Oxford and Cambridge current students - discussion thread for anyone with daughters, sons etc there for Michaelmas 2020 (and not just freshers!)

[DadDadDad]

A continuation thread for those attending Oxbridge for the first time this term, but it makes sense to throw it open to anyone with a DC there (or other family member, or maybe you're a student yourself or teach / work there - all welcome!) Share your thoughts and questions on college life, courses, etc. A certain virus has made it a bit different for everyone this year...

I have a DS who is a fresher at a small Oxford college in a small subject. We will be taking him there in just over a week.

@Daily, you're right about how the staircase to which you've been allocated is far more significant this year than is usually is. Had a heartbreaking tearful video call from DD today She is generally enjoying college life, within the Covid restrictions, and has been out and about for drinks/lunch/brunch or whatever with friends that she met on Zoom calls over the summer. However, she feels, despite trying really hard with conversation at mealtimes etc, she hasn't "clicked" with her staircase mates - they are lovely people but have completely different interests and seem extremely introverted - DD was gutted to hear that one of them had labelled her as a "party animal" who was the "odd one out" of the staircase. She isn't a party animal at all, but has made the most of the ability to socialise a bit this week before she has to get her head down and study. I think she'll really struggle if/when her staircase has to isolate and she can't see anyone else....

Hog she chose the college b/c they let her do 3 Art A levels which gave her 2 chances of getting into Oxford. If she hadn't been taken this year she would have done a foundation and applied again.

Jelly, that sounds like jealousy from her flatmate to me. If they are cooped up together and not really getting on, watching your DD having a lovely time with lots of different friends might be rubbing them up the wrong way. Maybe getting the miseries out for drinks/brunch or lunch would help?

Hands up who wishes they had a porn star coat ... I’ll start! Oxbridge round trip for the girls’ birthday tomorrow. Bringing the dog too as a surprise as apparently he’s the only thing they miss.

And sorry Coleoptera but I am chuckling at your early conclusion that O is full of studious, tweed wearing gentlefolk and C strewn with gang members, running from knife crime in hoodies

@Biscuitburglar

And sorry Coleoptera but I am chuckling at your early conclusion that O is full of studious, tweed wearing gentlefolk and C strewn with gang members, running from knife crime in hoodies

Oxford is the only place I've noticed coppers in the town centre walking their beat in pairs (disclaimer-that was decades ago, my first job was there.) . OTOH walking around Cambridge you're more likely to encounter a cow.

Errol - you've just awoken an ancient memory: Walking on Midsummer Common (Cambridge) with toddler son, he's excited to see a cow and runs towards it, and trips spectacularly straight into a cowpat. Healthy covering of his face and clothes - even trusty baby wipes weren't going to clear that one up, and we somehow had to get him home in his car-seat... .

I've no idea if this traumatic experience had any influence on his subsequent path in life that brings him to study now at Oxford...

I seriously hope neither of the DTs have prepared 2 terms worth of essays as they will come unstuck when they realise the style requires is totally different to that of schools and their tutors will expect their feedback to be listened to and incorporated in future work.

I am wondering which is the gangsta college that DT1 is at in Cambridge and which college in Oxford where DT2 has found freshers desperate to don tweeds despite a predominantly state school intake is holding itself out as being in a 19th century novel?

I'm ashamed to say I very nearly bought myself a pornstar coat today. One of those fluffy leopard print ones. I didn't but I'd like to have done so I could see DS1's face when we meet him for lunch in Oxford in 3 weeks. Not being a helicopter Mum I hasten to add, it's DH's birthday and DD and DS2 want to see Oxford (DD is probably applying next year).

I can't top the cowpat story D3 but I did walk past the florist today where toddler DS1 fell into a hugely expensive bunch of flowers and destroyed them. Makes me angsty every time I walk past even 16 years later.

DS was born in Cambridge and lived there until he was 4, so going back for me involves lots of “Ooh, that’s where you used to go to playgroup” moments.

Going to see him on Tuesday (if he’s free!) because I’m going to Cambridge for something else. I am taking him, as requested, a jar of homemade salad dressing and a tea towel 😬

(DS went to an inner city comp for sixth form and likes nothing better than being comfy in his tracksuit bottoms... but does also scrub up nicely in a jacket and tie for a formal occasion...)

