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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Oxbridge Aspirants 2022...Part 2...applications submitted now the tense wait!

994 replies

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 11/10/2021 11:00

Thought I would start a new thread as part one is nearly full and found thread one to be of great support.

So its deadline week this week for our applicants then the nervous wait begins to find out of they have made it to interview. DD applying for HSPS at Cambridge. We know it is a long shot but got to be in it to win it and she is very keen to try. Looking at the admissions info it does not look as though she will need to sit a test prior but all the best to those who will have to.

OP posts:
goodbyestranger · 11/11/2021 10:08

There will always be plenty of decent kids at interview but all too often my DC came back with reports of seriously obnoxious ones, being very very loud and clubby and exclusive. It was never clear if part of the game plan was to freak out the more wobbly opposition. What has been striking is just how few of these overly obnoxious kids were ever seen again, to my DCs' satisfaction.

Piggywaspushed · 11/11/2021 10:18

I met several at my interview days and they were very cliquey and very confident. Funnily enough I could spot them because they were (I assume deliberately) scruffily dressed and smoking affectedly, whereas I had especially bought a kilt and green cord jacket (I still remember what I wore!). At least two of them got rejected (like me!) because they ended up at York, with me! I recognised them; they did not recognise me, obviously ...

Puffalicious · 11/11/2021 10:22

Showing my ignorance here, what are POLAR and ACORN regions?

Valleyofthedollymix · 11/11/2021 10:37

@Shadedog I found your post really thought provoking and moving. I really hope your ds gets a place at Oxford or another great university.

I was really intimidated by the gangs of Londoners who all knew each other when I went for interview and finally to university. They knew hundreds of people - it wasn't a state or a private thing, it was a posh London thing (loads of them had been to places like Camden Girls). They were so much more sophisticated than me.

Your post made me think about how my DS would come across. He goes to a selective London day school and half his year is applying - they're encouraged to take a punt and it's no biggie for them. He's a very sweet boy but I think if your son saw him surrounded by school mates at an interview, he'd probably think he was an arse.

He and his friends have help with interviews and steered towards articles and news to help them with this. It really pisses me off when parents of kids at private schools make out that their children are some sort of persecuted minority. I was talking to an old friend whose Etonian child is just off to Edinburgh because the poor child didn't get into Cambridge. You can't shell out for expensive private schools in order to buy an advantage and then complain that they're at some sort of disadvantage. DS is definitely helped by being at his school and, as you say, meeting educated professionals every day of his life. And that advantage will persist wherever he goes to university. I'd almost go so far as to say I'd prefer for your DS to get in as I know mine will have huge advantages in life without nabbing one of the best university places.

DottyHarmer · 11/11/2021 10:50

It’s not just the “poshos” acting in an obnoxious manner. I have oft told this story, but when ds was waiting outside the interview room, the previous candidate emerged, punched the air, and cried “Nailed it !!”

Ds did not nail it at all….

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 11:00

I'm in agreement with much of what Valley has said. And I am from a FSM immigrant background, so can see from a different angle, but DD's already had much of what I didn't have, and will do well elsewhere (hopefully) if she doesn't get a place at Cambridge. Disappointed, for sure, but would move on easily. She has a wide network, it amazes me at times just how, how they are able to collect such a wide circle of acquaintances, much fuelled by prolific use of SM I'm sure. But, if my younger me met her and friends at an interview, she'd piss me off with her outward confidence. Of course, inside she's dying like most candidates, but we all demonstrate different game faces, and hers is not just developed from school and her community alone, but sub-consciously, me, as I have developed mine through life.

But, whilst she may appear, and is, a confident young person, it does sadden me when compared to the likes of Boris or negative references/jokes to Eton, as if all things about her schooling = bad. Her friendship groups are not school determined (lock down and park-life did a lot to break down those barriers locally), and not even southern biased anymore due to her sport and music worlds converging. I'm not sure if volume of applicants divide between South/North is ever broken, as I still know very few from my home Midlands town that look far afield, preferring to be more local on their post school interests. But that is anecdotal too.

Eightytwenty · 11/11/2021 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 11:02

btw I should add she's not related to Eton in anyway, and I have nothing against Etonians Grin. ok maybe just one...

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 11:06

as I still know very few from my home Midlands town that don't look far afield.

uff.

Startoftheyear2021 · 11/11/2021 11:16

I went to York and completely loved it. I would have hated Oxford or Cambridge.
I suspect for many of our DC other universities will be much better for them. The 8 week terms make everything so stressful and (from what I understand) Oxbridge students often end up taking stimulants to get all the work done (probably a problem at all unis tbh). My DD wants to go to Cambridge and I'm happy to support her, but I'm in no doubt she will probably have a far better and more rewarding experience at one of her other choices.
She's from top London schools and now a boarding school so fulfils all the stereotypes. Though of course she doesn't. None of them really do. All DC are riven by self doubt and lack of confidence. Whatever they may pretend 😀

