How much should dd contribute to Uni costs?

[StickyFloor]

We are planning ahead for September 2022 and I’m not sure what is fair?

DD’s loan will not cover her yearly rent so we will pay the approx. £1500 shortfall, that seems obvious. I’ll carry on paying for her phone too and the cost of everything she needs to take with her.

But then I don’t really know what she will need to live on, and how much we should give her towards that.

We don’t have any spare income or savings and I’ll be getting a job to pay for her expenses and to cover the fact I won’t have Carers Allowance coming in when she goes away.

She has some savings but cannot get any work while studying so I’m not sure if it’s fair for her to run those savings down completely. But then isn’t this the kind of thing that savings are for?

Would love to hear other opinions on what is reasonable- we’ve always supported the kids financially in every way and now I don’t know how to gently start sharing financial costs, especially given that she can’t earn for herself.

DS gets minimum loan which he lives off and we pay his rent which is about 8.5k a year. I pay his phone which is on a family bundle thing but that's only a tenner a month. Ds manages really well and also uses birthday/ Xmas money and also worked in the summer.

We give ours 1k a month to cover rent an living expenses
I don't want them working term time
They do work in the long holidays
I had no cash at Uni and want them to have a good experience

My question initially was whether it was normal for parents to cover everything or if kids were expected to chip in.

IMO, parents should pay for necessities and students should work, or use savings for luxuries, as a starting point, or rule of thumb.
Now, your dd's situation is so very different from the experience of most of us, it is perhaps difficult for us to judge.

All of my dc have said that people on the full loan always have far more spending money than everyone else.
Yes, there is an "expectation" that parents make up the student's income to the full loan amount, however , most students don't need the full amount.
What students need to get their heads around is that the budget is theirs. So, on a lot of forums you will see parents saying that their dc "wants" (or even "needs") and en-suite....however, once you remind the student that not having an en-suite generally gives them and extra £45 pw in their pocket, that "need" becomes less important than when they thought their parents were paying. Most universities have a range of price of accommodation. Unfortunately not everyone gets their first choice, but, if you can, you can make good saving there. Then, teaching your young people to cook, and that having a coffee out is nice, but it is a 'luxury' and not a 'necessity'. We should all treat ourselves sometimes, but it needs to be budgeted for.

Now, none of us really know how all this affects your dd, if she needs a carer with her to support her. However, all of mine have lived on between £35 and £40 pw and said that was fine. They then chose to work to pay for their own luxuries (one ran a car, for example, another chose to go on holidays).

@Kite22 thanks for your response.

I think I’m clear now that we should make sure that our contribution plus the loan covers her rent and all necessities.

The fact that she will need more expensive accommodation is something we’ll have to cover but we will see if there’s help available. We can’t choose a cheaper option unfortunately.

She has some costs that other students don’t have which will come out of her PIP or from us as that is also necessity.

That then leaves her savings for any extras she chooses.

The care costs are a separate problem altogether which we haven’t worked out but the rest is clear for now.

@StickyFloor Done this with DS1 and DS2 and DD going in 2022.
Got minimum loan and so have to top up accommodation and pay allowance for them.

Disabled students allowance supports physical disability and things like dyslexia (2/3 of ours qualified for this as dyslexics). It is significant if you have a physical disability. Ask a uni disability team to help you with the PIP ad the DSA - they are super helpful and willing to help prior to uni starting - so pick a uni and ring them. This will give you an idea of the shortfall.

1st year generally more expensive in halls and cheaper when in private accommodation in 2nd year onwards - but if disability may need to stay in halls for all three years.

Unis offer free money for academic excellence and often have weird and wonderful bursaries so check that out too. Not all are means tested. Which magazine online used to do a guide to bursaries available across the uk for students not linked to a particular uni.

Weekly allowance - my DS boys have asked their friends for you - both recently finished unis - weekly allowance was £60-120 per week across their friendship groups.

Most kids get nothing or 50% of allowance during the holidays from uni.

The kids getting £50-65 per week tend to work to top up or dip into savings. Boys reckon £70-95 is what the majority get or top up to with a job.

This is for food, cleaning materials and loo rolls etc: Going out monies, pens etc or printer paper and ink (covered by DSA) OR photocopying/printing at uni, clothes, clubs and societies, birthday pressies for friends etc This was living outside of London but south of midlands.

We paid for phone and tickets home in addition to the weekly/monthly allowance to ensure we saw them!

@Fruitygal that is really helpful thanks.

DD will have to stay in halls for 3 years which I understand will be more expensive but the benefit of being on campus in an accessible room is worth the price we will have to pay.

We’ve already contacted the Uni she’s likely to go to and already they have been really helpful so if it works out that way I’m confident they’ll be supportive on the finances as well as the practical stuff.

@StickyFloor I would ask her to contribute £10 per week to add to perhaps you contributing £60- 70 per week during term time . This would mean she would use no more than £1500 of her savings over 3 years but it would teach her to respect the money you give without wiping it out.

If you can afford it, I’d give her what you can. Living on next to nothing is quite stressful

It's hard to poll people as everyone has different circumstances.

FWIW, our son has the minimum maintenance loan and he uses that for living expenses. We pay his rent (c£7500 pa) and other expenses like his phone costs, public transport, gym, clothes etc.

I didn't work when I was at uni, but I knew lots that did.

@MrsKeats

I don't understand at all. You say you have no spare income but then say you will fund the 1500 shortfall. You seem not to be keen to work to support your child. Why were you not working before?

Presumably because she was a carer?

I certainly don’t want her to have the stress of living on nothing, she has enough to worry about already in her daily life!

The point is that we don’t have any money to spare now so I envisage everything I earn just going straight to funding her. Which I don’t resent - as I think some posters have inferred - I want to make sure we do what is fair and reasonable, as much as I physically can.

DCs transfer the minimum loan monies to us and then we pay the accommodation directly and send them a monthly allowance - total cost for us to contribute £7000- 8000 in 1st year (depends on uni accommodation costs). (If you work in a retail role for example (Tescos pay £9 per hr) about 22hrs per week after tax and NI would cover this but I think your loan is not the minimum as you said the short fall is just £1500 for accommodation so you may need to work less. Also if you skills from a previous career before you became her carer then you will be able to get a higher salary.

PLEASE remember there are cost savings when they are away at uni - any college transport costs , food costs and clubs costs or hobbies costs you currently pay will disappear along with pocket money you give her.

I was thinking about how to manage the cash flow as I know the loan is paid in chunks. That sounds like a great way to do it, then we can give her regular monthly living allowance and help her to budget.

Cost savings is a good point, petrol in particular!