Probably a dumb question - but where do you find the money from to support your student DC?

[Wowzers71]

Hi

Eldest DD is 17 and will likely be heading to uni in Autumn 2023 (assuming she doesn't stuff up her exams). I'm only now starting to get my head round how the finances of this might work. DH and I earn over £65k a year so DD would only get the minimum loan, and having had a wee look on several threads about money on here it sounds like many of you are paying around £600 a month on accommodation for your DC. That seems like a lot of money!
So how do you afford it? Are we just rubbish with money? I just can't think that we will be able to drop £600 a month without really tightening our belts. And we've got a younger DD too, so there's no way I'd be able to support them both. Am I missing something? Or should I brace myself for "the porridge years...."?

For the poster mentioning making choices (mortgage and other children), to note that when a lot of us made those major life decisions, young people weren't getting in debt for their university education to the same tune as they are in 2022!

Also, although wealthier parents have always had to pay towards their DC university education, the old system was fairer. So a family with two or three DC at university simultaneously would have their income divided by three to determine payable 'grant'. That really seems fairer than a system that barely acknowledges that two or three young people from one family at university at the same time is going to cost their parents (potentially) three times as much in terms of financial support, not just a little bit more.

The system sucks in its current form.

each dc has a bank accpunt that the tenner from relatives for birthdays/christmas go into.
this will go towards living cost at uni for them, us topping up if needed.

Certainly am not smug
I increased my hours to support them and have absolutely no regrets
They all worked in the summer holidays but not term time
Eldest 2 in very full on courses
My money,my choice,each to their own

My kids had part-time jobs in Sixth Form which were flexible enough to have increased hours in school holidays so working at university was no shock to the system.

My dd is on her gap year right now and will be going to uni with several grand back up money. She plans on a part-time job and holiday work to fund luxuries.

She has been trained to cook frugally and has modern life skills like knowing how to return internet shopping, using coupons and discount codes/sites like UniDays.

Don't forget that you can redirect money that you used to spend on your child. So if he has say gym membership then that can now go to him for uni, same goes for food costs- the food that you don't have to buy can go to him.

Thanks for all the replies - there are some really good points made, and things to think about on this thread. We don't pay school fees at the moment (kids at state school) so I think that's partly why I'm worried about the money. But @OutlookStalking - you are right, we can, and will, make economies with our household income. We still have a pretty large mortgage - but there are definitely economies we can make elsewhere.

I'm also encouraging DD to pick a uni in a cheaper town / city. And I've told her she will have to get a job (this is a big ask for her because she is very very shy, but she's going to need to get over that eventually). Even a couple of hours a week could be enough to help out with her food bill. Fortunately she already has the cooking skills! She's a pretty good cook and knows how to cook from scratch which helps.

Also we've got a year before she goes off - so there is still time for some more saving.

A lot of people near here - their kids go to local universities and live at home
So many lectures are online and they're only required in for afew hours a week and so it's a waste of money paying for accommodation
It's bad enough paying fees for 3 years when realistically the degree could be done in 2!

I went to a local university and worked throughout. I’d like my daughters to have the choice

Don’t compromise on university. Always aim high snd go to the best you can. It might be cheaper for you and they might have a smaller loan, but you could seriously dent job prospects, and lifetime earnings. This also depends on course but it should be considered.

I don't understand this - I was student grant era and never got one as the household income was too high (both my parents worked in schools). It was means yesterday all those years ago so in that way the system hasn't changed at all.

I'd managed to build up a bit of a savings pot (about £2.5k) since our mortgage was paid off (we earn about £65k pa between us too) and was just starting to wonder what to earmark it for when it struck me 6 months before my son was off to uni how much we needed to top up. I worked out how much my half of 7 years was going to cost (two kids, one doing a 4 year degree) and I now put aside £320 every month on top of the original savings to pay it off in 5 years. That means I can stay a bit ahead of them! I am managing to save another hundred a month too for other stuff.

We've ended up paying rent for our eldest, with him covering everything else with his loan.

We're not at that stage yet but have savings for it.

I worked throughout college and paid for my living expenses, rent etc. My parents paid the college contribution (in Ireland so no fees). The contribution has gone up so much since then though, it'll be like paying fees.

I would expect the children to work during the summers (almost 4 months off) and a bit during term, depending on what they study. We have a few colleges within commuting distance. If they suit, it'll be a big saving.

Totally agree with this.
Not all students, but certainly the students we are talking about on this thread are young, and don't have childcare responsibilities.
They have energy and drive and should have no problems doing all this.
These are supposed to be the most capable 40% of the population.
Mine all worked during 6th form, paid for their own driving lessons, volunteered, all took part in things they belonged to (different for each of them), and all learned skills such as time management and budgeting as part of it.
Giving them everything on a plate doesn't help them to grow into the best young adults they can be.