Shadedog · 11/11/2021 13:19

Any group of pals together can easily look obnoxious when you are sitting on your own. More so if you are nervous, a bit insecure, are in a strange environment or are suffering from imposter syndrome, more so if they appear more confident and sophisticated. Add the subtleties of class, accent, dress. Add one or two LOUD members in each group, all the excitement of OMG WE ARE HERE! We read all the time about people losing confidence standing at the school gate and that’s grown women with children of their own. Sit alone in a costa and the table of 5 just across from you can easily sound like the most annoying people on the planet. I don’t think it’s anyone’s “fault” and most of us will be in the annoying, obnoxious group some of the time. But when you are in that group you don’t have to think about it. That’s the privilege of it - not having to think about it. I think the online interviews levels it and it reduces the investment (financial, emotional, time) for the majority who will be rejected. I don’t think ds “deserves” a place more than anyone else, but he does deserve a fair crack of the whip so I’m all in favour of oxford’s widening participation stuff. Less sure about the lower grade system of other unis which is much more of a blunt instrument. Oxbridge put a lot into their selections which both gives an advantage (Sutton trust/UNIQ/lots of outreach, interview and test in case your grades and ps aren’t up to scratch) but also a disadvantage insomuch as a lot of people who they are trying to target them don’t know about it and the early deadline, written work submission, college choice, and extra tests and interviews can seem overwhelming. I don’t have a solution, I’m just rambling. It would be nice if they could take more but probably the most helpful thing is realising that the other 4 unis you are aiming for are also very good. I’m more worried about ds’s second choice (realistic first choice) than Oxford because it’s still a brilliant course and it rejects around 50% of applicants so it’s not exactly in the bag.

Shadedog · 11/11/2021 13:26

@Puffalicious POLAR is a measure of participation in higher education in a geographical area. It’s a very blunt tool, especially in inner city areas that may have high levels of deprivation but also high participation in higher education. ACORN measures more but I can’t remember what. It’s used by marketing companies and basically tells you what “type” of person is likely to live in a particular postcode from affluent to adversity. Again it’s a blunt tool. Universities often use one or both to contextualise offers.

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 13:33

I think the online interviews levels it and it reduces the investment (financial, emotional, time) for the majority who will be rejected.

Totally agree with this Shadedog. There are the positives of being hooked in and it all feeling more real with face to face, putting aside the potential negatives, but the costs to visit unis on open days, interviews etc can be eye-watering if financially challenged.

None of it feels totally real yet in our household in the absence of any uni visits.

I hope the next few weeks and months brings good outcomes to all our DC. I enjoy hearing about them all, in RL my head is totally kept down to avoid the competitive parent chatter. The kids I meet are actually fine!

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 13:41

And without wanting to sounding creepy, having not gone through this first hand, the support from parents posting with older DC who’ve gone through HE process is very much appreciated.

fishingeagle · 11/11/2021 14:33

Really appreciating all the wisdom and kindness here today.

SandyBayley · 11/11/2021 14:46

I suspect that I'd have felt an outsider if I'd met my teenage children as a teenager myself. I'd have (wrongly) judged them on their 'posh' accents, private schooling and confidence. Coming from a comprehensive in the Midlands with a west mids accent I felt totally out of place and ill prepared for my SPS interview at Cambridge and went to Edinburgh instead.

But if teenage me had actually talked to my children I suspect I'd have worked out that behind the 'confidence' was similar teenage angst and pretty similar interests - politics, socialising and music.

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 15:01

I do believe our accents have the ability to disarm most Sandy if the other way around Smile

DD just got notification from Cambridge for interview. Wasn’t expecting it so early…

SandyBayley · 11/11/2021 15:03

Amazing @ealingwestmum - that's astonishingly early. Will you celebrate tonight?

I neutralised my accent in about 1996. Slightly ashamed that I did but it helped with blending..

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 15:09

Mine rears strongly when tired and after a drink. Even moving away in 1987 hasn’t quashed it completely.

Really not sure how tonight will be, I think she’ll be in shock too.

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 11/11/2021 15:10

@ealingwestmum

I do believe our accents have the ability to disarm most Sandy if the other way around Smile

DD just got notification from Cambridge for interview. Wasn’t expecting it so early…

OMGEEEEE how exciting!! Congrats to your DD lets hope we all hear soon the suspense is killing me. DD came downstairs last night and said "Ive just had an email from Cambridge.....joking!!" I nearly throttled her!
OP posts:
ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 15:14

Grin Tango

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 11/11/2021 15:19

@ealingwestmum I am sure you've said this before but what has she applied for and what college? I am really chuffed for you/her!

Is she excited? I think DD would be but then would also be bricking it in equal measures. If she does get an interview I need to try and get the day off work as I KNOW she will be a nervous wreck.

OP posts:
VikingNorthUtsire · 11/11/2021 15:48

Congratulations @ealingwestmum DD!! How exciting.

I was a Yorkie too. Loved it there and would be chuffed if DS ended up there although it is a blinking long way away from where we live in the SW.

Sad to hear how much more input and preparation some candidates get Sad I don't begrudge anyone those fantastic opportunities, I just wish everyone could have them.

ealingwestmum · 11/11/2021 15:55

Thank you Tango. She’s applied for Asian & Middle Eastern Studies (with an MML) at a smallish central college. I can DM but as I gather so few interviews have been issued this early, I’ll hold off on college for now.

I just got her forwarded email, no idea how she feels…

estherfrewen · 11/11/2021 16:06

Great news @ealingwestmum!!