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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

How much should dd contribute to Uni costs?

88 replies

StickyFloor · 02/11/2021 09:08

We are planning ahead for September 2022 and I’m not sure what is fair?

DD’s loan will not cover her yearly rent so we will pay the approx. £1500 shortfall, that seems obvious. I’ll carry on paying for her phone too and the cost of everything she needs to take with her.

But then I don’t really know what she will need to live on, and how much we should give her towards that.

We don’t have any spare income or savings and I’ll be getting a job to pay for her expenses and to cover the fact I won’t have Carers Allowance coming in when she goes away.

She has some savings but cannot get any work while studying so I’m not sure if it’s fair for her to run those savings down completely. But then isn’t this the kind of thing that savings are for?

Would love to hear other opinions on what is reasonable- we’ve always supported the kids financially in every way and now I don’t know how to gently start sharing financial costs, especially given that she can’t earn for herself.

OP posts:
MrsKeats · 02/11/2021 18:58

I don't understand at all.
You say you have no spare income but then say you will fund the 1500 shortfall.
You seem not to be keen to work to support your child. Why were you not working before?

Hoghgyni · 02/11/2021 19:31

Under DSA your DD may receive a specialist equipment allowance of £5,849 for her whole course, up to £23,258 for a non-medical helper support (not a carer, but note takers etc) and a general allowance of £1,954 which may cover things like extra accommodation costs.

It's expected that anyone on a reasonable income would top up from the minimum to the maximum maintenance loan. I know it can be tough if you have other children, but it's been the case for many years. I suppose the only other alternative would be for your DD to continue to live at home, but that may not be what she wants and would almost certainly present new challenges.

toomuchlaundry · 02/11/2021 19:42

She was her daughter's carer @MrsKeats and got carer's allowance

Original poster
StickyFloor · 02/11/2021 19:47

@MrsKeats a bit aggressive in your questioning but I’ll answer as best I can.

I stated at the outset that I’ll be getting a job in order to bring our family income back to where it currently is plus to support dd at Uni.

My question initially was whether it was normal for parents to cover everything or if kids were expected to chip in. I didn’t say I wasn’t keen to support my child, in fact the reason for this thread is because I wanted to gauge figures for how much I need to make sure I’m earning to adequately support her.

I said the thought makes me “miffed” because it seems strange that she has thousands of savings accumulated whereas I have ongoing family commitments which will still be there on top of any new job which will be hard to juggle.

Please don’t accuse me of not wanting to support my children.

OP posts:
Mamlife · 02/11/2021 19:48

Does your dd need to move out to halls?

Original poster
StickyFloor · 02/11/2021 19:53

No, she’s going to a local Uni so we can be close by in case she needs us. So she doesn’t need to but she really wants to live in campus to get some independence. It’s her choice.

OP posts:
Mamlife · 02/11/2021 19:53

It wouldn’t be unreasonable to expect your dd to chip in if she has thousands in savings

Original poster
StickyFloor · 02/11/2021 19:55

You’re the first poster to say that!

It’s been unanimous so far that we should cover the shortfall in the loan and make sure her basics are covered.

OP posts:
Mamlife · 02/11/2021 20:25

I just think that if your dd has choosen to go to halls when she had the option to stay at home and she can afford to chip in herself then she should.
I don’t know anyone who fully pays for their kids in this situation. If money was no object then yes but it clearly is.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 02/11/2021 20:59

I think it’s strange that means testing only looks at income rather than expenditure - two families on the same income will be in very different situations re affordability depending on their other responsibilities.

But surely you can appreciate that it wouldn't be fair for someone whose parents chose to buy a more expensive house, new car on finance etc. to qualify for a higher loan amount than someone whose family lived in a more modest home and had an old car, when both families had the same income. Every family will have different lifestyles and priorities, so they have to base the award on income rather than outgoings.

LefttoherownDevizes · 02/11/2021 21:12

@StickyFloor

No, she’s going to a local Uni so we can be close by in case she needs us. So she doesn’t need to but she really wants to live in campus to get some independence. It’s her choice.
Have the uni confirmed she's eligible for Halls? Many unis only guarantee Halls for people living over a certain distance away.

You also didn't mention she had thousands in savings, just that she had some. The amount she has is relevant to whether she should contribute, if it is many thousands it does cast a different perspective on it

Original poster
StickyFloor · 02/11/2021 21:22

Uni have confirmed she can have halls for all 3 years due to her disability.

Dd has about £5000 so it’s a hefty sum in our eyes. I’d hate for it all to be eaten up just on daily living hence wondering if it’s fair to ask her to chip in at all.

