University experience is awful at the moment

[Cupcakke]

DD moved into university on Saturday. The rules are very stringent, both campus bars are closed, the university library has very little capacity and the restaurant is take away only. There are virtually no freshers events in person.

Her flat mates are very shy and not very social and she is in a small flat.

Large gatherings keep occurring but the penalty for this is very severe so DD very cautious not to attend these.

She is essentially watching Netflix in her room. I fear for the loneliness. The online events she has attended are poorly attended and just very boring.

Teaching starts next week and her In person contact hours are just 4 hours a week.

Anyone else’s dc thinking this years university experience is non existent.

That random horse was hilarious!

Unis are in different places in terms of local lockdowns, so that might be why some places have gone entirely online. We are still intending to attempt blended learning, given we have been redesignated as 'essential' by government, Who knows how long it will last.

I know it's not ideal but I wouldn't want people to worry too much, unless your child is giving off signs that it's really awful. The first years I spoke with today sounded reasonably perky, and when asked what their main goal was for the year (then their concerns), nearly all said to be independent and get away from their parents, in a nice way! Also having a purpose instead of just sitting at home. So, many are enjoying meeting a few people, having some structured learning, not all are sitting in their rooms crying I hope. Most of their worries were around not being able to continue on campus and being stuck in their rooms and muddling through the vast quantity of online information.

I think it will be incredibly difficult to study online for so long. I know from the odd work Zoom and Teams meeting how draining and how difficult it is to concentrate with online work is, let alone if this is how you will spend most of your day as well as having to access all the online resources. My DS has just moved into a house share and the internet is very patchy in his part of the house.

The social side is awful, I know, universities have to be really creative given all the restrictions, and also they genuinely don't want their students getting ill! If they bend the rules to allow lots of mixing and then have a huge outbreak, that's not good either.

But they are being so illogical. DS2's uni won't allow them into each other's flats, even though many of the flats are almost empty (DS has only one flatmate in a flat of 5, another Fresher has no one else in their flat, but still not allowed to invite course mates in for a coffee or for shared pasta. But what are they allowed to do? Go out in force to bloody Wetherspoons where they will mix with a far wider spread of the public than if six of them shared a spag bol and chatted about their subject in the safety of their hall of residence. It's just not being thought through.

My DD has just been told that there is no face to face for her course, not even for seminars. Thats a lot of time in your room learning on your own....

Yep, DS has also been told that today (despite all the promises just a month ago that it would be 50/50, which to me sound like cynical marketing blather to ensure they don't drop out before they've started.)

He's worried he'll just be stuck in his room all day every day with just the pub at night for somewhere they're allowed to meet after working alone in their rooms all day. He's not much of a drinker (yet - though these circumstances could change all that )

@Lurchermom @AgileLass my son is having the same IT troubles! He 'clicked on the link' and got gobbledygook and could only access the last ten minutes of the session. The fact is that he's going from sixth form, where everything was pretty much laid out for him and centralised, to a completely disparate environment where he can't figure out who to call if something goes wrong. And in between was six months of hermithood! I worry for him - there's just no one to ask.

My child has 4 hours of face to face per week from day one
and then online lectures and online tutorials

the University has organised multiple face to face freshers events which look cool

it can be done
but some Unis have handled it better than others

@HenryIV - I'm intrigued which London college your DD is at as DS (also CentralLondon) has said there is nothing online laid on by the uni - no ice breakers, Room Zooms, online concerts or quizzes - nothing at all. All he's found, by chance via several unadvertised clicks is a few online Fresher's Fair details for clubs but some of what he wanted to do isn;t listed and he wonders if they did their presentations earlier as there is no back catalogue. Not well organised.

but some Unis have handled it better than others

Don't forget local conditions will be varying hugely from place to place.

@monkeyonthetable

The social side is awful, I know, universities have to be really creative given all the restrictions, and also they genuinely don't want their students getting ill! If they bend the rules to allow lots of mixing and then have a huge outbreak, that's not good either.

But they are being so illogical. DS2's uni won't allow them into each other's flats, even though many of the flats are almost empty (DS has only one flatmate in a flat of 5, another Fresher has no one else in their flat, but still not allowed to invite course mates in for a coffee or for shared pasta. But what are they allowed to do? Go out in force to bloody Wetherspoons where they will mix with a far wider spread of the public than if six of them shared a spag bol and chatted about their subject in the safety of their hall of residence. It's just not being thought through.

