2017 seems so long ago, now .....

[Xenia]

Continuation of our previous thread.

Well done to the bigT daughter and good luck for next week.

Well @Needmoresleep DD

That should be well done @Needmoresleep , which clearly I also need !

Both twins are working from home today so "heating wars" have started again (one wants it on and I want it off as I am the one paying for it)..... We have just compromised on "extra hour" although as one has driven to the gym at lunch time he will miss the one hour of heat so I am not sure my son picked the best time for extra hour. I am just not cold enough to want it on regularly yet for the winter.

The huge changes due to the impact of the pandemic on some office workers' working lives ie regular working from home are very interesting. It is actually quite nice to see children working from home as you are more involved in their lives 2 days a week. My father a doctor maed sure all his career he came home for his cooked lunch - they ate the main meal at lunch time and I was one of the few going home from school for lunch until I was aged 10 and then from about when I was 12 he u sed to see patients at home from about 2pm - 10pm twice a week so his working life was kind of more apparent, bit like those doctors on Harley Stree hundreds of years ago who lived above the shop (as indeed has my law practice as I have solely worked from home since 1994).

The downsides are you certainly need bigger houses and use more electricity gas and even things like loo paper when a few adults work from home quite a bit.

Thank you @Riverpebble There are several medic mums on this thread. When DD was in sixth form, making yet another sports injury related trip to A&E the junior doctor told her to make the most medical school. Things get a lot harder after graduation so best to pace yourself rather than swot too much. As it is work, even hard work seems to suit DD. She likes the responsibility, the earning and the independence. As long as she can manage the weird hours and lack of sleep she will be fine.

People often think the getting into medical school is the challenge. And the prevailing mood is to focus on aptitude tests as a primary means of selection rather than volunteering/work experience, results and interviews, on the grounds they are more equitable. Swatting for aptitude tests is easy compared to being an F1. Resilience is crucial.

DD's year are much luckier than earlier years. The sister of a friend of hers who was graduated early at the start of the pandemic has wound up with PTSD. Hospitals during Covid were awful. She is now working as a locum but is seriously burnt out and career plans are on hold. DD was particularly lucky, as far as any young people were, as she had already opted for an intercalation at a University close to home, so spent a year studying online. Because there were so few distractions she did really well. It was more difficult for those actually trying to learn clinical medicine in hospitals during lockdown.

Xenia, your DC would not like our house. We are reasonably contentious about doing our bit for the environment. Buses, trains or hire cycles instead of the car. (I tried an electric scooter recently which was fun, but scary.) Minimise single use plastic. And keeping the heating off as long as we can. Last winter I think our bills were less than the government subsidy. I can recommend Icebreaker thermals, and yesterday I bought myself a DryRobe. I am aiming to swim in the sea through the winter (though not that confident I will make it) and discovered at the weekend how important it is to warm up quickly afterwards. Even if I don't swim the DryRobe, fingerless gloves and a woolly hat could well become part of my December indoor wardrobe. I have got to the age where I don't care. That said we are flying to DS' graduation so I can't really claim any moral high ground.

Great to hear about all the new jobs and compare all these doctors and lawyers' experiences. Ds is certainly jealous of the salary his London lawyer friends are getting compared to his strike- affected starting wage as an F1. He's just been grumbling to me about how as soon as he gets paid, then he has to pay out most of his wage on boring things like council tax and water rates. Welcome to grown up world sweet child!
Luckily he seems happy in his job and is still enjoying actually being a doctor most of the time. He's dealing with working under two consultants who are complete opposites. The first doc, ds is in complete awe of because they are incredibly knowledgeable, have extremely high standards and the whole system runs as it should when they're in charge. The second consultant frankly sounds dangerously bad. They don't turn up for ward rounds or handovers, arrive at work late, never visit their patients, and won't make decisions or contradict their own plans and then get angry if anyone asks for clarification. The junior docs get flack from everyone else who's frustrated with the chaos. Others have already complained but unfortunately for ds this consultant is his academic supervisor for the whole year so it would be very awkward for him if he raises any issue.

His timetable doesn't sound anywhere near as onerous as your dd's @Needmoresleep He's only doing about 1 weekend in 4 so he's had plenty of time to get a footy team going, visit friends and be visited by others.

