Oxford and Cambridge current students discussion thread

[sandybayley]

Starting a new one as we filled it up!

Can't believe DS1 will be home in 2 weeks. Must remember to adjust the Ocado shop for when he's back. I suspect we may end up with a few days of his favourite meals 😊

@ofteninaspin I saw that photo as one of my former students is also a 1st year there. It's such a nice shot and I'm delighted that the college has done such a good job with them.

Even now, DD and her bf are both there. DD, her friend and a PhD student are the only ones on their staircase. DD's bf is alone on his so the college gave him a choice of who to bubble with, avoiding the larger bubbles. He & DD can at least spend time together indoors now.

I posted this on the 4th year thread but DD has a provisional acceptance to stay at her current college for a PhD. Playing devil's advocate, I suggested a change of scene, uni, country even, but she is very happy at that college and they seem to like her. Blimey, she could be supervising some freshers come September - scary thought!

@Malbecfan - congratulations to your DD on her PhD offer. Whatever she decides it's a lovely choice and opportunity to have.

Things are still looking in track for DS1 to return to Oxford in Week 5. His mood is pretty good at the moment, probably because he knows he'll be back soon. He seems to be managing work OK but I do think he needs to be back. It is slightly ridiculous to be a Chemistry student and not have been in a lab yet!

Wow, congratulations to your dd Malbec!

@sandybayley Glad to hear your DS is going back soon. My boy is a scientist but not chemist so no chance of a return yet. I hope very much that they all are allowed back for Trinity - what are your thoughts on the chances?

Congratulations to your DD @Malbecfan, fantastic news!

Oxford first year biologists allowed back now too.

A very big well done to DD1 Malbecfan - exciting times ahead!

@Flyonawalk - I really don't know I'm
afraid but I think the chances of more students (maybe all?) being back for Trinity must be good.

I guess Oxford will be waiting for the Government roadmap announcement on 22 February before deciding what happens next. Probably too late for more returns this term. But things can change very quickly...

@Malbecfan congratulations to your DD!

I've been really impressed at DS's attitude to adapting to remote learning. It's not easy for him to disability / SEN but he is making a very good go of it so far.

The main irritation at the moment is his Cambridge GP, who doesn't seem to realise that DS is actually healthy at this weight. They (a) told DS that if he catches Covid there's a risk that his heart will stop and he will die (WTF?!) and (b) are being awkward about continuing the medication which DS knows works for him.

DS is now on a mission to gain weight.

@ofteninaspin I didn’t know about biologists. We’ve got a physicist here. Maybe they’ll be next?

@sandybayley Yes I too think a full return in Trinity is quite likely, but as you say things can change fast!

DS does Physics, Chemistry and Materials. No face-to-face labs planned for this term.

@mutterphore That makes me feel simultaneously better (about taking two weeks to get essays back, and teaching in some threes) and worse (for your DS).

What subject is he reading? That's really not acceptable. The essay's the thing in humanities subjects at both Oxford and Cambridge and if that's not being marked it's hard to say what education he's really receiving. Colleges are bricking themselves about the possibility of having to return the student fee, if students complain about exactly this kind of thing. So I would tell him to get on to this. Also, five students is not a supervision or tutorial. That's a weekly class, which most colleges / subjects also provide.

If his tutor / supervisor isn't receptive, he should make sure that his moral tutor knows. In the end, the most efficient thing would be a brief email to the master / mistress / warden to say that he's concerned about lack of contact time and feedback and doesn't feel he's able to learn efficiently at home when things look so different from the Cambridge norm. If he doesn't want to send this, it would be perfectly fine for you to. I don't think that would be seen as intrusive. We know that you're the ones paying, after all!

Frankly, there is very little reason why his tutor isn't doing this. Academics are counted as keyworkers, so anyone with children can take up a school place. And many live alone with no dependents, are young research fellows in college, have adult children or, most likely of all, SAH wives!

