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Oxford and Cambridge current students - discussion thread for anyone with daughters, sons etc there for Michaelmas 2020 (and not just freshers!)

999 replies

DadDadDad · 25/09/2020 17:36

A continuation thread for those attending Oxbridge for the first time this term, but it makes sense to throw it open to anyone with a DC there (or other family member, or maybe you're a student yourself or teach / work there - all welcome!) Share your thoughts and questions on college life, courses, etc. A certain virus has made it a bit different for everyone this year...

I have a DS who is a fresher at a small Oxford college in a small subject. We will be taking him there in just over a week.

OP posts:
justaweebit · 28/10/2020 19:44

DD (O) quite unwell with COVID symptoms....quick and efficient testing and awaiting results now. A hot dinner was delivered to her room (which she hadn't asked for), so it helped as she's feeling a bit low, I think. It's a shame, as she's been super cautious - to the point I felt she was almost in isolation before. 3 out of 4 household mates have similar symptoms. The other is very kindly helping out as much as they can Confused

sandybayley · 28/10/2020 20:15

Sorry to hear that @justaweebit - hope she feels better soon.

DS1 (O) seems to have escaped it for now - maybe because we think he had it in April although he wasn't tested. Planning to see him on Sunday so hoping he is available...

The only thing he really wants me to take is the dog.

Hoghgyni · 28/10/2020 20:46

@Pepermintea

Can I ask a non covid, general question? I'm sure I read somewhere that all students have a general tutor who's not the same as the one they have tutorials with, but someone they can go to with other issues. When I asked DS about his"personal tutor" (for some reason I thought that this was the name) he had no idea what I was talking about. Is this a thing, or have I imagined the whole concept? I don't feel that I have explained it very well, but I hope at least someone understands what I mean!
I was hoping that DD would have one, especially whilst juggling lectures, SI, Deadlines and a funeral. She hasn't got one either.
justaweebit · 28/10/2020 21:54

@Hoghgyni that's a lot to cope with. I hope she's doing ok in the circumstances

dolphinpose · 28/10/2020 21:57

@justaweebit So sorry. Hope she recovers soon.

Aethelthryth · 29/10/2020 07:25

just Hope she gets well soon

sandy We're doing zoom with the cats.....

SnapSnapDragon · 29/10/2020 12:42

We're doing zoom with the cats.....

I originally read that as, "we're driving down with the cats...". I'm rather sorry that I took another look because I was enjoying the vision of Aethelthryth making an emergency dash down the M1 with cats on her lap! I've told DS that if he gets fifth-week blues I would consider driving down with a dog. It wasn't really a serious suggestion and hopefully he won't ask, because by that stage there will probably be road blocks.

I'm sorry to hear about the DC who are feeling glum, suffering from COVID symptoms and having to deal with bad news. I hope things start perking up for all of them.

PantTwizzler · 29/10/2020 13:44

Oxford now in tier 2.

SnapSnapDragon · 29/10/2020 14:00

How depressing.

I'll refrain from lockdown ranting because this is not the place. But I'm really sad for our DC.

ofteninaspin · 29/10/2020 14:19

So disappointing. Had literally just agreed a plan with DD to visit next week.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 29/10/2020 16:27

Its all a bit miserable isn't it. Well done to all our dc for hanging in there.

dd had a supo outside in the rain and wind this week. We discussed the best way to stop her work from blowing away.

Unescorted · 29/10/2020 16:35

We have gone into tier two too. Which sounds very owlish. In T2 they are saying that people can meet indoors for educational purposes.

FraterculaArctica · 29/10/2020 16:44

Re "why can't tutors offer tutorials face to face" - I am currently doing supervisions for students at C. Although not vulnerable, the logistics of meeting in person are too hard - I commute into work from some distance out, and only go in to town occasionally. Even if I thought it was a good use of my time and risk to go in on a given day for a 1 hour supervision, I have nowhere I could meet the students - they are banned from entering departments and I don't have a college room. Not all supervisors have a college position that comes with a room!

sandybayley · 29/10/2020 16:47

Interestingly (I know this because I follow these things for work) in all tiers certain 'support' groups are still allowed to meet face-to-face in a public place with up to 15 people. This includes things like bereavement support groups, mother/baby groups, addiction groups etc. This has to be a positive thing and is much better than the spring lockdown.

mutterphore · 29/10/2020 17:31

Decided to come back onto this thread, after some reflection and it won't take long for anyone to 'recognise' me under a different username but life's too short and times are hard for our DCs.

DS1 and DS2 are delighted to be out of isolation now and making the most of their freedom, although it could be very short-lived. DS1 is trying to get his college to allow him to form a single-person household as he doesn't share bathroom facilities and doesn't need to share a kitchen either but college is resisting.

DS1 is concerned because the member of his household who tested positive and got them all into isolation in the first place, is now mixing with other households that are currently still in isolation in the same college. She doesn't seem very 'rule-abiding' unlike DS1 and he's frustrated and wants more autonomy to protect himself from further periods locked up in his room.

His college allowed them outside for one period of 6 hours - on a cold, torrentially rainy day, to access a small patch of the grounds but that was the only fresh air he got in 14 days.

DS2 - whose college grounds are a lot bigger - wasn't allowed out at all for his whole isolation period. I don't understand why this couldn't have been carefully organised but there you go.

