Uni of Bristol- is it very spread out?

[NCTDN]

Dd loves here and would put it as her top choice for uni in September. However, she's led a very sheltered life and I worry that she will be totally lost ( not necessarily physically but pastorally) in Bristol. It didn't have the same feel as a campus (obviously) and with everything being so spread out, I worry if there is the same sense of community. I was very impressed on the open day with everything about the uni but can't allay these fears. I know it's not my choice btw.
Please share any experiences of there.

she would be restricted to benefits, or anything else you mention in your post as a possibility for what a "sheltered" person means

Not my definition of sheltered at all. Just my ways of explaining that not all kids want to, or can afford to, go out three or more times a week.

FWIW DD grew up in central London and took a gap year which involved holding down a couple of lowly paid jobs in France and the US. So almost the opposite of sheltered. And yes plenty of drugs in London except by sixth form they had sorted themselves out into friendships groups partly based on preferred lifestyles.

Cut off in Stoke Bishop with 11 strangers, several of whom were 18 and away from home for the first time was hell. As you say "vast majority of 18-21 year olds do want to go out a bit, dance, drink and socialise" and some of these will be insecure and immature. Easy then to pick on the one in the flat who has stayed in whilst the rest of the group head off together for another big night out. Interestingly after my DDs emergency move, she bumped into one of the boys in the flat who actually had no idea the extent to which not being part of the gang had tipped over into bullying. DD was boring because she did not take drugs or go clubbing, a "lesbian" because she played sport, and so fair game to deliberately go into her room at 3.00am to ensure she was woken etc. It was horrid, and there was not much she could do beyond moving and risking a repeat. Most of the others then went off to share a large house in the second year....and had a massive fall out presumably as the differences in lifestyles became more obvious.

There are other Universities where social life can be more about sports, clubs and societies than about clubbing. DC (DD recently spent and intercalation year at Imperial) found London student life more open and varied and from what people say non-clubbers are not unusual at Oxbridge. Horses for courses. Which is why threads like this are potentially valuable.

@Needmoresleep - I'm very sorry that your DD had that experience at Bristol. That does sound miserable and unfair and I hope she is much happier now.

I think all of us on this thread are probably at risk of saying that "Bristol is like this or that" based purely on our own individual experiences or those of our children. I don't recognise the types of people your DD encountered, or her experience of Stoke Bishop/Bristol, but of course I don't suggest it didn't or couldn't happen. I just think it could happen almost anywhere - people can have a wide variety of different experiences even within one hall of residence, let alone one city.

So as much as I'm so sorry to hear about your DD's experience, I'm reluctant to accept that Bristol specifically is to blame for it. Incidentally my husband also went to Bristol and he says he knew and was friends with plenty of people who weren't the "going out" types but still got involved in the "community" in other ways and had (as far as he was aware) a great time and no major problems.

Also worth mentioning that I had the impression Bristol was awash with clubs, societies and other activities. You don't need to fall into either "going clubbing" or "joining a club" if you see what I mean!

You've also mentioned lack of cash twice in response to what I've said so I should probably address that in case you're drawing a conclusion about my circumstances from my saying I went to clubs regularly as a fresher! Bristol is definitely on the more expensive side in terms of uni cities unfortunately - that just is what it is, so cost of living will need to be factored in to OP and her DD's decision wherever she goes. Personally I had a student loan and part time jobs throughout my three years at Bristol to ensure that my parents didn't have to pay my way. My flatmates were in similar positions - no-one came from a very well-off background. I made some great friends through those jobs too.

Nights out also weren't that expensive - as gross as it sounds to my older self now, we would all buy the cheap cider from the shop down the road for 99p and get "merry" before we went out, so that we only wanted a drink or two and some chips later in the night 🙂 Not saying that drinking cheap cider is something to aspire to obviously 😂 but I do need to respond to the potential insinuation that I or others were regularly dropping ££s on nights out, potentially excluding others with less money in the process, as that certainly wasn't the case.

I was just reading this thread with interest. As a parent with a child at Oxford where the college system means there are usually more staff around, I wonder how much the lack of a warden in halls has allowed more excessive behaviour to go unchallenged recently at Bristol?

They have security. However my understanding is that security do not intervene unless there is a complaint. And the fear is that if you complain not only do you piss off your flatmates, but if drugs are found you might all be considered responsible. Potentially disastrous for law or medical students. In DDs case problems were compounded by the fact that her course did not offer personal tutors, so nowhere to turn.

In the end the GP running her GP placement kept her back and quizzed her on what was wrong, and essentially gave her the adult support she needed to set the wheels in motion for an emergency move.

Lots of students have a great time. But there can be a dark side. A friend running student accommodation elsewhere felt 12 relatively young strangers together was too many. That security needed to be proactive after midnight for everyone’s safety, and that good links were needed between accommodation and the university with students being aware that very poor behaviour would be reported to and auctioned by the university.

Oxford is clearly very different. A friends, perhaps untactfully, used the ‘but at Oxford…’ to point out the various layers of student support available there. Bristol is quite different. They have now bolstered their central welfare support, but this seems aimed, or at least the perception is, at students with mental health issues.

I am certainly sorry anyone has a bad experience at Bristol. The 3 of my children who went there did not and had a very good time. I remember at Manchester in the 1980s I had loads of problems with noise at night in a flat of about 12 of us - self catering university flat (they did not offer me catered as I'd requested). I even wrote some poems that were published about noise at night in a university magazine - not that that that stopped the noise. I went to bed early. I used ear plugs. It is very difficult however for those of us who need sleep and like to go to bed early. One girl in our flat of 12 had to leave by Easter of our first year as she had spent most of the year in her bed room with her boyfriend with such a drug problem she had to leave the whole university. We used just to ignore her as she hardly ever left the room as far as I remember.

Lots of people like Bristol and do not have trouble there. One of my sons was at Churchill Hall (and his twin and his sister were at Wills Hall) and had no problems and made friends for life.