DS doesn't fit into either of the categories Coleoptera is describing. He went to a state school with a mostly BAME intake, on the "leafy" side of a town which does have gang issues and a high rate of violent crime.

95% of DS's wardrobe consists of a sort of casual 'uniform' of (non-designer) jeans, t-shirts and basic hoodies. He has one smart casual outfit (which he wears about once a year) and a suit (likewise). It's very unlikely that he would notice what anyone else in his college is wearing.

He likes a serious discussion and enjoys talking about science, politics or current affairs. He is always interested in learning new things, on pretty much any topic.

Before he left, I asked him what he will do if he finds himself in a household with people with whom he has nothing in common - he replied "I'll find something about them to like." Hopefully this strategy is working.

95% of DS's wardrobe consists of a sort of casual 'uniform' of (non-designer) jeans, t-shirts and basic hoodies.

That probably describes the majority of students of either sex.

Oh dear, I think my DS might be a bit like some of the freshers Coleoptera's DT has met (though at Oxford). He wears sports shorts and T shirts for preference (I have given him many talks about trying to look slightly better presented!). He can't talk to anyone about his subject (Maths) unless they are Maths/Physics or Engineering students, they would simply die of boredom! He has however got a wicked sense of humour and would make terrible jokes about Trump to try and ice break. He is in a household of medics/ biomed/psychology and is slightly out of his depth! He takes his work very seriously though and is quietly working through problem sheets.

As Hog said upthread, they are just normal 18 years olds who have been set free after 6 months of sitting at home. They will all get there eventually.

And although he attended a state school it was by choice (his and ours), because of the absolutely inspirational Head of Maths who used to take her Year 13's to the pub to practice Olympiad Maths problems

I suppose perhaps Coleoptera should remind her DTs that knowing the work and effort they had to put in to getting their places at their second attempt none of the students with an Oxbridge place got there without either a high level of intelligence and/or investment in their subjects. They simply won't have been able to fake it at interview. The DTs are more unusual in that they have had a whole year out and are raring to go whereas the class of 2020 have not.

I think it is time they started to join the societies on offer if they want to find discussion groups rather than housemates.

Hua that sounds like one of the people DD has made friends with. If you are from Wales and he tells you that he has recently got married and is considering a tattoo... All I can say is the tattoo art work will be beautiful and thoughtful.

Sandy DD got hers from H&M I think.

DS is at C and is another one who will have downplayed his interest in his subject during Freshers' Week. He is intensely sociable, plays intimidating loud music I don't even know the name of, wore trainers for matriculation despite his loving mother (me) making sure he packed a pair of smart shoes for it, and always looks as if he's just rolled out of bed. Just like the rest of his immediate friendship group at school. I do think everyone eventually finds their people at university, although it will inevitably take a bit longer this year.

Anyone else's DC struggling with joint hons timetabling issues? D1 is really upset over it and trying to sort it all out via email is proving to be a nightmare. Her personal tutor has been no help, although she's now got a meeting about it later next week. The introductory sessions for her subjects were at the same time so she had to miss one. That also clashed with another meeting for one of her options. She's so stressed about it, she's not felt like doing some of the freshers things (not that there has been very much) I hate to think of her just sitting in her room, worrying about it and waiting for people to reply to emails.

DD's college does not sound tweedy. I've just given her a ring to see how she's doing. All good, but she's fairly laid back. Anyhow, the college is very central, old and there's evidently no excess of tweed and no reports either way on intense conversations other than to say her tutor (the senior one) was remarkably unintense about the work he set her for Wednesday [thumbs up emoji].

Cross post JulesJules. This seems to have been an issue with plenty of the joint hons students on DD's course. Tell your not to worry, she's got the meeting fixed up and it seems to be a thing - but it's bound to be sorted.

^ DD

Coleoptera I am sure your DT1 will find his tribe very shortly and joining societies is a very good idea. It may be a little longer than normal due to the restrictions this year.

My DD is finding her way and can't believe she is there (C) after all the A'levels worries. She is from a school that sends a maximum of 1 but mostly none to Oxbridge each year. Up until results day she was still revising A'levels thinking she may have to do exams in October.

@Unescorted no we are not Welsh and DS is still pretty scared of girls so won't have proposed to anyone. Shame though, your DD sounds great!

HuaShan - maybe DS has reinvented himself at uni as a Welsh lothario?

thankfully no outward sign of a personality change that I can detect!