Oxford and Cambridge current students - discussion thread for anyone with daughters, sons etc there for Michaelmas 2020 (and not just freshers!)

[DadDadDad]

A continuation thread for those attending Oxbridge for the first time this term, but it makes sense to throw it open to anyone with a DC there (or other family member, or maybe you're a student yourself or teach / work there - all welcome!) Share your thoughts and questions on college life, courses, etc. A certain virus has made it a bit different for everyone this year...

I have a DS who is a fresher at a small Oxford college in a small subject. We will be taking him there in just over a week.

D1 sent a couple of pics. Apparently, even though actual matriculation was online, everyone then went out in their sub fusc - 'Rad Cam was packed' (Covid? What covid?) and then they went pedalo-ing on the river, safer than punting, they reckoned. Then photos at college.

My DS referred to it as matricu-lash with tales from some second year of falling down at 11 in the morning.

Rad Cam* packed? matricu-fection?

*Radcliffe Camera, it took me a moment to decode that one. Still learning the lingo - got told about his "tute" the other day (which I think is what proper people would call a "supervision").

...or even a "supo"

Hello! May I join the thread? I have a son in his 3rd year at Cambridge and another son in his 2nd year at Oxford. DS2 has covid and after a few days feeling rotten, is beginning to feel better.

Thanks for joining us, Bollard. Sorry to hear about your son. The cases of covid seem low in Oxford (my DS knew of one case at his college in a different year), and let's hope it stays that way!

A lot of us on this thread are the remnants of the Oxbridge 2020 entry threads, so we're sharing the fresher experience, so it's great to have those with experience to share - although in this strange year, everyone is having a rather different experience.

Feeling sad for DS as he's stuck in his O room isolating as a member of his household has tested positive. So he missed out on the matriculation yesterday ☹️ There are 150 in his college isolating and I think that the college are overwhelmed. They have been told now that parcels won't be delivered to their rooms (he has one waiting that I sent before he went into isolation) and he also needs to get some paper as he left his in another room and now obviously can't get it! He doesn't seem to know who to contact and doesn't want to make a fuss!

@Pepermintea, so sorry for your DS. DD (3rd year O) says he should contact one of the junior deans. In her college, contact numbers are on the back of room doors.

Thanks @ofteninaspin. I have passed on the suggestion, I wouldn't have thought of junior deans (what do they do?).
DS isn't the most communicative at the best of times, so I may not find out if he's got anywhere, so will spend my day fretting, whilst also telling myself he is capable and has to get on with it himself!

Message from Coleoptera: I'm bowing, out as someone has identified me in RL and whilst I don't mind for myself, I need to protect my DTs.

I'm name changing again after this one post.

Wanted to wish you all the very best, especially to those who've been so supportive throughout my time here.

Good luck to everyone and their DCs.

Sorry to hear that, Coleoptera. Very best wishes to your DTs and you.

Thanks for the welcome DadDadDad. Whilst I’m gutted for my boys, I’m very sad for the freshers starting their university experience in these circumstances.
Peppermintea does your DS have college parents who could help? My DS2 doesn’t like asking for help but I’ve pointed out that he likes to help other people and would be pleased if someone felt they could ask him, and most people feel exactly the same.
It’s so hard for those isolating not getting any fresh air. They’ll all be like moles by the end of the isolation! Even though DS2 has been unwell, he’s beginning to feel better now and is dreading the thought of another week in the room he’s been vomiting in.

Coleoptera I wish you and your DTs all the very best. I rarely post but have always appreciated how kind and positive your posts have been. As a fellow single mother, I applaud you! Your love for your DC shines through and I’m sure will serve them well whatever they do.💐

I guess if you need specific support or advice, you could come back under different names for each twin. While 'sock puppeting' isn't allowed, we are allowed to have different concurrent names for different purposes, not least privacy.

I think thats a good idea Errol.

I hope you aren't feeling too cut off from support Coleo If you have any cambridge specific questions that my limited experience might be able to help with do feel free to pm.

Yes, I'm sure lots of us who've 'known' anyone here for a while are happy with PMs if apt.

You do say that you don't mind for yourself but you need to protect the DTs. For my part I couldn't give a fig if I'm identified, if only on the purely pragmatic grounds that I often have been (inevitable I suppose, with an unusual sized family all at the same school). I only object when posters mention a personal detail on MN which I've not revealed myself, then I simply contact MN and they're very good at deleting that sort of thing. I guess my method of protecting the privacy of my DC is only to write things which they themselves would be fine my saying. So it's perfectly possible to protect the privacy of DC if one censors oneself. Would the DT mind you having written anything that you've written so far? Or, given the deletions you've made, could you carry on as Coleoptera but watch the personal detail going forward? I don't see that someone saying they know who you are in rl matters, in itself.

Obviously I do quite see that some people might mind, which is fair enough.

That's a shame, @Coleoptera - we've enjoyed sharing your journey, and the unique perspective of being able to compare O and C.

I'm sure if ColeopteraCantab and OxColeoptera start posting on here, no-one will spot the connection!

It is a risk that we all take, it's a fairly small community in the Oxbridge crowd.

dd seemed a bit despairing this evening. With all online lectures everyone seems to have turned nocturnal, with people awake all hours. She is a very routine based morning person - always has been, even through the depths of teen years, so she is feeling very sleep deprived.

Reminded me of the horrors of my final year and the utter exhaustion at not being able to get a whole nights sleep. I've sent emergency earplugs and chocolate. I know she could order them herself, but I felt really sorry for her.

This is my DS 4th year at Cambridge so if anyone wants to know anything I’ll try my best.

@OhYouBadBadKitten sleep deprivation is horrible. I had a shared room in my first year and I was studying an intensive workload course with 9am lectures every day. My roommate would often come in at 3am, sometimes bringing guests back with her, and on one occasion a Belisha beacon.

Although each piece of information we share about our offspring seems innocuous, the intersection of all the pieces (gender, course, college, maybe hobbies) could narrow it down to a very short list of people.

Of course Ironoaks, but the point is whether it matters. I think it would matter only where very personal things about the DC were shared. Over the years that I've been on MN I don't think it would be possible for any reader to divine much about my DC which would concern my DC. I would say the same about your own posts about your DS. It's only really where posters stray into more personal territory that it could be a problem.

@Coleoptera - sorry you've been identified. Please PM me if you'd like to stay in touch, given how similar our journeys have been. I'd be very happy to chat.

Just watched a stunning candlelit Evensong streamed live from three different places in college to enable social distancing. They have managed to make a feature of what must have been a PITA. First glimpse of DS as a Choral Exhibitioner. So far his college doesn't seem to have needed to isolate. Their big bubbles of around twelve people have worked. Hope it stays that way for DS.

Really feel for all those who are struggling with Covid restrictions and isolations. Could students who have recovered not act as runners to deliver parcels? The individual colleges vary so much in how they are handling this, and some aren't empathetic enough to the daily challenge of isolation.I hope they all come through it soon.