Probably a dumb question - but where do you find the money from to support your student DC?

[Wowzers71]

Hi

Eldest DD is 17 and will likely be heading to uni in Autumn 2023 (assuming she doesn't stuff up her exams). I'm only now starting to get my head round how the finances of this might work. DH and I earn over £65k a year so DD would only get the minimum loan, and having had a wee look on several threads about money on here it sounds like many of you are paying around £600 a month on accommodation for your DC. That seems like a lot of money!
So how do you afford it? Are we just rubbish with money? I just can't think that we will be able to drop £600 a month without really tightening our belts. And we've got a younger DD too, so there's no way I'd be able to support them both. Am I missing something? Or should I brace myself for "the porridge years...."?

Well we paid out of income. We had more disposable income as things like gas/electric/food/petrol (for all the lifts) stopped so that helped. Three of the 4 worked for a year before they went and lived at home for free and saved. They all worked so paid some themselves and then used the loans. So it was a sort of mix and match approach.

@Maggiethecat
it really depends if they are driven by money. DH was. Always has been. Still is! I think that’s why his parents didn’t pay up. They knew he had talent and it saved them the effort. However it’s not acceptable to just say “over to you” and opt out. DH came home to find a new caravan on the drive. Following year, a new car.

Don’t assume you can pay from income on a month by month basis - much accommodation needs paid on a termly or even whole year basis!
we have enough savings to get started then should pay off the mortgage before dc2 so will have that money.

That’s why Ds will need to use his loan to pay the majority of his accommodation so we can pay our contribution to his maintenance monthly.

@TizerorFizz - I wonder chicken or egg - was he always like that or did their attitude toward money concerning their dc inspire that in him?

Rhetorical of course!

@Maggiethecat
DH was an only child. They didn’t have anyone else to think about or pay for.

i didn’t know him at university but, by the time we met in our early 20s, DH was career and money motivated. He was definitely wasted at his job when we met. I have to say I admired his determination and when he qualified very early as a chartered engineer and then went into business partnership with someone whom he worked with during holiday vacations, I did think he would be successful. He wanted it more. He also had the ability to do it. His parents thought he was mad.

We manage because Good income, plenty savings & mortgage free for ~ 18 years. I dunno what other parents do, but I know people in council houses with kids at Uni, so a way is found.
It's easier for kids with parents on lower incomes as they can borrow the full amount. We pay from income, 9k for rent next September which is pretty cheap where he is,thank God it's only for one more year!

Being able to afford the savings is a big part of being able to afford parenthood in the first place.

If one is scraping from day to day it's probably not a good idea to procreate.

I just really wish schools would have HE evenings for parents from year 8. Stressing importance of setting aside money every month. Many parents just don't realise how much they are expected to contribute until DC is in year 12 or 13.

We pay from income, couldn’t afford to save regularly each month from birth.

there are definitely some savings each month from DS no longer being at home (no school lunches, trips, his part of food bill etc.)

it’s a struggle but I’ve just temporarily upped my hours at work (obviously you can only do this if you’re part time), but that will probably give us an extra £1k which covers 2 months for DS. It will be cheaper when he’s in private accommodation next year.

When DD was offered a place at an independent school (she had passed the entrance exam and we had hoped for a bursary) we declined the place and used the money we didn't spend on school fees towards supporting her through university. So we had 7 years to save.

I would have thought that given the publicity university fees and maintenance loans have had that parents would know that there will be a cost involved unless their DC can afford to subsidise themselves by working.

@RampantIvy, I agree that in recent years there's been a lot of publicity about the cost of university, student loans, etc. but I would argue that it wasn't the case (and even if it were would parents of babies have been tuned in to listen to it?) when our DC were born, necessarily.

And the loan amount varying so markedly dependent on parental household income, is certainly not something you'd be aware of necessarily. I only knew, ahead of DC1 being university-bound age, because a family friend has a DD who is four years older and I was somehow in the loop of her application.

It's a bit like most parents seeming to be super strategic nowadays about where they move to, in terms of access to the best state primaries and secondary schools. I'm really not sure that was such a thing when we were at that stage. It certainly didn't cross my mind when DC1 was even a toddler, and I'm considered quite a pushy parent by some (but clearly not really).

but I would argue that it wasn't the case (and even if it were would parents of babies have been tuned in to listen to it?) when our DC were born, necessarily.

You are not wrong @LouisCatorze. The increase to £9,000 per year occurred just before DD started high school, so I was aware that we would need to take this into consideration. I also knew because DD has older cousins and my sister discussed the tuition fees and maintenance loan situation with me, so I always knew that we would have to subsidise DD through higher education as due to health issues she is unable to study and work.

TBH this is something I other posters always point out when posters on MN ask whether they should have more children as they never seem to be able to envisage how expensive teenagers and potentially student DC can be.

