Durham University

[KingscoteStaff]

The continuation thread for those with DC at Durham, or applying to Durham, or alumni, or staff!

January 2022 finds our DC packing their big coats, checking the forecast for snow and wondering when Michaelmas actally is...?

Assemble!
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@Wordlewobble thanks she’ll go small then

@GoldenRuby ooo they didn’t have second hand option at Snow but sounds like a good idea 👍

How’s he finding pre-season? Oddly shaped ball training?

DS is currently at pre-season training and wanting to withdraw all together. Really struggling to get any answers about next steps from the various emails we’ve contacted.

Unsure about what to do. 😰 40% of hall fees if leaving early is a lot in catered accomodation. He’s asked about deferring but no reply yet. Really frustrating that no student support is available until enrolment when he’s already there (and too far away for us to do anything practical).

He has a single room allocated but we’ve not yet paid the deposit. Hoping to get a reply soon.

@WorriedAboutDurham sorry to hear he’s not happy - is this something specific about his experience during preseason or is it a change of mind about the course or Durham?

It seems to be everything! Doubts about being good enough for the sport, doubts about the course, the uni, the country.... Sadly due to Brexit it's a U.K. university or nothing.

DS is currently at pre-season training and wanting to withdraw all together. Really struggling to get any answers about next steps from the various emails we’ve contacted.

That's sad to hear. My son's been at preseason training (it's a month's programme before term starts) but perhaps a different sport (he's doing hockey). They've gone to a big effort to make him feel welcome and assigned him a second year who's been cooking for them.

My son's coming back from Portugal today then back up to Durham tomorrow (they're staying at Stephenson until their rooms are ready on the 14th). Please pm me if I can help in any way.

@WorriedAboutDurham I have PMed you!

The rugby standard is a shock - half the first team have contracts! To put it into perspective, DS played in his (high level rugby school) first 15, was in the County set up until Year 10 and played Club rugby all the way up. He played for the Durham 4s last year.

That’s a shame @KingscoteStaff probably a bit overwhelming. Durham also have college teams of all levels. Sounds like he’d definitely be in the 1st team of those if the DU team is a bit much.

Oh yes, @WorriedAboutDurham , Inter-College rugby (played under floodlights on Friday evening) is super popular + pulls big crowds!

@WorriedAboutDurham I’m sorry to hear that your son is struggling. Has he managed to get in touch with his college welfare team? Are you able to say which college it is? There is quite a lot of support available if the student is willing to access it although I can appreciate that sometimes it is hard to bring yourself to do so as you can be feeling very alone and vulnerable. I also find it hard to be believe that it’s too late to even defer or drop out without having to pay 40% accommodation fees. I don’t know anything about preseason training. How does the university know to invite people to the preseason training?!

I don’t know anything about preseason training. How does the university know to invite people to the preseason training?!

For the hockey, you had to contact the captain and provide details of the highest level you'd played at. I gather there's still the freshers' trials for those that didn't do that though.

It's all rather better organised than when my husband played Uni rugby and it was more about whether you knew the captain (Hatfield students were at an advantage for that). Slightly randomly, he was competing with Andrew Strauss (England cricket) for his place. Unlike my husband, clearly Andrew had multiple talents...

@worriedAboutDurham so sorry to hear that you DS is not enjoying himself so far…but it might be a whole different vibe once all the freshers arrive. It would be a shame to write it off on the basis of his preseason sport experience - lots of kids don’t continue with sport once they get to Uni, or do it for “fun” (I.e. play for a college team). I suspect that it’s all quite serious at Durham as they play in the top leagues.

Thanks. I think (I hope!) he's being made welcome. He just feels that a lot of the other freshers know each other already and feels on the outside between sessions / meals. They're in halls which is good but means he's alone a lot. Last weekend he went to stay with GPs, not sure what he'll do this weekend. We don't have anyone within 4 hours...

Do all the colleges have teams of varying levels? DS was worried he'd been allocated a college that wasn't particularly sporty.

I think we've now had it confirmed that there's nothing to pay if he withdraws at this point. However I'm not sure if paying the £200 deposit means we are liable for the 40%.

We have tried to contact so many people. In fairness the rugby setup have been super helpful.

The uni welfare support doesn't start until he's enrolled. We don't seem to be getting replies from the college welfare team. We've had nothing from our emails asking if deferment is an option. He has a GP appt locally on Friday.

We've now got 7 days until the deposit is due....

That's what I'm really hoping. He's missing the international vibe he's had over the last 4 years and I suspect that will come from his college / course. 🤞

@WorriedAboutDurham my other kids didn’t go to Durham but the first couple of weeks aren’t always easy.

My DD went to a very selective grammar and this experience of your sons sounds similar. She was the only girl from her large primary that went there. She found the first week tough as private prep schools got 5-6 girls per school in each year so many kids knew each other they were friendly but there was a banter between them that she wasn’t familiar with and made things difficult. After 3-4 weeks she was super happy and had made a great mixture of friends but that first week in a new place without old friends was tough.

@WorriedAboutDurham DD was at Collingwood which is sporty. She wasn’t particularly but played for the college netball team in a lower league but loved it and ended up being captain by year 3. So yes as I understand it, there are A, B, C, D and E teams .

Looking at the "theDurhamStudent" account on TikTok, it goes right up to an N team (maybe further) for football.

@WorriedAboutDurham although I don't have direct experience of pre-season training (DS is about to start 2nd year at Durham but only plays college rugby) I would caution about your DS judging the Durham 'experience' when the term hasn't started. DS went to a serious rugby playing school, he played 1st XV but didn't even contemplate Uni level rugby. He was reallocated pre arrival to a college he didn't choose (and would never have listed), to a shared room that he also didn't choose. End result = he absolutely loves Durham, he threw himself into college level rugby which comes with all the enjoyment and very little pressure. He can't wait to get back there and start his 2nd year!

I wonder if I worked at the same school? Mind you there are probably lots of similar schools! Near a big 🍩?

He hasn’t enjoyed the first few weeks (months) at his last two schools but things did seem to get better. Currently he’d probably say that wasn’t the case! ☹️ We certainly missed the depth of his MH difficulties at the start. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. It’s hard to know how much to push when you’re not there.

I wish I could see into a crystal ball to know if this would be DS in a year or two. I am so happy for your DS. It gives me hope. But do we force him to start the course against his wishes?

It isd a pity he cannot just wait a bit as he probably will be fine once teacying starts and freshers are there. He could surely withdraw from all sport for a start, go home until start of freshers week and start again from 17 September?

Yes I was thinking that, why don't you get him to fly to you on Friday and fly back for start of term?