Dd wants to 'find herself instead of going to uni...

[SausageCrush]

For several years Dd has known what subject she wants to study at uni and has tailored all of her volunteering/wok experience towards her goal. She was due to start in 2021.

Like many teens she has had a rough year and has become demotivated and bored by months of lockdown and self isolating. To cap it all we had a suicide in the family and this has tipped her into wanting to completely change her plans and go far away from here. To be honest I don't blame her and she has our full support. She says she will take her A levels and then take off.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience of this? She is not talking about a gap year. She wants to get a job, earn money, be independent, travel. She might decide in a year (or 5) that she really does want to go to uni. Any advice/suggestions/experience would be welcome as I'm feeling a bit adrift at her sudden change of direction...

So she would move there with no job? Or is that to go to university? If university, why not halls of residence to make friends?

My DS1 took a few years out, worked did some part time courses and worked at the same time ended up deciding to go to university (arts course) last year aged 22, he’s a bit fed up with the lack of delivery due to Covid but still making the most of it.
DS2 went straight after A levels he’s struggled this year and has just asked to withdraw. I said to him if he does go back he should wait till at least 2022.
I wish he’d not gone back this year but done something else for a while. Not sure what he’s going to do now or if he will go back but if he does it will be because he really want to not just because it was the path he was on.
I think currently there is no need to rush of to uni so if she has other plans great, if she want to go she can do so in a few years time.

Dd got her UCAS form in on the day of the deadline and has already received two offers. She is still 100% certain she will defer.

So pleased she is still going to do this, and you are supporting her decision.

University is tough, and it will lead to introspection, challenging herself and all her previous ideas - if it's a good course - that's the role of university! But to do that, after losing her brother in that way ... I've taught students in circumstances similar to our DD's situation and it is very tough and the challenging work and learning still has to be done.

I think she's very wise. Good luck to her!

TBH if she was my daughter I would breathe a sigh of relief! Taking time out is a wise move and also gives the world a chance to get back to some kind of normality.

Sorry OP I didn’t see the post about your darling son ...I am so sorry 💐💕

She is not talking about a gap year. She wants to get a job, earn money, be independent, travel.

Sounds like a gap year?

My ds didn't go to uni at 18. He was bored by A levels, his best friend died and he was completely floored by it. He got admin work through an agency initially, it was boring and repetitive and he found it soothing and he enjoyed having new friends.
He secured a permanent position in Local Government, he progressed rapidly, they funded his degree and his Masters and other professional qualifications. He stayed long enough to not incur any financial penalties for leaving and now works in the private sector in a role that sees him travel the world and pays very well.
He doesn't regret not doing things the more traditional route, his heart wasn't in it and he has found something he enjoys and does well regardless.

DS has done this, he'll be 25 when he starts! He got a job, he's saved for the deposit for his first home and will rent out rooms to help fund his degree, we will pay the rest.
I am amazed how sensible he's been and I'm very proud of his choice.

Sorry OP just reread and saw about your son, so sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss

For your DD and you it's research, research, research. Especially given the double impact of Covid and Brexit. Eg what's the job market like in her chosen cities? what's she qualified to do? where might she travel to and what are the visa/Covid regulations? Can she afford to rent or flatshare?

Sorry for your loss Op
I think it is a great idea to take some time off before going to university, particularly if the dc is not sure about what course they want to do,
In fact, when my dd went on university open days, many of the lecturers said that they actually preferred students who had taken some time off before going to university.
They were often motivated and therefore achieved better grades