DD1 went to uni in 2010 on the £3k fees. DD2 went in 2013 at £9k fees. So everyone has known about fees for 10 years. It’s also been widely publicised for decades that maintenance is means tested. I used to manage the Awards and Grants section at our LA in the 80s. Parents with average incomes have always paid!!! It’s folk lore to think everyone went for free in the past. So how this notion of free maintenance has arisen I’ve no idea. Other then parents becoming ostriches! As I said above, DHs parents in the 70s didn’t pay up. It’s very poor that parents have not considered this much earlier. The information is widely available.

In the area I live I’d say the expectation at the time my kids were born (they are 18 & 20) was that most kids would NOT go to university , heck most wouldn’t even stay on for A levels, so it would not be on many parents radar.

Things have changed a lot in recent years so it’s taken parents by surprise. There are a lot of people here who earn good money (think tradespeople who have been successful) but who know almost nothing about higher education. So they probably moved to a bigger house with larger Mortgage etc withiut realising they’d need university money.

Yes, I guess you have no idea about how expensive young people are until your DC get to the teenage years. Thank goodness for Mumsnet to give everyone a 'heads up'!

We have a bit of a gap with our DC (just how it worked out rather than planned that way) but I'm so thankful that we don't have them overlapping in their university education. It's been doable with DC1 but we've certainly not been generous with how much we've given them.

We have family friends who on paper would seem comfortably off (possibly not by MN standards thoguh). You wouldn't think it if you met them though (a lot of their income is tied up on a mortgage secured in their 40s). For various reasons (although there are a couple of years between their DC), they will have them overlapping in their studies for two years. It's been a struggle for them helping one, let alone two. But because they seem reasonably well-off on paper, even the various bursaries available to other applicants aren't available to them.

I'm not convinced that most people (even those who'd been to university themselves) did initially 'clock' that the student loan amounts were income dependent though. Yes, certainly grants were. But I think the initial spin around the new loans didn't make that explicit? And/or you'd think that the same rules would apply as was the case with the old style grants. So one child at uni from affluent family background would only get the minimum but that two or more in uni overlapping, from the same affluent family would get considerably more grant each to factor for the considerable extra pressure put on family funds?

How can you say that a family on a combined income of say £70K gross, can afford to find the student loan shortfall of £6K (roughly) per DC for two or possibly three, easily?

Ds1 is 18 and he got the CTF which was very heavily marketed as “saving for university” so it was definitely a “thing” as far back as that. I think most people do know, but, like pensions, it’s a job for another day. People from areas with very little progression to university may feels it’s a problem for other people. People who assume their dc will definitely go also assume that they will manage just fine because all their peers do. Loads of people (me) assume in their 20s when they have a baby that they will earn more in their 40s and their mortgage will be relatively smaller so it will work itself out that way. What tends to happen is income goes up so you move to a more expensive area (better schools - better for the dc) and run 2 cars (for the dc - so they can be taken to their extracurriculars), have a few holidays (it’s good to spend family time relaxing. They can talk about their trip to Paris on their UCAS). I don’t think it’s so much that people are clueless, but that they want to give their children good experiences etc in the first 18 years too and deciding not to move near a good primary for your 3yo so they don’t have to work 5hrs a week in McDonald’s as an 18yo may not seem as sensible at 3 as it does 15years later when you are lamenting that the student loan company has no respect from your monthly payment. All hypothetical as I’ve never been able to afford to move or go to Paris etc but it is what I see amongst my better paid peers

Dd moved out at 17 and has had no help from me, I have nothing extra to give her.
She's starting Uni this year, after three years of college, her BF doesn't get any help either, they live together.

But parental contributions have been around since at least the 1980s, I got no grant in the 90s due to my parents' earnings so the fact parents are expected to pay is nothing new.

Also, if you really cannot provide financial support at whatever income, as a parent you can sign the student finance paperwork to state that you will not be providing any financial support to the applicant. This entitles them to apply for the full amount of support (which is not massive, so consider this option carefully). Obviously that means that you must not continue to support them financially alongside, even a little bit as it’s then fraudulent.

@signsofsafety, I'm not saying it is new but the student loans are not as accommodating to families with close-in-age siblings going to university with overlap (I'm given to understand that there is very little difference – a few hundred pounds? – in the amount loaned to the first child to go and then subsequent ones in the same family also at university, with study overlap between siblings). The grant system was fairer in that respect.

Some of our older DC now at uni are too old to have benefitted from the CTF. And it wasn't around for very long, was it? Three to five years tops?

@LouisCatorze my DS is 19 and we had a CTF account for him. Plus I was aware of university costs having gone to university.

My point remains. Whose responsibility is your DC's Uni education? If you believe it's yours then supporting your DC until they no longer need support should have been factored in when planning families

I didn't need to sign anything for college, or upcoming Uni, but I'm assuming that's because Dd can prove she lives independently.

@signsofsafety
The local authority gave finance to students based on income from the 1960s. It was never free to all from this date. Many parents paid.

Also, if people earn well and buy bigger houses what excuse do they have about not paying? I don’t think trades people are all stupid and cannot find out about university just because they didn’t go to university themselves. That’s rather assuming they are not very motivated and think their children are not aiming high. That’s ridiculous. Most parents do find out but some find out a bit late!