Are your DC enjoying their degree/university experience?

[Cranmer]

Just that really.

I have met up with various family and friends over Christmas and only one said their DC is enjoying their degree.

The ones at RG universities (in all years) say their DC can't wait to finish and are not enjoying their degrees. University being the best days of your life is certainly far from the truth.

My DD finds her degree a slog and would happily give it up tomorrow! But don't we all feel that when we face challenges? DD will finish, but their is no way she wants to go onto do a masters.

My last one is at uni and she is absolutely loving it. The ones who have graduated loved their universities too.

I think their academic studies were a means to an end but the extra-curricular was what defined their experiences.

My son is loving it but I brought him up to be independent and he’s naturally chilled-he has a part time job

My sd is finding it a slog and is struggling-her mother treats her like a baby-she’s 19 and never been allowed to touch the kettle and never cooked anything more than toast
She refuses to get a job and is finding out that money really doesn’t grow on trees

I think it depends on personality to a degree

DS1, who couldn't wait to go to uni absolutely hates it, and so do all of his friends apparently. Quite a few dropped out in the first semester, the online platform just didn't suit them.

Way before covid (20 years ago) I found that uni didn't really live up to the hype. I had a mixed experience - enjoyed some elements a lot and made some good friends - but didn't enjoy the lack of structure (I did an arts degree) and I was definitely happier and more fulfilled during my a levels and later at work. It wasn't a life highlight for me, though some particular days/weeks/ nights out are good memories

My youngest graduated this autumn and while the last year was very difficult year on account of the final project demands, she admits now it was absolutely the best course for her. She didn't do a masters, none of my kids did one directly after their primary degree. They had been thinking of it, were looking at masters which were follow ons from their primary degree whereas now they have a few years experience behind them, they are now thinking of masters in different areas - more like MBA or Project Mgmt type stuff.

Both of mine seem to be enjoying university.

DS is in year 4 and loves his subject (physics). He is sad at having missed so much time actually at Uni so prioritised having a bit if fun this term. Fortunately he can. Some friends on 3 year degrees spent half their time at home.

DD has just started and also loves her course (Earth Sciences). She didn't have the opportunity to study Geology at A level so it is all new.

Both have made friends so, so far so good.

Mine has only done a term so far but is totally loving it - the course and the learning and the social life! Dc2 went to visit and now can't wait to go too...

DD is loving her whole university experience. Now second year and doing everything she would have done as a first year if COVID hadn't happened. Enjoying her degree very much and fully embracing her social life, especially connected to music society.
Absolutely the right thing for her despite the first year challenges!

Surprised to hear that OP. My DD loves it as do all her friends who went this year.
I only know of one person who dropped out and that was to do with the course so will return next year

My DS is in his first year and is loving it. Gets on well with his flatmates and is really enjoying his course. He is in a small cohort though which means that 2 of the 3 modules he studied this semester were taught entirely face to face. It might have been different if more was online.

DD in her first year and seems to be having a great time now after a shaky start

She is enjoying her course and has a nice group of friends who are mostly in same accommodation

Its very early days obviously but I wouldn't be surprised if she opts to do a masters/PhD straight after her degree

A common thread for those not enjoying university (amongst family friends' DC) is that they chose their degrees based on what they were good at during A level but have no idea what they want to do in the future. They find the lack of direction/structure hard. Indeed, one DC has 4 A stars (pre-covid) and is in her final year of her degree and says it is like wading through treacle and can't wait to finish. She has no idea what she wants to as a career.

DS loves his degree, has a passion for the subject and knows what he wants to do. He is not as academic as DD, but she does not have a passion for her subject, just is good at it.

My DD is at Oxford and honestly if she had her time again she would choose another university (unless she had been pooled to a different college). Her friends at other unis have ended up with the same types of job offers as she has and without half the stress, People say the college isn’t important at Oxford but that isn’t my DD’s experience. The college makes a huge difference to your experience there. With hindsight I think she would have gone to Bristol which was her second choice.

Loves the partying and experience. Endures the academic side.

Takes after me, many years ago.

DD1 struggles massively in her first term (2019 intake) but grew into it and has loved it ever since. After graduating she wants to stay on in her uni town and find work there, save up for a Masters and carry on in her field.

DD2 (2021 intake) has loved it since day 1 despite being really far away from home. She's got virtually no contact with her flatmates but has a really good group of friends on her course that she's going to live with next week. Loves the course and the socials and is happier than I've seen her in years.

The academic side is the payoff for all the fun she's had this term. Her first year in 20/21 was ok but a bit of a slog. She is devastated at the thought of everything going back online again, which I fear it will (not studying in England). She has been much more engaged academically when learning in person.

My dd is in her first year at Nottingham and is having the time of her life but I suspect that’s more to do with getting absolutely bladdered every night and going clubbing till 5am most nights rather than anything to do with the work….! Amazingly she’s still doing very well with her course but it’s definitely more about the whole partying / socialising experience for her.

My DS is at a Uni which is working hard to keep Tje Uni experience with f2f lectures as soon as they could. He’s getting on ok.

2 godsons at Scottish Unis have both dropped out - they can’t cope with the 100% online

A cousins daughter doing a low contact course also hates it and on point of giving up.

I have 2 who are students (although both post grad now) and 3 who graduated. Of the 5 four very much enjoyed it and it would be the friends they made, relationships for life, fun they had which made it what it was. One of mine says he is glad he did his degree but he certainly did not take much part in university life and in years 2 and 3 drove from our house for his lectures and did not really take part in the social side.