Both of them exercised as much as possible whilst in their rooms, and have been back out running since. Both have worked very very hard whilst in their rooms and DS2 is well ahead with his essays. Both are engaging as much as possible in various clubs and societies - virtually all online. Neither was really able to socialise with their household whilst in isolation as all of them decided to keep in their rooms to avoid further contamination. So it was mostly a period of utter solitude.

Since then, DS1 has had one face to face supervision - masked of course - and enjoyed this very much but otherwise all tutorials/supervisions have been online.

I worry very much about them being in isolation again and have warned them to ensure they have plenty of supplies this time. DS1's college refused to give them breakfast throughout their period of isolation and wouldn't help with any laundry so he had 3+ weeks with no clean clothes!

The 'provided' meals at his college were often one small pack of shrivelled, cheap sandwiches (and you couldn't pick the filling) and a bag of crisps - so clearly that college are not into healthy eating!

DS2 had some good friends to do his laundry and bring him some food and does at least seem to have friends in college, if not in his corridor. DS1 gets on fine with his household but has found that others he's met from different colleges are much more on his wavelength. So I hope he can still connect with these until further restrictions ensue.

Hoghgyni I'm so sorry about another bereavement and hope you and family and especially your DD are coping at what's already a very difficult time.

Justaweebit I hope your DD starts feeling better soon and is getting well looked after by her college. I'm actually quite shocked by how unsupportive DS1 and DS2's colleges have been compared to others I've heard about and also compared to other universities too.

Pepermintea, DS1 has both a tutor for 'pastoral' issues and a supervisor whereas DS2 has just a tutor. DS1's tutor was changed at the last moment and is from an unrelated subject (but I think that might often be the case?) . They 'met' online at the start of term, very briefly and I've suggested to DS1 that he contacts his tutor and explains his concerns about wanting to be in a single-person household but I doubt he will as he always tried to manage things on his own.

As Oxford goes into Tier 2, we can only hope that our DCs can still get as much as they can from their university lives and certainly I've been very proud of my two for coping so well, while I quietly worry in the background!

SnapSnapDragon · 29/10/2020 17:53

Lovely to have you back mutter! Great news that your two are out of isolation and let’s hope it stays that way for them both.

I was meaning to ask about households of 1 actually, because someone mentioned it upthread. I can see that it would reduce the risk of another isolation, but how would that work for socialising and meals? And are households and bubbles the same thing? DS (O) is sitting with his bubble for most meals and I guess this will become all meals now that they can’t meet up in small groups in restaurants. So if your DS was in a household of one would he have to eat alone every night? That sounds pretty rubbish but may be better than being locked in his room for weeks on end.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/10/2020 17:56

Glad they're coping with these trials and tribulations, mutterphore. Probably when we all look back on this time it will prove to have been character-building for many .... but it's tough and I'd much rather they could be getting on with the normal balance of work and play.

mutterphore · 29/10/2020 18:25

Snap, before isolation, DS1 was eating all meals alone anyway as he said no one form his entire corridor nor many if any first years were eating in hall but taking meals back to their rooms. So it'd make no difference to him in a household of one. He's had to eat alone most of the time. Today he went into the refectory hall to eat and there was virtually no one there as almost the entire first year is still in isolation. All throughout isolation, his household stayed in their own rooms almost all the time. It's nothing like what you expect of a normal life for Freshers.

The only socialising he's done with some members of his household has been rare and low key and whilst he gets on fine with most of them, they're not really on his wavelength and I doubt they'll become actual 'friends'. So he feels he'd not be sacrificing much by becoming a single household. He could still (while they still can) go out and meet up with people from his various societies.

DS2's college is much more sociable and take meals in the hall and he at least has found like-minded people in his own college.

SnapSnapDragon · 29/10/2020 18:28

Yes I can see why a household of one would be preferable for your DS1, mutter. Fingers crossed for him.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/10/2020 18:32

I don't see why, in general, anyone who logistically can form a 'household of one' who wants to should be allowed to. But students should not be made to be a singleton if they don't want to be.

goodbyestranger · 29/10/2020 18:33

Sorry to hear about your loss Hoghgyni.

DD4's college seems to remain remarkably untouched by isolations. I'm amazed. She's playing sport tonight and working and seeing people etc so it sounds strangely normal. She's clearly one of the lucky ones.

justaweebit · 29/10/2020 19:15

This made me smile....as expected, DDs test results was positive. She has had a rough couple of days and been very sick (didn't realise that was a Covid symptom). However, she was thinking she should try to eat something but missed 'booking' dinner. The lodge told her to order what she wanted on Deliveroo, they'll bring it to outside her room and that she should charge it to the College. Not sure she's up to pizza but thought it was kind of them!

hobbema · 29/10/2020 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hoghgyni · 29/10/2020 20:18

The students concerned are trying to establish this. Their Warden says there are minimal changes to College rules as a result if Tier 2 status, mainly to their ability to travel. The College initially said that they were treated as a workplace rather than a home, which gave them more flexibility.

DadDadDad · 29/10/2020 20:57

Just got back from Oxford! The time we spent with DS was fairly brief as he had an essay deadline, but we were able to drop off some lunch for him and hand over some items he'd requested. Then at 4pm we all went for a walk round the University Parks: the rain held off and it was nice just to chat before jumping in the car and headed home.

I think it gave him a little boost to see us, and reassured us that he is genuinely happy, getting to know people and enjoying his course. We'll leave him to it now, until we gather him at the end of term (isolation requirements permitting).

OP posts: