Oxford and Cambridge current students - discussion thread for anyone with daughters, sons etc there for Michaelmas 2020 (and not just freshers!)

[DadDadDad]

A continuation thread for those attending Oxbridge for the first time this term, but it makes sense to throw it open to anyone with a DC there (or other family member, or maybe you're a student yourself or teach / work there - all welcome!) Share your thoughts and questions on college life, courses, etc. A certain virus has made it a bit different for everyone this year...

I have a DS who is a fresher at a small Oxford college in a small subject. We will be taking him there in just over a week.

Very sorry to hear your DS is finding things (understandably) tough, coleoptera. I’m sure he will find his tribe sooner or later. Covid makes everything so much harder. I remember getting irked by noisy neighbours too.

That’s very very annoying for your DD nearly. Fingers crossed!

DD dropped back in C today successfully for her third year. So lovely to see her back with her mates and looking so happy and excited. The first term of freshers was really quite tearful and difficult and there was a week or two when I was seriously worried she wouldn’t stick it out. So for those with DC starting this year, it might be bumpy for a week or two, or month or two, but try not to worry, I think it takes the whole of this term to really even start to settle in.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job Coleoptera. And I know what you mean about your happiness being in direct correlation to how happy you perceive them to be. I know when DD first went I’d be so upset if she sounded homesick and sad. And I’d stew on it all day and wake up in the night panicking! And then the next day I’d get a text to say she’d had a great night and been out clubbing, and made new amazing friends and etc etc etc. I’ve learnt now that a text or phone call are just a moment in time, a snapshot, and not necessarily really indicative of how it’s really going. Mobiles are great at keeping them in touch, in a way that we didn’t have with our parents, but that does mean you can live all the ups and downs in scary detail, rather than getting a general, less worrying summary every week or so.

@Coleoptera - same mixed feelings here. Excited for DS1 who is off to Oxford tomorrow but missing and grieving a bit for DS2 who left for KCL weeks ago. The upside is - he is loving it. Far more than I expected.

I’ve learnt now that a text or phone call are just a moment in time, a snapshot, and not necessarily really indicative of how it’s really going.

That's astute @Biscuitburglar. And good advice. I'll try to remember it!

SeasonFinale next time I shall certainly stand you a coffee! It was a jam packed forty hours - loved exploring Cambridge with DS3 and DD4 and walking to Granchester etc. Now in Oxford and just finished supper with DD1, DD3, DS4 (who moved his stuff in this afternoon) and DD4 (who moves in tomorrow afternoon). After that I have my nest completely empty for the first time in thirty years (except for Conker and Johnny the 🐕).

Coleoptera glad to hear DT1 is happier. It often takes a day or two.

Yay negative result at 3 am this morning so dd can go back in her booked slot . Luckily she packed last night .
Hope all your freshers are settling in a bit better now , it's tough the first few weeks and weird times at the moment don't help.

DS1 forgot his toothbrush - duh! But he remembered his cricket key and rugby kit!

Greetings to everyone dropping off today. We’re leaving DS at college this afternoon, having spent several days in Oxford getting thoroughly wet. I haven’t seen so much rain for ages! Good luck to all the DC, and to all the parents. Let’s smile and be brave!

Hello, thank you for the most useful thread. DD1 went back to C yesterday to a room full of clothes moths flying about. Any advice and products which would stop her clothes being eaten away? Thank you

Loving the updates and wise advice.
tandem1 you can get sticky sheets that attract the moths... eg www.amazon.co.uk/CLOTHES-CATCHER-REFILL-AF-DIAMOND/dp/B01CU552BO/ref=pd_aw_fbt_img_3/260-1095436-5902835?psc=1&pf_rd_p=69730152-080e-4525-8462-038267964085&_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_wg=OFQH1&pf_rd_r=ZYBQM6XNSS875A0X12BP&pd_rd_i=B01CU552BO&pd_rd_w=cqWju&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&refRID=ZYBQM6XNSS875A0X12BP&pd_rd_r=b76b5b2b-607f-49fc-8527-a3c937d8f427

Sorry for messy link!

Setting off for Oxford in about an hour. DD is booked in for dinner with her bubble - there are 9 of them in total. 3 Art and the others languages, history, bio chem and medics. Her BoyF also starts at Oxford today & her cousin is at Oxford Brookes already. I also have colleagues on standby to provide emergency assistance if needed.

Just me and her - apparently there will be people to help when we get there. If only to hold an umbrella!

Hello all; we dropped dd off on Thursday at her Cambridge college and the Porter was very relaxed about dh and I helping her in with all her gear, unpacking and so on. Her room is quite decent in size and the building itself is very quirky with oddly shaped small corridors, corners, sloping ceilings and uneven floorboards...charming but definitely not modern!
It's warm too (I was worried about her getting cold, typical over anxious mother). Kitchen and bathroom facilities equally quirky but ok.
Her first two days were fairly quiet but yesterday there was more going on and her bubble of 5 freshers plus 1 other from a different building had a small party in the kitchen - pretty low key though. She gets on v well with the two girls on her bit of the corridor as well which is great.

Tonight there is a drink up for freshers doing her subject apparently (MML).

