University experience is awful at the moment

[Cupcakke]

DD moved into university on Saturday. The rules are very stringent, both campus bars are closed, the university library has very little capacity and the restaurant is take away only. There are virtually no freshers events in person.

Her flat mates are very shy and not very social and she is in a small flat.

Large gatherings keep occurring but the penalty for this is very severe so DD very cautious not to attend these.

She is essentially watching Netflix in her room. I fear for the loneliness. The online events she has attended are poorly attended and just very boring.

Teaching starts next week and her In person contact hours are just 4 hours a week.

Anyone else’s dc thinking this years university experience is non existent.

[Tickledtrout]

Apologies. For adult read lecturer.

[Poppingnostopping]

Aragog that sounds really hard for your daughter. I agree with everything the previous poster said. One advantage, though, is that she's not in halls with lots of others, some of whom may have the virus- we have an outbreak in our halls, for example, which is really stressful. I have had another fresher on Zoom today who hates her hall mates.

This going to uni thing is hard. Do you wish she hadn't gone this year? I think some are enjoying getting away, but local restrictions are tightening as covid and students unfortunately goes together.

[Aragog]

Yes - the not being inhales will have its advantage if they get outbreaks there. At least she's less likely to be locked in.

She was so looking forward to - and so ready for it. She does seem okay when we've spoken to her. She was out yesterday after we left so hopefully that will continue. They were supposed to be heading into the local city tomorrow but - as young people are like - no firm plans in place, so I have encouraged her to chase that up tomorrow morning.

And tonight she says she's enjoyed a quieter night, FaceTiming her sixth form friends and boyfriend, and catching up on some films she wanted to see. So she seems fine...

But so far the experience from our (parents) view just seems a bit low right now. You'd think the two women, even if a bit older, might have least have come out of their rooms to say hello!

DD did say some of the girls on her course seemed quite shy - so hopefully after some more sessions they'll warm up a bit more and start chatting. Maybe as it was day 1 tit was hard, but I didn't really expect them to be totally separated on individual desks with no chance to chat and get to know one another.

There appears to be nothing arranged for fresher's/induction week in terms of social stuff.

[Aragog]

I don't want to be 'that' parent so wouldn't feel comfortable contacting the department. Its a primary ed course so you'd expect, in normal times, for them to be really hands on and engaging with one another so we shall see I guess.

[DominaShantotto]

It's crap - and the shameful "shouldn't have sent them to university - there's a pandemic don't you know" shite on other threads is fucking appalling when these kids got screwed out of their ending to school, screwed by the A-levels fuck up and now this. They're fully right to be incredibly pissed off at what they've been dealt and if the worst they're doing at the moment is protesting via post-its... the unis are getting off lightly.

[Tickledtrout]

Statement from Gavin Williamson on the return to university tomorrow, apparently.

[DominaShantotto]

@Tickledtrout

Statement from Gavin Williamson on the return to university tomorrow, apparently.

I can't watch him - he just sets my teeth on edge (although I am amused when he tries to hide his northern accent).

He's a bit too bloody late... as usual for him really. Is Boris still hiding in the fridge?

[Tickledtrout]

@DominaShantotto I don't really understand how people who get so concerned about the threat of covid-19 can be so indifferent to the suffering of others for different reasons.
I don't think any of us anticipated the scapegoating and gaslighting of students. When they accepted their places we were all eating out to help out and trying to get back to normal. They did as they were encouraged to do. It really isn't an option for everyone to hide away at home for months on end.
I think the muttering of legal redress has started but that will be little comfort to some right now.

[OverTheRainbowLiesOz]

I don't think any of us anticipated the scapegoating and gaslighting of students

It's been happening to young people for ages - since Brexit. This government has to have someone to blame. Make a big noise over there and maybe people won't look at us over here.

[Tickledtrout]

Yes @OverTheRainbowLiesOz

[Aragog]

Statement from Gavin Williamson on the return to university tomorrow, apparently.

What on earth can he now say to help this and the students stuck in year long rental contracts, sat in their small rooms accessing online lecturers on their own?

Yet again - it will be too little and too late.

[ListeningQuietly]

PLEASE remember that 2/3 of students

• cannot defer
• already signed housing contracts

because they are part way through their courses

[Aragog]

And also - defer and do what exactly this year?
There are few jobs out there right now after all, and they can't go travelling.

[redgin]

I agree that's a horrible experience, but what did you expect?

[Aragog]

What did we expect? We assumed it would be fine to be there and opportunities to be in university and meeting people. Because that's what they said would happen in their own web pages. Up until this week it was to be 60% f2f - next week when they actually start proper lessons it's no where near that!

[Aragog]

I should also iterate that Dd isn't complaining about it at all. She's just getting on with her first week.

It's her parents who are most disappointed on her, and her friends who have headed off this year, and the utterly rubbish experience they're getting after being encouraged by universities and the government to go away to university.

If it was going to be like this they should have told these young adults what the reality would be mine. Least then they could make informed choices.

