Thanks for this thread! I also have a yr 12 DS not yet sure what he wants to do where maths and comp sci are very much in the picture, so this discussion is really helpful to me.
OP - Maths/FM/Physics + 1 other would seem highly appropriate for your son given the BMO performance you've referenced (especially given that this year's BMO2 has yet to be sat so he's done exceptionally well at a young age). I would not expect Maths and FM to be anywhere near 2 A levels' worth of effort for someone of his ability.
I get the impression that an EPQ is potentially least relevant for maths applications; but I do think there are some useful aspects to the process. My son is doing your DS's proposed subjects and an EPQ relevant to computer science (after much pushing to settle on a subject - I recognise the "not really interested in anything just yet" problem!). Now, his school doesn't offer computer science A level so he didn't have to make that choice, but he would have probably done music anyway. (hasn't completely ruled out applying for music)
I agree that pursuing a maths degree requires interest in the abstract; some of that can be gauged by what your teenagers are interested in talking about maths-wise, there is so much they can get access to online nowadays it is totally different to when I was their age and beyond bored with school maths before I chanced upon olympiad style work (got asked to sit a training selection paper, don't know by what route, a few months after the IMO had been held IN MY COUNTRY! and I'd never heard of it before ....)
For parents who don't have a lot of knowledge of maths, if your child can start telling you about stuff that seems to have nothing to do with maths-as-you-know-it, that's probably good sign that they might enjoy university maths!