Some of the less well off / bigger families I know, the kids had to take a year out between school and college and work and save for the year.

4 years between my dc so we should only have one child in college at a time!

Apprenticeships are an option too.

The research does show that kids who have to work through their degree to support themselves are less likely to do well. It’s one thing to have a part time job, but in many places without parental support you would need to work long hours.

I was lucky enough to get a full student grant but still had work a lot because my parents couldn’t help and I wanted to live away from home in later years. Poverty is actually not all that character building really.

Can you link to that research for us please @Villagewaspbyke

You actually wouldn't have to work undoable hours.
Even if you were on min wage (£6.56) and got no tips, it would work out at 15 hours a week if you worked 50 weeks of the year, which is doable (as I know both my dd and her partner did, and they came out with a 2:1 and a 1st) and my younger dd is doing now and she is on track for a 1st....which I accept is anecdotal, but it is also pretty typical amongst most of their friends, and was when I did my degree and was when my dh did his degree.

Of course, you wouldn't have to do that every week, because in all the holidays, you could work a normal working week, and thereby reduce the hours you work in term time. Many people of course will earn much more than that - through tips, through working in a supermarket, or most retail where they now pay more than min wage.

@Kite22
All of that really depends on the degree and whether the shortage of money that makes a real difference.

From what I can see, DC on a full loan are ok. They can often get a bursary too. £2000 extra sometimes. So they have in excess of £10,000 tax free. For most, that’s good enough and they don’t need to work. Although some choose to.

DC with the bigger problems are where DCs parents should pay but don’t. These DC have always had a printing. DH in his 60s had this issue. Only child, both parents worked but did not tend over the money. It destroyed their relationship. DH worked in the holidays. Term time was too busy as he studied engineering. However this holiday work was related to his studies and led to a fantastic work opportunity a few years later which proved to be incredibly lucrative.

I also cannot understand people saying that the change in loans has made a difference to parents. The coats have increased but parents who earn decent money have always paid. Parents don’t get the loan so if fees are £3k or £9k, it makes no difference to parents. Parents have always needed money for maintenance. So it’s not about rule changes, it’s about having your head in the sand when planning larger families. We have always believed we have paid for our choices. However your DC are far better off if you are a single parent on a full loan and a bursary, unless you are a well off parent and can give them plenty of money. Families with normal incomes have to plan for years and it’s always been the case.

@TizerorFizz - “Only child, both parents worked but did not tend over the money. It destroyed their relationship.”

I don’t know the background but it would be heartbreaking for any child not to have parents’ support if they could have helped. However, he fought for what he achieved so good on him!

@Kite22 - we are in a position to help our dc quite a bit but we want to consider carefully how much. I would like them to do well in their studies but also to work a bit to supplement their income and learn how to budget time and money.

Dd took a gap year and has worked before she starts uni this year and we haven’t been supporting her financially. I think she has saved a bit but we haven’t had the conversation yet of exactly how much 🤔

Savings earmarked for uni since they were infants. I thought this was commonplace.

For us it is definitely much cheaper than paying private school fees. So, we can afford the £500 p/m out of salary. We also have to sub the rent at £1,200 per term. However, DD is feeding herself, paying for the gym, paying for train tickets, paying for clothes, and toiletries. We don't give her anything extra at all. AND she is saving a bit too, which we don't mind at all. She has also just got a job over Easter, and earns about £70 a day in a cafe, she loves it, it gives her confidence, and of course, she feels she is contributing to her life. It is completely flexible and she will work there in the Summer there too.

We starting saving the day dc was born. grandparents tend to give small gifts at birthdays and Christmas and put money into the savings account as well.

Our DC have both got savings but we didn't save the money for uni but to help them on the other side of university life!

As you suggest, it’s one thing to have a part time job to fund the extras but another thing to have to totally support yourself whilst in full time study. It probably does make you tough but reckon that it sucks.

Savings earmarked for uni since they were infants. I thought this was commonplace.

Depends who you mix with. I mean, by definition, that would mean you had to have had spare cash each month from when they were tiny. I know we were completely stretched when our dc were small, and, after paying childcare, we were counting every penny.

Totally agree @Maggiethecat . It would suck to have no financial support. I remember my older dd saying to me one year that, even on a week when she "felt skint" and it was a beans on toast dinner rather than eating out, she knew that ultimately, we would be there as a safety net and she would never be homeless or drawn into expensive loan shark situations, unlike someone who she had made friends with.
I have inferred the OP is talking about not being able to fund the whole difference between min loan and full loan though, rather than not being able to provide anything.

@Kite22 - yep, it’s the knowledge of that safety net that provides some peace of mind.

It’s also what makes me wonder how driven dc will be to make up any shortfalls 🤔