Another path to greatness - part III

[chopc]

Here is the new thread

I can't remember the exact numbers but I think it was mentioned LSE have 26000 applicatiant for 2021/2022 compared to the usual 22000. I understand that they have the highests proportion of international students.
Indeed as mentioned above, I can't say how my dc PS compares with otthers (have not even read my dc PS...) but despite having mostly 9s and few 8 for GCSE, predicted A*, I realise the chances for dc to get a place is slim.

Sounds fun doughnuts. Personally, I’ve got no concept of ‘greatness.’ Chance would be a fine thing. I would just like to know where DS will living next Sept and be done with it because this has been dragging on for six months already. And we’re all going through the same things and just chatting.

Five - yes I think I saw that too. Isn’t LSE 26,000 applicants for 2,000 places? Nightmare.

@OnTheBenchOfDoom

Durham gave Ds a contextual offer based on the only criteria he fits which is POLAR, whereas I believe with other unis and it might have been C too, they don't look at contextual offers unless you are in 3 or more categories. So moving your child to a lower performing school isn't the answer.

Leeds, Manchester and Warwick just offered Ds with no contextual and their regular entry grades. He is predicted 3 As and is right on the cusp of A/A with another subject. I hate feeling I have to justify his Durham offer because he attends a state school. He got more 9s than 8s for GCSE and has been doing supercurriculars before we knew they were important. Plus he is applying to study computer science and his A levels are not subjective, maths is either right or wrong whereas an English or History essay is open to more opinion and discrepancies in marks. My own degree is English Lit.

No offer holder has to justify their offer to anyone else.

And they certainly should not have to on this thread which is supposed to be a support.

Yes rant/feel disappointed that your child didn't get a place but please don't resent those that did.

I really don’t think anyone is resenting anyone anything and it’s genuinely not that kind of thread. People are just processing, as is perfectly natural.

I agree with quest10n and actually would like to apologise to anyone if they felt they had to justify their DC's place anywhere because of anything I have said

People in real life will know that I am an avid supporter of all young people and if it came across as I am belittling some or saying they don't deserve it, I do sincerely apologise as that really wasn't my intention.

This IS a supportive thread and we can have discussions. Why do disagreements need to perceived as an attack I don't know. We can just agree to disagree and continue in harmony

I mean if the talk about posh/unposh was quickly shut down (and rightfully so) I don’t see why we we have to have the yearly talk about state school children and whether they are getting in over others. On these threads there always seems to be an undercurrent that any state school kid who gets in does so based on some type of agenda and not actual merit. All my DD’s state school friends who got in got in on a slew of A* and A’s and good academic performance all round which I’m sure that is the case for DC’s rejected too.

@chopc and it does seem weird that people you know would disrupt their children’s education and school life in hopes of getting an advantage in getting into Oxbridge. The effect changing schools and teachers not having a good record of their academics seems to me would outweigh any perceived benefit. And unless they also moved houses into low POLAR areas too then they wouldn’t qualify for contextual offers at many universities.

Also, I am sure I don’t have to see there are no contextual offers at Oxbridge anyway.

Hmm thing is @cinammonbuns I don't think this thread is about the state/ private debate. When a type of school/ post code / anything is mentioned why do people get so offended?

Yeah now that you and season have reminded me that it's the GCSE grades that are contextualised I am currently trying to see why those parents justified moving their kids . One of the schools don't have GCSE and follow a different curriculum but waiting to see the response about the other

Hi @Tenpastseven yes it was.

@LoonvanBoon I'm so sorry to hear your news. It does feel like a hell of a year to be applying. Was chatting about this to DH last night after Bend's news, he said he supposed there must be a lot of disappointed dc in a 'normal' year when they miss their grades, I was really surprised the extent to which some Unis over offer. I don't know what's best - to not get an offer, or not to achieve the offer you get?

Of course this year is all a bit different anyway and I think most of us believe there won't be many top unis with much in clearing...

In terms of peace and harmony DS is a state school kid and I'm not offended by any of the debate on here. I think it's good we can all come here, let off steam and process with others going through the same stuff. I've been very grateful for these threads and the support on them.

My 5 at private schools could not be bothered to try Oxbridge and felt chances of getting in were low but did fine at places like Bristol. I think they realise life has a lot of unfairness in it and you just have to suck it up and make the best of it and keep trying at things even if you fail, and try try try again. There might be hurdles for different people at different times but as I was saying to one of mine today ultimately once you get a job and show how good you are and reliable and strong and nice to be around it all comes good and if it does then like I did you can set up on your own and eat all that you kill. (nothing nicer than working for yourself in my view. My grandfather set up his own business in England in 1904 and loved it too)

Wise words Xenia.

And of course for September : Destination Bristol.

Curiouser & curiouser. A state school which follows its own curriculum and doesn't do GCSEs. I thought the Toby Young free schools insisted on Greek & Latin to GCSE as a bare minimum. Did these poor children get their Oxbridge offers? They defo deserved them after such crap parenting.