It's not right, and I'm not condoning this, but my DD moved in early when most people were alone in their flats (around 80 people out of 800). She and her flatmate put a call out to say 'we're cooking dinner, anyone on their own feel free to cook and bring your food down and eat with us". 12 people turned up and they sat in the kitchen and corridors and SD and it was totally safe but clearly not legal. I didn't know whether to tell her off or praise her but I'm so happy she did it as otherwise 12 people were eating along that night.

@HenryIV - I'd have been proud of her. Good mental health is every bit as vital as physical health - and will boost immunity.

@ListeningQuietly which Uni is this at? My DDs Uni town has barely been touched by Covid. the tutors said to them they just didn't want to risk infecting their families. It sees like some students are quite lucky getting some blended learning (which is what she thought she would get) and now that's not the case. Learning on Zoom, being in a half filled flat and barley being able to socialise is quite grim for them. If you are a bit anxious as my DD is it doesn't bode well.

As someone who works in a university, this all makes for such worrying reading for me. I have delivered a few live online sessions so far and it's so difficult to foster interaction and engagement. None of them turn their cameras on, so it's impossible to gauge their responses. It's such an isolating way to learn.

Nobody who teaches in a university wants this. I know my colleagues and I would infinitely prefer F2F. I feel very concerned about the students, from an educational and emotional well-being point of view.

onesip
I'd rather not say
but its a campus one which makes their job much easier

I think the depressing thing is that we cant do a single thing to affect any sort of change with it. Either they stick it out, or come home to no travelling or jobs etc.

Fair enough @ListeningQuietly. My DD is at a campus based one in the South of England with barely any cases and Freshers has been quite limp

This makes for such depressing reading. Poor kids

My DS had deferred entry when he applied and was planning on a gap year in America before starting at a London uni in 2021. The gap year has not gone ahead as planned and he is trying in vain to find work and, basically, rotting away in his room

I don't know if they're better at home with nothing going on but at least family members to keep them company, or at uni moving forward with life but feeling very lonely. Poor kids. Hopefully it is just one year out of a lifetime of adventure

@GalesThisMorning that sums it up. Which is the lesser of two evils. A lot of v unhappy kids paying a fortune for something few of us would have picked

[quote monkeyonthetable]@HenryIV - I'd have been proud of her. Good mental health is every bit as vital as physical health - and will boost immunity.[/quote]
Totally agree, and some of them were international and had quarantined for 14 days. Hopefully, unis will turn a blind eye to a little bit of this going forward.

Dd is in a flat with four other girls. One of the girls is from Jersey and has two pre existing friends (also from Jersey) and so (against official rules) is always at their apartment. The second girl is constantly holed up in her room and barely emerges, the third girl is not quite her sort (she's been trying to impose a cleaning rota) and she has spoken a bit with the fourth

She too is lonely and desperately home sick and feels a failure for not making friends

Please tell your children to contact their personal tutors if they need a little more guidance over practical questions etc. Almost all unis have them and it’s what we’re here for.
I am reading this both as a parent and as a uni lecturer. It’s so tough for them this year. We really are doing our best. It’s helpful to hear the sorts of issues they are facing.

This thread has made me have knots in my stomach.
Ds1.is starting this week.
Did a yr of uni a few yrs ago. Dropped out after one year. Lived in. Was lonely and didnt make friends. No one in his accommodation mixed.
He has unfortunatly chosen this year of all years to retry.
He wont be far from home (far enough though),but again, is living in.
Last time he was stuck in a little flat watching telly or computer games. This time will be worse. I cant bear it.
He has a job here. Wish he would have put uni on hold and at least had some life here

He is already on meds for anxiety.

station I am seeing as many students who say they are fine as those who are feeling isolated. I too have a very vulnerable son, and he’s doing much better than I imagined. Your boy may well be fine and lucky with his flat mates. It won’t necessarily be worse. xxx

There have been number of outbreaks in universities. Your daughter' s sschedule sounds sensible for the short term.

Two outbreaks in DS halls so far, students isolated in flat, DS seems very calm about it but I know he is a worrier so I play it down.

@monkeyonthetable I've pm'd you - not done it before but hopefully it will work!