Wow, lots of uplifting news from this thread, thanks for putting a smile on my face everyone.

@Malbecfan what an impressive DD you have. To stay on in Cambridge for a PhD would feel like coming full circle in a rather lovely way.

So glad to hear of some people returning. DS tells me there are others trickling back to his college due to exemptions as well.

I'm not sure if anyone on here listens to the Planet Normal podcast? I only found out about it recently from a friend after ranting to her about lockdown and the impact on the young. Anyway, this week there was a very articulate Durham Geophysicist undergrad who I thought perfectly summed up (without ranting) the impact on students of lockdowns and the government policy towards universities.

@Ironoaks, your DS's conversation with his GP sounds almost comical. I hope he's not taking it to heart. I have some experience with DS's wanting to gain weight although for different reasons. Mine has been putting on muscle (and strictly no fat) for rugby. I can therefore recommend weights sessions (can be own body weight exercises if no equipment) closely followed by a nutritious meal. On top of that, a further 4-5 small meals a day. Whole wheat pasta, tuna, chicken, berry smoothies, lots of greens etc. Good luck!

Thank you @SnapSnapDragon
His routine includes resistance exercises using his own weight, but he is thinking of introducing some small weights (other members of the household are into weight training and so we have a range of weights and a bench).

The GP has made a referral to a dietician, but I'm assuming that will take a while. At the moment he is trying to fit in some healthy snacks / small meals and has found a protein shake he doesn't mind the taste of.

Target weight = 50kg, with the extra incentive that he'll then be able to donate blood, which he is keen to do.

Hopsalong, DS1 (C) is reading English. He really really likes his DOS and gets on very well with him. They both seem to share a laid back personality....but....I'm the one who's a bit irate about the unmarked essays.

DS1 was always well on time with getting in his essays last term whilst some others in his cohort weren't. His DOS believes in fairness and equality (judging from his very active Twitter account) and so doesn't want to return essays until he's marked everyone's. DS1's and few others, were handed in early last November to mid November but he thinks some of the others didn't hand theirs in until the end of term.

Anyway, his DOS still hasn't marked or returned I think a final two now for DS1. His feedback on the 13 to 14 weeks delayed essay might well have changed how he wrote subsequent essays but it's far far too late now for that module.

I doubt very much DS1 will be willing to do anything or tell anyone. He barely knows his tutor, who only took him on at the very last moment last term along with a few others. DS1 says his tutor says things like "I know nothing about your subjects/ essays of course" as he's a mathematician, so DS1 feels he couldn't even begin to discuss the unmarked essays and wouldn't in any case want to complain or have me make any fuss. I'm therefore trying to hold onto my own frustration and just offload on MN! DS1 has only 'met' his tutor for a 5 minute Zoom call twice ever in any case.

Meanwhile, the new module this term seems to be run better - yet....DS1's first supervision had to be cancelled at the very very last minute last week and the supervisor said he didn't have time to fit it in later that week but could add a few minutes to this week's supervision - on a different topic. DS1 seems satisfied with that - it's only his neurotic mum who is tearing her hair out!!

His DOS now runs the other module this term (there have been lots and lots o last minute changes to who is running what) and this is where there are now 5 students to one one hour Zoom class. I think one of the 5 students may be going to circulate across groups, so some weeks DS1 will be in a class of 4 students.

The first of these with 5 students was a very 'silent' group as larger groups often are and the DOS seemed to do little to encourage people to contribute, according to what DS1 said.

This is very different to DS2's experience at Oxford, where in his 'two students to one tutor' tutorials, the tutor proactively encourages each student to contribute eg "So what do you think about what X just said?" - exactly like I was once used to as an undergrad at Oxford.

On the one hand, I'm aware that we can't know the personal circumstances of DS1's DOS and his new supervisor and don't want to judge them....on the other hand, this is my son and I wanted him to have a good enough experience of Cambridge, especially since so far his social experience has been limited and now non-existent of course - so the academic side feels more important right now.