I pay the twins about £23k so their trainee lawyer salaries are probably less than doctors at this stage (although I am certanily not saying the doctors have an easy time (I have a doctor sibling and my father and uncle were doctors))....... However there are certainly trainee lawyers in London on double that at the big firms.

One twin signed ihs contract today for his job when he qualifies early next year, so that felt like quite a milestone for me (he will be off my hands) as I was also picking a photo from when he was about 18 months old for his age 25 birthday card - the twins' birthdays are coming up soon. What a long way they have all come.

Tonight is quite warm so no heating wars going on as on one wants it on - but useful advice above. Thank you. My son had a friend to stay last night and my older son was staying (and he is tonight as is a different friend of my son) so quite a full house with only one day this week when neither twin was working from home. My son saw what he said as a very young GP last week (who was very good) who he said seemed to be just like he is and about his age which I suppose illustrates how much older they are getting where instead of the doctor being a very much older person he might be his age.

I hope everyone is doing fine and their children (I am not letting the thread die until early next year when the twins qualify as solicitors)..... Their cousin started university this term and they have 3 other cousins still in higher education.

The twin with the NQ job from early next year has started the in -house role or is about to in the department where he is seconded ( it is a maternity cover fixed time job with a lot of foreign calls etc so some late days but nothing like as bad as in a big law firm). Other one needs to start job hunting for newly qualified jobs next year but that is up to him. I suppose he might want a few months off but I would have started looking already were I he. They are both working from home today so as ever in these post pandemic times their work is much more "present" in my own working day (I have worked from home since the 90s).

DD is thinking of going back to a masters after crashing out of hers during covid. I’m not sure whether she’s really thought it through. Time will tell.

It’s good to see how everyone is getting on.

Good luck whatever she decides.

At last DC has properly graduated having waited all summer for results delayed by strike action. Plus has reached that state of being grown up as asking us advice and guidance on how to do things.

Congratulations to the fiftiesmum child on the graduation.

Plus has reached that state of being grown up as asking us advice and guidance on how to do things.

I'm minded of that Mark Twain quote:

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

How's it all going now ?

Next week I am going to see DD for the first time since she started work in July. There seems to be lots she wants to show me, and we will take a couple of days out and see some countryside. She seems to have fallen in with quite an outdoorsie lot, so she has acquired an interest in open water swimming and walking. Interesting. Though work is demanding she seems very happy.

DS is applying for jobs, indeed he seems to have applied for even more jobs than Xenia did when she first graduated, effectively worldwide. He is lucky in that economics is a subject in demand, but even so it is tough for young academics to get their first foot on the ladder. His six year PhD funding pays for a year of job search so he is able to take it seriously. Some interesting places have been mentioned but too early to start planning future holidays. If will be nice to have two employed and earning. We will feel, finally that we have graduated from our parenting roles.

Other than that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. During lockdown it seemed sensible to borrow money to buy my brother out of the estate, essentially my parents flat. There was a tenant who was using Covid protections to stay (even though she was using the flat as a second home) and it was starting to look quite complicated, with legal bills were racking up, so we thought we were better off taking ownership, allowing probate to be settled and then sorting things out ourselves. The tenant has gone, but property prices have fallen and interest rates have gone up so it is not looking like such a good idea. Then in September the property management company folded. It looks like fraud, the police are involved, accounts are locked, we have no access to our records, and I become de facto property manager. It took about a month to identify our suppliers and to sort out new service agreements. Then...Storm Ciaran. Water coming into every top floor flat, and the water table rose to historic levels flooding our lift shaft. I am hoping the insurers will pay, as it is a huge amount. Not what I planned to be doing with my life. I am quickly becoming expert on statutory requirements for residential buildings.

Oh god @Needmoresleep, that sounds awful.
Good to hear that your DC are doing OK though!

Oh dear Lord, that sounds awful @Needmoresleep. Inherited property sounds nice but can be a curse... DH is hopefully close to selling a small shop and flat (the last remnant of his grandfathers business) but it's been decidedly unpleasant with a tenant threatening physical violence and then leaving 3 fish under the oven as a parting gift... we didn't find them for a fortnight.

DD is continuing to thrive with lots of work and play in good balance. The risk is she stays with her current small company longer than she should for career progression.

@Needmoresleep that's very stressful for you. But the main thing is you are all ok and the kids are thriving

DD is now a month into her post-grad scheme job. She has found that more money and status equals longer hours/full time in the office. Welcome to the real world!