[MrsMcMuffins]

I need to check when Gavin Williamson is making his statement so I am nowhere near the TV at the time.

[AgentCooper]

[quote Tickledtrout]@DominaShantotto I don't really understand how people who get so concerned about the threat of covid-19 can be so indifferent to the suffering of others for different reasons.
I don't think any of us anticipated the scapegoating and gaslighting of students. When they accepted their places we were all eating out to help out and trying to get back to normal. They did as they were encouraged to do. It really isn't an option for everyone to hide away at home for months on end.
I think the muttering of legal redress has started but that will be little comfort to some right now.[/quote]
@Tickledtrout scapegoating and gaslighting are bang on. My institution spent the whole summer churning out campus is open, the university is open messages through all channels. What were the students supposed to think?

[BackforGood]

I should also iterate that Dd isn't complaining about it at all. She's just getting on with her first week.

It's her parents who are most disappointed

I think that's a point that needs to be made.
Of course there are students that are finding it tough. There are students that find it tough every year. This number will be higher this year, no doubt, but it isn't unique to this year.
But it is tough for people the world over. We need to remember that, if they had stayed home, they still couldn't be out partying and mixing with their friends. People who say "they would have deferred if they had known" - I ask, to do what ? Typical jobs that gap year students would do do not exist at the moment. You can't travel, You can't even volunteer. You still can't go out and about with your friends.
For every student that has gone from an area with low levels of covid to a university that has had to have more restrictions, there are equally students who have moved from areas with restrictions to areas with fewer restrictions.
Because of the age of my dc, I happen to know a lot of people who have gone to university. They are all loving it.
I know that is anecdotal and not data, but same for all the "we are all having a terrible time" posts.
There are so many different circumstances, we need to remember that.
I feel desperately sad for some of the individual stories, but that isn't the whole story of "all students".
Some dc would rather be in new towns, living with a group of other young people than isolated in their bedrooms at home with just their old fogey parents for company and nothing to do.

[monkeyonthetable]

@BackforGood - What you say is so true from what I've seen too. I have been so anxious about the effects of Covid on DS2 starting uni. But he was just so ready to go. He loves his room, the Halls, the city he's moved to, he's made new friends, been to loads of socially distanced (and some not so socially distanced - ahem) parties, picnics, drinks, quizzes, meet ups, lunches, card games, city walks. He's formed a study group with fellow students in the same halls. The course started today and he enjoyed the first lectures.

There's nothing for them to do with a gap year so I think they made the right decision not to defer. I admire them for just getting on and making the best of it. I still think it's going to be a far tougher year for them than we can anticipate. Once the novelty wears off, the reality of being alone in a small room, having a course delivered online will make them feel housebound and isolated. It's not what they signed up for, not what they were promised even a week ago and I still think that there should have been more transparency about this. But making a new life in a new place with new people instead of stuck at home with parents is definitely preferable for them.

[Tickledtrout]

@monkeyonthetable I agree and I admire them for their positivity and determination to simply be young and to enjoy their independence. Maybe that's why some people find them so irritating. But it's a feature of a young adult brain - to minimize risk and push for independence.

It's simply not true to say that knew/know what they're getting themselves into. None of us know what this winter will bring really; we can only hope for the best and try to prepare for the worst.
Mine too has been enjoying her independence and her course whilst disappointed by some of the restrictions on social contact.

[Doctorwhosit]

DD is in a flat with idiots who have been partying in huge groups. She’s been cautiously social but now her flat is locked down. Her idiot flat mates have refused to isolate in their rooms or wear mask as directed and are now coughing. I was shielded, so bringing her straight home is going to be tricky. The uni has been totally rubbish. I WISH she was in a flat with terrified flat mates.

[SueEllenMishke]

We need to remember that many students are having a very positive experience.
I'm just about to set off to campus to deliver a full day of f2f teaching and I'm excited!
Campus still has a great buzz about it ( although I'm definitely missing the free dominos pizza that usually gets me through the first couple of weeks of term!) the students look and sound happy .....

[HelloMissus]

It’s interesting how the same people who were so invested in the ‘all in it together’ spirit of lock down now have little interest in even acknowledging anyone or anything adversely affected by it.

They’re on board for the drama of Covid especially when they Can cast themselves as heroes and defenders of ‘the vulnerable’ (by literally doing nothing).
Covid bad, lockdown good. Very easy to grasp.

But ask this group to even consider the very complex strands actually at play in this narrative and they’re not interested.
People losing their jobs and homes, people desperate to see their families, people suffering MH crises, students being told one thing, then another...
Not interested cos...
Covid bad, lockdown good.

[GaribaldiGirl]

@Doctorwhosit - your poor DD.
it was the same at Edinburgh. Some hardly leaving their rooms and following rules rigidly and some desperately trying to defy the restrictions and have fun.
I suppose students reflect the adult population. Divided into those follow the rules rigidly and want an even tougher lockdown to stay safe and those who think it’s all too restricting and want to take the risk and get on with life. Tough on both groups.

Who’d want Matt Hancock’s job?!