@Dohdohdoughnuts what are you banging on about? I don't think we've seen you on this thread or the two preceding it so wondering what you're doing here, other than being unnecessarily argumentative?

But Latin and Greek is great (even though my dc think I am mad when I say so).

There’s no way I would put my children in a particular school just because I thought it would increase their chances of a university offer, that sounds like madness to me.

All my 3 DDs have gone to different secondary schools, one private, one super selective grammar and one semi selective. The right school for them as individuals. There are good and bad state schools and good and bad private schools. And so called ‘posh’ people at both!

I think it’s better to take things a stage at a time rather than plan years ahead. I’m not giving much thought just now to DD’s employment prospects, I’m assuming that a good degree from a good university will put her in good stead.

@Dohdohdoughnuts

Curiouser & curiouser. A state school which follows its own curriculum and doesn't do GCSEs. I thought the Toby Young free schools insisted on Greek & Latin to GCSE as a bare minimum. Did these poor children get their Oxbridge offers? They defo deserved them after such crap parenting.

I don’t understand this post at all!

It is in reference to the school that does not do gcses (in the UK) but I think chopc's friend she referred to may possibly be an international school.

@bendmeoverbackwards what you said is interesting.

One of my friends said when she advised her kids about their future she asked them to envisage the life they see for themselves in 5-10 years time. Then see what they need to get there.

I have adopted the same with my kids

Excited but in no hurry to see how their lives pan out (I love our family life and dread them flying the nest)

@chopc in the same way I wonder why people get so offended when people mention the word ‘posh’ but someone mentioned on the thread they didn’t think it was productive to split DC that way and most people seem to agree.

I agree with @SeasonFinale people find a reason for why their DC didn’t get in and it is perhaps easier to suggest that there is something unfair about the system than just accepting for whatever reason the university didn’t think they were the right fit.

I’m sure they will all end up enjoying wherever they go.

Noted @cinammonbuns and agree it will all work out in the end somehow

But if we were all so accepting it just as one of those things, this thread about another path wouldn't exist!

I don't think there is anything wrong with wondering out loud why my DC a wasn't a good fit for a particular Uni. It is what it is but doesn't mean there is a whole load of emotion surrounding the decision.

It is a shame if people don't rant and "grieve" on here for fear of a backlash. Others can feel free to disagree but it doesn't need to be a battle

Been a few days since I checked in and gosh how things have moved on. A new thread and lots to catch up on.
Am absolutely and truly gutted for your DD @bendmeoverbackwards and for your DTs @LoonvanBoon 😢. But god it is testament to their character and resilience how they have taken the news and bounced back. It's so hard when there seems no rhyme or reason to not getting an offer. I wonder if there is even an element to where your academic interests lie based on your PS? DD also got a rejection from her 5th choice with the standard 'just too many good candidates' response. Whilst it doesn't hold any real significance for her, and clearly she hasn't had the heartache others had, I mention it to add further to picture that quality applicants are being rejected from many of the top universities.
Also want to reiterate what a great Uni Exeter is too and I don't consider it to be any lesser to Durham. And in my opinion, it has superior accommodation for that first year. Lots of en suites and double beds on offer - surely that's a big plus!
Anyway, sending big hugs to them all. It's been a crap year for applying for sure.
And please please let there be some good news soon (particularly @SATSmadness )

Thank you for the many kind words and sympathy after my earlier rant. DT1 is absolutely fine, but I felt the need to let off steam and, as question put it, to process my thoughts and feelings.

SeasonFinale, I don't know if anything you wrote was aimed at me, but I certainly don't resent anyone for getting a Durham offer! I haven't posted much since discovering these threads in January, but have been reading and rooting for everyone still waiting for news.

My gripe was with Durham, not those who are given offers; and I still think, in a calmer frame of mind, that it's quite legitimate to question how well they've handled this year's situation, without it just being sour grapes.

The points have already been made by others, but I think there's been very little transparency compared with Oxford and Cambridge. It wouldn't have killed them to let applicants know if they would be issuing far fewer offers than usual (if that's actually the case), for instance.

I also think that if Durham really wants every candidate to tailor their PS to them (in a way incompatible with what Oxbridge say they want), they should just insist on applicants doing a separate one and everyone would know where they stood.

Btw Seasonfinale - and apologies if this wasn't directed at me - I didn't say my children's friends' applications were weak! My sons' friends who have Durham offers are, as far as I know, extremely bright, but I obviously don't know any details of their applications.

I was trying to refer to the fact (without being any more outing than I already have been!) that DH is in a position, as you are, to have some knowledge of some university applications. I thought I explicitly said I was referring to applicants other than my children's friends, but am sorry that I wasn't clear.

Anyway, that's enough for one night, except to say to doughnut that my sons will struggle to escape from their home counties bedrooms given that they live in Yorkshire, but hopefully they'll be able to enjoy some of the other cliches experiences on your list, wherever they end up!

@LoonvanBoon no it wasn't you who referred to other people they knee beibg weaker on paper.