Thanks for the updates. The flood and tenant situations sound difficult but I am sure everything will be sorted out okay in the end.

Good luck to the economist applying for jobs. I have sometimes worked with those who specialise in one of my areas of law but that is a fairly niche area for an economist and I have not used one for years.

All well here. Older son is staying for a few days so all 3 sons are out at the cinema tonight. I like it when the 3 brothers can do things together. One also had a friend to stay here last night - just as well I have 5 bed rooms.
One of the twins has the work Christmas lunch tomorrow (where he is seconded).

The twins and I have been doing some formalities to start their process of being admitted as solicitors - screening, ID, criminal record checks etc. but all being done in plenty of time for January.

The cutest 1 year old currently alive [in view of its grandparent] continues to thrive and all my 5 children and 3 grandchildren will be here on Boxing Day so I am very happy. It is hard to get all 5 together these days.

Keeping the flame [thread] alive until the twins qualify in January. I hope everyone is well and their adult children now in the world of work.

The twins' admission process as solicitors is underway and as long as there are no admin problems at the last minute will be done in January with one of them then looking for another job as a newly qualified (NQ).

How is everyone else doing?

Yay!

DS' 205 job applications have now gone in. It is like UCAS on acid. His finger slipped at one point and he ended up selecting a University in mid Europe rather than one in the Southern US. A nice city and a good University, but one he assumed would be looking for someone with a more EU academic background, so he left it, thinking hard about reasons why he would want to teach there and bigging up the fact that he has a GCSE in the language spoken there. Amazingly they have come straight back with an interview. I hope they don't test his GCSE language skills.

I think the tally so far is five interviews and one rejection. The next challenge is to be on form when is is interviewed by Australians in the middle of the night. It is quite exciting. We are delaying making any holiday plans until we know where he has ended up.

DD loves the city she is in for her foundation training. It is as if she has found her place and her people. The hours and the work are tough, but her colleagues are supportive, probably more so than they would be in London.

Good luck to the son making applications (having to do some at night must be hard).

Hopefully the GCSE language job one wn't put the language skills to the test, although one of my sons went to Paris for a long weekend 2 weeks ago and I was joking about how useful wash is GCSE French and he said it had actually been a help and that being in the country and having to speak it a bit made it much easier. I got my annual Christmas letter from the only other girl who did German A level with me at school last week who ended with her British husband living there - she must have used it every day of her adult life in huge contrast to my German although a fair bit of mine is still embedded in my head.

I am glad the need daughter likes her city.

Paris son just got back today from another long weekend this time back to his university City so lots of memories. He was the driver for the 3 night trip so I think he is quite tired so I am leaving him alone to rest in our nice warm house as he has work tomorrow.

I also saw the best toddler currently on the planet (grandchild) at the weekend.

Oldest son comes to stay next weekend for Christmas who is currently applying for jobs/trying to decide next move, but I don't think he wants our ideas. Since he was about 16 everyone in the family has wanted to find him a job or advise him.

Happy New Year and thank you for your company since 2017.

Like Xenia, we are almost done, in DS' case after a decade in HE.

So far he has had a reasonable number of Zoom interviews from Universities on four different continents. Like any job search you just need one, but in the meantime there will be some anxious waiting. The next step is "fly outs" so he could be busy flying from one place to another. Ideally he would skip the next few months and fast forward to knowing what he is doing next. From what others have said getting that first graduate job is often like this.

DD sounds fine. Busy with both work and social life. No strikes where she is, so no chance to come home. The next step, in about 18 months time is for her to apply for specialist training, which can be seriously competitive to get onto. In some ways it does not seem to end, though my parental involvement has. It was a long haul.

Good luck to all of you and to your DC.

Thanks for the update and good luck to the son doing all the interviewing.

Although being a parent never ends, it does feel like the end of an era for me. One twin is about to apply for newly qualified solicitor jobs - both twins qualify in just over a week when his secondment ends and the other twin has his job which is going fine. "The Bank of Mother" closed on 31 Dec 2023 after almost 40 years (other than I still house, but do not pay for food for, the twins). I will certainly post if the other twin finds a job in the next few weeks. I think he will. He apparently found a very nice colleague who spent 2 hours on a videocall to him today explaining about the different legal work in her department (they are both in-house at the same company) to help him with job applications which is very good of her.