OP posts:
LefttoherownDevizes · 02/11/2021 22:03

Aah, that's good they've confirmed it. And £5k isn't too much, I thought you meant tens of thousands. You works have to mainly top her up and it really wouldn't go that far shear, more useful her keeping for emergencies and one offs

moanymyrtle · 02/11/2021 22:26

You need to get in touch with citizens advice or a local carers charity as they can advise what benefits she can get. Has she had an adult social care assessment? Does she get PIP? They are some scenarios where a disabled student can get other benefits if they pass a limited capacity to work test and get PIP they may be entitled to UC. I think they can apply for a higher loan for special support. The loan amount is based on your family income but doesn't include income from benefits eg your carers allowance its only income you pay tax on that is counted when deciding parent contribution so the loan may be higher than you think.

Embracelife · 02/11/2021 22:32

Savings above 6000 might impact her ESA
So she could use some of her savings

Original poster
StickyFloor · 02/11/2021 22:51

We’ve got an ASC assessment in January so we can discuss if there might be any other benefits she can claim. She gets PIP at the moment but apart from CA we don’t get anything else.

We will be somewhat directed by the Council anyway as she needs carer support so any income or savings she has they will want to put towards her carer costs.

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 02/11/2021 23:02

@StickyFloor

No, she’s going to a local Uni so we can be close by in case she needs us. So she doesn’t need to but she really wants to live in campus to get some independence. It’s her choice.
If she was non disabled, and going to a distant uni, I'd say that topping up her loan to the maximum available was expected.

I think that she just as entitled to a "living away" university experience as a non disabled person, whilst equally understanding why it might be sensible for her to stay closer to home. So I would say that topping up her loan to the maximum available is still expected, and reasonable.

I would assume she will get help with paying for her live in carer etc though? If not, it's obviously reasonable to use her income from disability benefits (or savings from previous disability benefits) to pay for that.

Really good luck to your daughter, I'm sure she'll love living on campus! Learning to be independent is the best part of the university experience for all teens, and I think its great you're supporting her to live away from home. I bet its scary, sending her out in the big wide world on her own, after having been her carer for years! But she'll love it, and have a wonderful time!

Darbs76 · 03/11/2021 08:28

I think most parents will agree it’s reasonable to pay for their child’s university education if they don’t get the full loan. I don’t think it’s a bad thing you need to get a job to support that, as you won’t be needed at home in the same way. We will be supporting DS fully with his living / travelling costs (he won’t be taking a loan apart for tuition fee’s), but that doesn’t mean extravagant living. He has around 5k in savings too and if he wants to live beyond what we could consider reasonable for a student then he can dip into the savings. But I wouldn’t expect him to use savings for basic living.

stardustliz · 03/11/2021 08:42

We have same issue with loan. Have to pay about 800 to top up accomodation across the year. Giving 300 a month for DS to live on currently which is enough. He's looking for a job, so when he's working we'll look at reducing this. I asked a few friends what they gave their DS's in similar situations which is where I got the 75 pounds ish per week figure from.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/11/2021 08:47

I think she needs to be contributing op.

Her full loan plus your £1500 will cover the years rent, is that right, leaving her with nothing?

She then has around £350 @ month PIP so £4200 a year. how much of that will be spent on a carer, additional requirements because of her disability etc? Obv apply for every penny of support you can and then her PIP covers the rest.

Whatever left (calculate over a year and divide by 52) so if there's £200 a month she has £45 a week every week.

How much will food and a social life cost - £100 a week? so that would be a £55 a week shortfall term time so that's around £2200 a year.

Obv those numbers are guesses but you get the principle.

That would be £3700 pa plus the £3500 you lose in carers.

Is that affordable? About £625 a month after tax?

I'd try and protect the savings for big expenses if possible.

If you don't think you can earn that, then she takes say£100 a month out of savings and tries to replace it in the summer.

Reasonable to assume most of it is from DLA? In which case its perfect reasonable it's used this way

moanymyrtle · 03/11/2021 08:50

I wouldnt trust ASC to know about UC for students you should get in touch with someone who specialises in benefits advice. My friends son got PIP and UC at uni and had ample money to live on. You might want to post on the SN board as parents there may know how it works.

SeasonFinale · 03/11/2021 09:09

If uni have confirmed she can stay in halls and kf she needs a specific type of room eg. ground floor and en suite etc and it is a more expensive option often they will only charge for a basic room instead where they higher spec room is required due to the disability. A friend with CP had this when at uni.

Whereas we fund my son he does use his own savings to pay for "fun" if the amount we hjve him doesn't cover it. It is for him to decide whether the event is worth dipping into savings for.

Hillarious · 03/11/2021 12:15

I consider it a "family commitment" to support my children through uni by topping up their minimum loans. Having three DC at uni over seven years and supporting two at the same time for three years of overlap, my salary is basically covering that. It's what thousands of us do. My DC have £10,000+ in the bank each, and I envisage that will be their cushion when they move from uni to work to setting out on their own.

MrsKeats · 03/11/2021 12:43

Quite so hillarious