University experience is awful at the moment

[Cupcakke]

DD moved into university on Saturday. The rules are very stringent, both campus bars are closed, the university library has very little capacity and the restaurant is take away only. There are virtually no freshers events in person.

Her flat mates are very shy and not very social and she is in a small flat.

Large gatherings keep occurring but the penalty for this is very severe so DD very cautious not to attend these.

She is essentially watching Netflix in her room. I fear for the loneliness. The online events she has attended are poorly attended and just very boring.

Teaching starts next week and her In person contact hours are just 4 hours a week.

Anyone else’s dc thinking this years university experience is non existent.

Deafening silence from ministers on universities. So many salient points made by posters that won't have been considered.
Only hope is if the universities will set up their own test and track systems.

If only they had thought of that sooner.

warwick.ac.uk/coronavirus/testandtrace/

[quote OhTheRoses]@catpoooffender 100% otherwise it wouldn't be countenanced. I know my family thank you.[/quote]
I'm not talking about your family....I'm talking about the hundreds of thousands of other families 🙄

@fuffit

The amount of work students are expected to do varies a lot from university to university and from course to course. A lot of students have a lot of spare time, which will be hard to fill if they're not able to work or to socialise.

In which case, they have plenty of time to maintain their virtual friendships with their own friends in the same boat as them elsewhere.

Only hope is if the universities will set up their own test and track systems Quite a few of the universities do- some have test and track, some have private testing which turns around results fast (UCL, Exeter).

Schools have nothing, and the school pupils aren't even on the priority list.

My feeling is things are much worse in schools, smaller classrooms, packed in, not allowed to each online.

I meant school pupils aren't even on the priority list for testing through NHS system.

fuffit crikey Dgd doesn't officially start till next week and she's already chocker with prep for that week ahead. Surely they must have research to do for other subjects? Or maybe Dgd has a tough course😁

My DD has had work to do before starting too. But your DGD's university and my DD's are at the tough end of the scale.
Maybe Covid will encourage univesities and students to think more about the work side of things, and raise expectations. Who knows.

Yes - schools have been abandoned, really. All of us parents with a teenager at home run the Covid lottery when they come home every evening.

My DD has had work to do before starting too. But your DGD's university and my DD's are at the tough end of the scale.
Maybe Covid will encourage univesities and students to think more about the work side of things, and raise expectations. Who knows.

That was always objective for my Dgd. And agree with you

@Sostenueto - great your daughter is doing well. But at lots of universities It’s much harder for students to make friends when all social activity and learning is online and, for those in catered halls, the usual way of mingling (eating in restaurant) has become an isolating experience of sitting alone at a socially distanced table. Even harder in Scotland where you’re not supposed to go to the pub!

My daughter’s going to do her course from home for the foreseeable future. At least she can eat with her siblings rather than alone. And it’s saving lots of ££s!

Good idea Garibaldi what suits each student is best to do. Dgd wanted to go into the world because she lives in a very deprived part of country where there is absolutely nothing for her and as she went to school 37 miles away from her home town all her friends live in another county and now all are at uni. Also her mum ( single parent) works 12 he shifts as a carer and she has no siblings and would be totally alone most of the time. Though she is very shy and quiet she's never had difficulty making friends and has struck lucky with like minded flatmates which has made it far easier for her as she isn't a natural party goer but rather geeky. They are all presently out on a jaunt to a couple of museums then off to The Strand student Union for a meal and drink. All socially distanced from other flat bubbles of course as her flatmates are also very cautious about keeping themselves safe. Although everything for fresher's almost all on line she has joined two societies ( one an escape room society no idea how that's going to work😁) and has gradually become much more confident in her first week.

@fuffit

My DD has had work to do before starting too. But your DGD's university and my DD's are at the tough end of the scale. Maybe Covid will encourage univesities and students to think more about the work side of things, and raise expectations. Who knows.

We had nothing really to do prior to starting the course - once we did it came thick and fast but mine is a very timetable heavy course anyway.

I'm bored - got through all the summer reading a while ago and I've done the week 1 lectures and associated tasks that have been uploaded already and we don't start lectures for another week! I use work as a distraction though.