I enjoyed my time at university too - it was wonderful to be away from home, have a bit more autonomy over my life, I had a really good time with all my activities (even sang abroad on tours with a chamber choir - okay that one is not something everyone would understand but it was fun and I suppose it is being part of a small group doing an activity you really like and seeing new places) and I also enjoyed my law degree, the academic challenge of it etc. All these years later I still enjoy law every day.

In covid times the periods when students have been confined to rooms and with clubs closed and mask requirements will have meant it was not great for many of them for those periods but that has not been a full 12 months so no one's whole university time has been ruined. My twins had a full academic year of a law conversion course 2020/21 which was 100% online and they met no one other than a school friend who was on the course. That was pretty awful but they did well academically and I am very glad that this academic year 2021/22 so far they have been 100% back to in person seminars (although they and many others on their current law course have chosen to do the exams proctored/observed from home via webcam which has remained an option rather than in the exam hall in part because they prefer to type rather than handwrite exams).

DS1 (at Cambridge) and DS2 (at Oxford) are really enjoying their second years at uni. They hated having to do the second term of their first year's at home, however but perhaps because of Covid-related restrictions, have been even more determined to make the very most of everything that university life can bring and did this to the full in their first years too. They're working hard and playing hard and already doing as much as possible towards their possible end-goal career paths.

They've even thought beyond that possible career choice to the kind of lifestyle they might hope for in the end - possibly a combination of a professional career plus further academia. I think having an idea of a career post-uni, helps them both to see this stage as a stepping stone to the future and so they're engaging a lot in various extracurricular activities and societies at uni. that are giving them other life skills for their careers. Of course they may end up not doing careers/ jobs that they're currently thinking about but having some idea of this already does seem to help them to put university in context.

They both had a gap year between school and uni which was of course completely spoiled by the pandemic but having that time to mature more and take a break from studying also helped a lot. They were much more ready to leave home and become autonomous and now feel equally happy when at home and when away at university.

Both picked subjects they loved and that came naturally to them at school and I think this has helped too. It's meant that they don't feel they need to study all the time but can have a very balanced lifestyle and so far they're both doing well.

However, if there's a return to full-on Covid-related restrictions, no face to face teaching or extracurriculars, I think l that would be really dire for them and for other students too. Fingers crossed for the New Year and for more normality for our young people.

DD has no regrets about the university she went to or the course she is doing.

A lot of it is just luck. If you end up in a flat share with some really horrible and selfish students it can really taint your university experience. DD is in her third year now and was lucky that she has been in the same friendship group since she started. She got on with all of her flatmates in halls, and ended up sharing with some of them in her second and third year.

Her friends have been really supportive of each other, and during last year's lockdown they managed to create their own entertainment. There were 8 of them in their second year house share, and I can't believe just how creative they were in passing their leisure time when they couldn't go out.

Academically, she is stressed but who isn't in their third year? Her only downside is that she suffers from CFS and if she has several bad fatigue days she slips behind on keeping up with her lecture notes resulting in having to work most days through the Christmas and Easter holidays.

My fresher is enjoying her course but not really the rest of it. She doesn’t get on that well with most of her flatmates and has health issues which mean she doesn’t have loads of energy to pursue other social avenues, and she’s had at least a couple of weeks where she’s been completely out of action due to freshers flu and then another bug. She is really trying though, and I feel sad for her that it’s so hard. She’s a long way from home as well.

My 3rd year is very happy, but his first term in first year was tough, he doesn’t like change and new places and so although he was making friends and liked his course, it took him a while to settle in.

My older two both loved it from the start.

I'm sorry your DD is struggling with her flatmates @AtiaoftheJulii. It is soul destroying when that happens. Getting congenial flatmates is such a lottery. Some universities try and match similar minded students together, but I think moore universities should follow suit.

DD1 loved her course at Cambridge so much so that she's now in her first year of a PhD there. She made some wonderful friends and has done all sorts of strange activities she would never have dreamed of when she was still at school. Her career ambitions are either in academia or another role which prefers enrolees to have a PhD.

DD2 is in her 3rd year of study on a similar course at a (gasp) non-RG uni. Despite the pandemic, she thoroughly enjoyed years 1 & 2, mostly because the numbers on the course are quite small and she gets lots of individual attention. This year she is enrolled as a student at a university in Japan. Unfortunately for her, Japan is not allowing students into the country so she is learning entirely online. Her UK uni offered her a room in a flat on a week-by-week basis, hoping she could go to Japan, but in December, DD decided she was fed up of living with noisy freshers and has come home. She intends to study from here for the rest of the academic year, but may go and stay with DD1/visit her uni city part of the time. Her experience is not brilliant, but that's not the fault of either university. She is quite a political animal and is venting her ire at this government's pitiful handling of everything. She intends to work in the area of her degree (science) but has no firm plans yet as she still has another 2 years of study in the UK.

DS is in year 2, enjoying the course (especially the face to face lectures/seminars etc as he got none of that in year 1), but not his flat mates. He's stayed on campus (Lancaster), for year 2, and in a very mixed flat (a PHD student, a couple of 3rd years and a couple of overseas students only there for a single term), so they're all doing their own thing and they've nothing in common, so havn't done anything as a flat - he barely sees any of his flat mates. It looks as if Lancaster is one of the Unis that don't put "similar" students together in the campus accommodation - he expected to be grouped with other year 2 students mostly, but there aren't any at all in his flat.