As DS1 will have this DOS for all his three years, he doesn't want to cause any 'fuss' and is content to let things be. Oh the sheer frustration for his mum! Give me five minutes with his DOS and I'm sure I could 'kindly and skillfully' find out what's going on and elicit some helpful changes. But DS1 is an adult I have to butt out of his life!

@mutterphore will your DS1 really have the same DoS for his whole degree? That hasn't been DD1's experience at all. She had different DoSs for the first 2 years. By the 3rd year, her 2nd year one asked if she could stay on under his guidance/watch which she was quite happy to do. I think she's still with him now.

Her personal tutor is the chaplain. Considering we are a mixed religion family who don't do religion (although can knock out a decent Evensong at zero notice), DD thinks it's hilarious. She says he's a really lovely man who knows little about her studies but when she did have a personal issue a couple of years ago (some parents here may well remember), he was excellent in terms of being objective and caring.

@Ironoaks it sounds like your DS is taking the same route DD did. If he wants any info on Materials Science in years 3 & 4, PM me. DD loves it.

Thank you everyone for your warm wishes. As someone who was called "a thick arts graduate" many years ago, I find it hard to believe that my DD has done so well. She is very determined and hard-working, although what she has in intellect, she lacks in general knowledge and common sense. DH is like her; very clever and practical but totally unable to coordinate all parts of a meal to be ready at the same time. I suppose it takes all sorts!

Thank you @Malbecfan
He finds the Materials Science really interesting but he isn't confident that he has enough aptitude at it to specialise in it. I don't know when they need to make decisions about the second year courses; hopefully not yet.

@Ironoaks I have a few spare kilos I can lend to your DS. I don't want them back either.

@Malbecfan. Oooh DD is also year 4 materials. There aren’t many of them so I guess they must know (of) each other. Your DD has done incredibly well. Congratulations to her and you!

Malbec you must be super proud (quite rightly). Well done to your DD.

Hog / Iron I too have many spares

Well done to your DD, Malbec. Materials science is one of those areas that a lot of people don't think about but it's so important for many of the new innovations as well as more traditional stuff.

I should think quite a lot of the final year students will be happy to have a chance to stay in Cambridge if they can. DDs job is a few miles outside, her BFs looks commutable by train in the other direction so I'm pretty sure she'll want to stay in the town - she mentioned the other day that one of the benefits for alumnae is being able to use the college gym for a very low rate.

One unfortunate consequence of DS's preoccupation with his weight is that we now have those fancy electric scales that measure body fat percentage and, even worse, DS thinks it is good idea for me to use them. When I finally acquiesced, the result was not great and I had to endure a lecture from DS on the need to look after myself.

Malbecfan, great news about your DD! Well done to her!

I guess you may well be right about DS1 not necessarily having the same DOS throughout his degree. He does really like him though, no matter how late he marks essays.

Ironoaks, I hope your DS's GP understands that some people are just healthily slim. I'm not one of those sadly and I too could hand over some of my excess pounds!

One side effect of having DS1 and DS2 at home is that it's proving impossible to shift my excess Christmas weight. They eat so much - but burn it off - but with all that extra food in the house, I find it even harder to say no to treats or extra helpings. Mmm...perhaps 'studying from home causes detrimental impact on mum's weight' could be a sound reason for them to return to college?!

I find having DS1 home is quite good for my weight. Any goodies get snaffled by him before I can get to them. Any meal I cook is never quite enough so I hold back from seconds to make sure he is fully fed. I suspect when he's not here then the trouble starts for me.

He's confirmed his return to Oxford for next Friday. He has to take two lateral flow tests before labs start in w/c 15 February. I'm delighted for him and pleased I get an outing to Oxford next week, even if it is a fleeting one.

I know he's lucky to have the opportunity to get back. Fingers crossed for those still waiting for a return date.

No return date in prospect for dd, despite her appealing once more. It's as though she threw it into a black hole apart from an acknowledgment from her tutor.