there are lots of good jobs outside London, with the added benefit of lower living costs, something that is likely to increase as move Government departments relocate. I think what Crafty Gin was trying to say was that she had been worried about her son going to London and he had liked it so much he wanted to stay....ie supportive. Perhaps it was Tizer, but the subsequent argument was a bit of a non sequitur.

In terms of Londoners at Bristol, very few from DDs school went, and bar one of two who live in outer zones, none of DDs wider friendship group seem to come from London. Lots from Wales and N.Ireland, and plenty from the North/Midlands as well, obviously, as those from the SW. It probably does not matter, but I know some posters worry that Bristol is very London/private school centric.

Perhaps it was Tizer, but the subsequent argument was a bit of a non sequitur

This is what I’m puzzled by, there was NO argument