I don't feel as if I miss her yet, but I have been texting her a ridiculous amount - to the point where she asked me to cease and desist .

Good luck all, thanks Biscuitburglar for your posts which I found really , really helpful

[quote PantTwizzler]Loving the updates and wise advice.
tandem1 you can get sticky sheets that attract the moths... eg www.amazon.co.uk/CLOTHES-CATCHER-REFILL-AF-DIAMOND/dp/B01CU552BO/ref=pd_aw_fbt_img_3/260-1095436-5902835?psc=1&pf_rd_p=69730152-080e-4525-8462-038267964085&_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_wg=OFQH1&pf_rd_r=ZYBQM6XNSS875A0X12BP&pd_rd_i=B01CU552BO&pd_rd_w=cqWju&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&refRID=ZYBQM6XNSS875A0X12BP&pd_rd_r=b76b5b2b-607f-49fc-8527-a3c937d8f427[/quote]
Thank you!

I dropped my DS back in C yesterday, but in a last minute change of plans he gave his college room a swerve and moved in with his girlfriend (for now).

It’s his 4th year and so he didn’t want to get stuck in a situation of self isolating in his room with freshers on the corridor etc (No disrespect but he’s 22 ).

Sounds like a wise move @HelloMissus. it would be like having a bunch of over-excited toddlers under foot!

I'm enjoying hearing how everyone is settling (kids and parents). I don't have much to add because I've hardly spoken to DS in the week he's been there (O fresher, went up a week early for COVID-compliant rugby training). DH has managed to ascertain that all is well and that DS has found his tribe (unsurprisingly: intensive training and team building will do that for you). They're spread out over years, subjects and colleges of course and I expect he'll focus closer to home once other freshers arrive in college, bubbles form etc.).

I feel quite fatalistic about CV19. Every day I'm hearing news of children's friends and friends' children testing positive at other unis so I fear it's not a question of if, but when. I agree with others that I hope there will be enough happening within the colleges so students end up being effectively cut off from the wider, more vulnerable, community.

But overall I'm v happy. It feels like an achievement that we've got here, term is actually going to start in person and the excitement begins for them.

snap exactly that.
And whilst he’d normally be very laid back about the extra noise and general excitement, the thought of being locked up with them doesn’t appeal.

And I agree, that it’s a matter of when not if on self isolating in their family/bubble/kitchen.
In DS mind this will happen generally before Xmas en masse and then calm down. So if he can avoid college until NY, he might be ok - if girlfriend will have him that long

We moved DS into Cambridge on Wednesday - we were very fortunate to miss the rain, which started just as we drove away. Seems happy so far but we haven't heard very much from him apart from positive noises about the people in his staircase 'household'. I'm assuming no news is good news....College were strict about not allowing any parents or helpers into the rooms, but we had a parent Zoom meet with the Master on Saturday ( in place of the normal face to face meet and greet on drop-off day) which was very calm and reassuring. I've sent a few emergency Amazon prime parcels for some domestic items he now realises he needs, which makes me feel as if I'm doing something to help.

We moved DS into Cambridge on Friday. Such a wet day but plenty of parking. DS seems fairly relaxed and happy with everything so far. Events have been low key (quizzes, college tour, freshers service in chapel etc) All meals are taken in Hall seated in households for which I am very grateful. I hate the idea of anyone eating alone in their room.
DH and I stayed overnight in a central hotel and the city was very quiet. Admittedly, it was rather wet!
Dropped DD back in Oxford today. Possibly even wetter than C? DD is in a shared college house for six. It’s huge, two kitchens and three bathrooms between them on four floors (it’s a tall, skinny terrace) and a proper garden. DD is very excited about the washing machine and tumble dryer - no more Circuit laundry!!
Hope all your freshers are finding their way through the first few days. And it so good for other years to be back with their friends.

Dropped DS off today. He didn't sleep much last night with nerves or excitement - not sure which. Room at the top of eight flights of stairs and when he got in, discovered it had a leaky roof which was dripping onto the corner of the bed and had soaked the carpet. Maintenance said they couldn't do anything until it stopped raining! They helped him move the bed. Bit concerned that it might not get dealt with for days if the weather sets in. But he said years in army cadets made him just not care about things like this, so he didn't want to make a fuss. Took him for a lovely lunch but he was shattered, so dropped him back for a nap on the damp bed before dinner with his bubble (12 people) at 5.30pm.

Hope he's OK. He was uncharacteristically nervy and grumpy. Usually the most laid back member of the family.

Thank goodness DD isn't going to Trinity. The porters would take one look at the amount in our car & send her back home again.

Its getting very busy here, good to hear everyone's tips.

Left DS at O today. He has small but warm room with nice views over sports fields. Reasonable size kitchen, enough storage. Met the master's dog (and the master) and spent a bit of time looking around college. Everyone very friendly so even introvert DS had brief chat with others on staircase and I think he is excited and happy.

I am miserable . Filthy rain, filthy cold (I had to go to bed when we got back), losing my first born (I know! Got to let them go...need to have a word with myself), DS2 and DD both really sad about their sib leaving home so need extra hugs all round.

Hey ho. We will survive. DS will thrive I'm sure. And maybe I'll get better at life changes in time