Another path to greatnesses

[chopc]

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't get back to sleep so thought I will have a go and starting the new thread. Hope the title is not too cheesy

Although when I was doing Uni open days with my oldest dd a few years ago, we found out that 'fully catered halls' has a different meaning in some places. No onsite dining room/refectory, it just meant they gave you vouchers for food that you could spend anywhere. I suppose it varies from uni to uni though.

At dd’s school no one got an Oxbridge offer this year. We are really shocked that the girl who applied for natural sciences at Cambridge didn’t get an offer.

Dd can’t decide between Imperial and UCL. Feels she should go for Imperial, but think she’s leaning more towards UCL at the moment. She feels it will be more social at UCL and will also get to meet people from all courses and not just sciences.

@bendmeoverbackwards I was talking about this years freshers during Covid. However I must admit the chap in the room next to me kept to him room all the time

@Majaso12 I had offers at UCL, King's and Imperial. I found the atmosphere at Imperial a bit dry and had a much better feel for UCL and like you say I enjoyed meeting people studying a wider variety of subjects. So difficult without going to Open Days! What subject is she studying?

@chopc JCR is junior common room. In reality a room with a pool table and a couple of sofas but still somewhere to meet up with people. In terms of dining halls, as far as I know as DS’s place, they remained open. In periods of fewer students being around some closed so students ate at adjoining halls. The only times packed meals were provided was when students were isolating.

She’s going to be studying biochemistry.

I will just address some points made above.

Teachers are simply not allowed to give that much detail and indeed must indicate the current level of grade for coursework generally and History in particular.

You simply do not know why some other people who you consider to be "not as clever" or not Oxbridge materials got offers when your own child didn't.

Their contextual gcses might be better, they may have outperformed your child on the aptitude tests, their submitted work may have been scored higher, they may simply have come across better in interview. I hate the snobbery over subjects too. That geography candidate still had to perform better in their application than all the other geography applicants.

I am the mum of a boy who was rejected by Oxford last year for history despite being ideal on paper and on last year's thread was possibly seen to be a shock "no". He took this decision to defer prior to results; got a full set of A*s on the day (before it even went to CAGS) outperforming some of the Oxbridge offer holders at his school but it is what it is.

He is looking forward to going to Bristol this September. I hope in time the apparent disappointment that some of you and your children are still feeling subsides and it becomes a distant memory and acceptance that there are many "ideal Oxbridge" candidates who just don't get offers. I do appreciate that it is still raw (especially for Cambridge applicants) but please do not do other able pupils down when grieving your lack of offer.

Thank you for that insight @PresentingPercy. You're right of course, and thank you, though I'm not sure how entirely focused on the job market DS is just yet. He just wants to find a University course and experience which he feels inspired and challenged by. His plan is to do a law conversion afterwards.

Hear Hear @SeasonFinale. @IrmaFayLear, I felt a bit stung at your comment upthread about 'niche' subjects. DS applied for MML which does have a higher offer ratio, but he still didn't get a place. Does his redirection matter less/ mean less than the redirection of a NatSci applicant?

By the way my comment re coursework should read MUST NOT indicate current grade level

When it comes to a perfect set of GCSEs it may be that some students don’t achieve this because of a SplD or something similar. Not achieving 9s in English for example may be attributable to dyslexia. It could also be that the candidate knew a huge deal on an issue the interviewer chose to talk about. We’ve all had those moments when out planets align, so to speak, and those times too when despite our best intentions, nothing goes right.

There is a lot of sadness and frustration on this thread and I feel for everyone who is disappointed. It's worth pointing out, however, that those DC who did get offers deserve to be congratulated.

Last year DS1 got an Oxford offer to read Chemistry (another apparently 'easy' course to get into). He's not a 'perfect' candidate but loves his subject with an extraordinary passion. I was incredibly hurt by the raised eyebrows at school of parents (who I thought were friends) who openly wondered why he'd got a place where their 'perfect on paper' DC hadn't. Being kind is what's important here.

Oh no, @Tenpastseven - I didn’t mean MML - I was referring to the extra niche subjects which one suspects attract some applicants who are more interested in the admission statistics than anything else.

I know someone who freely admits they couldn’t give a toss about Norse & Celtic but applying for that got them in. He is 55 though so they may have made it more difficult to bluff since then!

Absolutely @sandybayley re: current offer holders.

However we are all human and it is natural to wonder why another candidate was more worthy. And part of the reason this thread was created was to have a place where the redirected DC's parents can air their frustrations without stepping on the toes of the successful
DC's parents as absolutely they should be excited and celebrate.

@sandybayley I didn't understand fully - teachers are not allowed to say what level the coursework is at?

Also are you able to share how you can defer entry once you have already applied?

Sorry last message was for @SeasonFinale

(super selective independent with circa 50 Oxbridge offers this year)

It's actually things like this that really piss people off, and shows how the system still isn't looking carefully enough at the individual. No school, however brilliant, should get that kind of hit rate.

As the mother of a redirected candidate (and not afraid to say rejected either) I stand by the there is no rhyme nor reason to the offers or rejections made sometimes other than too few places available to take equally able candidates. It smacks of Verruca Salt to continue bemoaning the fact though. I thought the purpose of the new thread was to address what they would be doing going forward and looking for the excitement in the path forward.

Also it is not the highest hit rate anyway in relation to the number of overall applications.

That too @SeasonFinale . So you were ready to move on and be excited 3 days after your DC's rejection?

Remember you have had a whole year to reflect?

Hopefully with time the conversation will change but I do need to ruminate and apologise if this will continue to offend you

@chopc re deferrals. I have just explained it on the general 2021 thread but no problem explaining here as long as BigWoollyJumper is going to allow me to comment

Basically he emailed his firm choice (Bristol) and asked whether he could defer. They gave him a link to an online form to complete which did indicate that they would consider deferrals and notify the outcome probably on results day. He actually got a response 4 hours later confirming they were happy to defer his offer. Then on results days when track updated it updated as a confirmed deferred offer with a start date of September 2021. He did not bother to request deferral of his insurance choice as it was an AAB offer and he was predicted A*s.

If your DC has not already decide which will be firm they could check what the likelihood of deferring would be with each of their choices by contacting the admissions teams. With a uni like Durham it would definitely be waiting until an offer is actually in hand (as I see that may be the preference). If you can't find email addresses for all admissions teams let me know as I may be able to get them through an advisers source.

Thank you @SeasonFinale I appreciate the info

@SeasonFinale and @sandybayley look, I feel gutted my child didn't get in. I think he could have thrived there. I know that's true for all the dc on this thread and countless others.

I'm trying to get my head around it, and this thread has been a safe space to do that with other people who understand how this feels right now. I hope in a years time I won't still be feeling like this and DS will be happily settled somewhere else but for right now, this is how I feel, I need to process it rather than being told how I 'should' feel.

@chopc - I said I appreciate it is still raw for Cambridge non offer holders in particular. To be fair every now and then I get a "what if" moment. But he was in the fortunate position of having all 4 of his other offers by 7 October so he knew his alternate was Bristol and was able to get excited about going to -party town Bristol instead which i admit made the whole process easier. He had close friends who failed to secure offers who are at Durham and having a fab time even during lockdown Britain (and even at Hill colleges depsite not being 1st choice).