We took ds to uni last week. He's in a flat with 5 other lads but, having been assured he would be on the main campus, he's in a student village a couple of miles away with no facilities at all.The other lads in his flat are all very pleasant, but no-one he's really gelled with - although he's very sociable - and is a bit fed up with all the parties going on in the village, with people running around until 4am. He is mindful of COVID, but also doesn't manage well on little sleep so goes to bed earlier, but there is then no-one around to talk to when he gets up. The freshers' events are online, so he's been sitting in his room watching Netflix and feeling bored - he's ventured into the town a few times, but always on his own, so it's not the experience he was expecting. Now, there will be a local lockdown (he's in south Wales), so he can't even come home and we can't go and visit. It's crap!

It may be crap but it is life as it is at present. What I don't understand is those that are saying their student is sat in their room on their own, bored, have they not considered there is a kid in the room next door in the same situation? Why aren't they knocking and getting together even if for a card game, monopoly or similar. As Sotenueto said above her usually shy DGD has taken the initiative to meet and socialise with her halls residents. Even for normal freshers there aren't instant friendships as soon as they arrive. This year they have the advantage that the socialising will involve talking to each other and getting to know people rather than drinking, partying and getting to know which are the lightweights.

DS2 has gone to UEA. Pretty bleak at the moment for him. All freshers things online to date, although he went to a football thing and seems to have got into a team I think. He’s quiet, so relies on lessons to meet people, so everything on zoom for the foreseeable future is worrying. Now there is talk of Covid at his uni, so I am worried about him being stuck there if they get locked down. Given the lack of promised face to face teaching - blended learning they said- I would be just about OK with losing the halls fees and letting him travel down for sessions as required (2.5 hours each way)rather than being stuck there indefinitely and over Xmas if Matt Hancock gets his way, not sure how soon to discuss rescuing him but don’t want to leave it too long as tears every time we speak at the moment. Really wanted this to be a positive experience for him! Am I over reacting?

FurryGiraffe
I lecturer in HE and delivered on zoom this week. I can see my students and if I put them in groups on the zoom they can talk to and see each other, so it is possible but it probably depends on your subject if you want yo use that function?

My dd at uni of Surrey. Been there a week with no pubs open or events to go to. Her flat mates are all international students who she has nothing in common with. She rang me yesterday in tears. So lonely. Don’t know wether to let her come home and study online here. Will that make it harder to go back? Can she ditch halls at this stage and get some money back? It’s so awful

@Quarks69

My dd at uni of Surrey. Been there a week with no pubs open or events to go to. Her flat mates are all international students who she has nothing in common with. She rang me yesterday in tears. So lonely. Don’t know wether to let her come home and study online here. Will that make it harder to go back? Can she ditch halls at this stage and get some money back? It’s so awful

Is she a fresher? Could she ask for a move? I'm pretty sure they will have plenty available. I was at the campus today and it was eerily quite, not the normal buzz it usually has. There are a few societies running, could she join some?

No matter how well some people and their progeny are thriving, others are not. This isn't aibu and posters aren't asking for their experiences to be validated or otherwise. I think it's normal for freshers to ride a bit of a roller coaster but many of the usual coping strategies and alternatives have been taken from them. And the fact that that some are turning up to university to be isolated and confined to their rooms is unprecedented.
If the situation feels unfair then that's probably because it is. The laws that enable these measures were passed with little scrutiny; it's probably not surprising that it feels uncomfortable and unfair for those at the receiving end.
www.theguardian.com/world/2020/sep/20/parliament-surrendered-role-over-covid-emergency-laws-says-lady-hale

I agree with posters, here and on the covid threads, who have said that this group of adults are being treated differently to other groups of adults who are behaving in ways just as likely to spread covid. There is footage of middle aged pub goers filling Oxford Circus at 10.00 pm to continue to party. I'm not aware of their associates being kept in their bedrooms to prevent the spread.
We need to remember that suicide is the biggest killer of under 35s and compassion is not solely the preserve of those at risk of covid

Hey dingit do you work at the uni? Dd has tried emailing the wardens about a room swap but no reply. Who would be the best person to ask? Thanks

@Thebrowndogs, are there any opportunities for your DS to meet up with anyone else on his course to do the online lectures etc as a small group? Has he contacted his course reps at all to explore possible options? My DS2 is at UEA (2nd yr) and there is a UEA thread to which any UEA parent would be welcome.

I am meeting my first year tutees in a group of four online next week. I was planning to leave the call at the end but tell them to stay online and exchange contact details. We have a really nice historical walking trail in our city that somewhat fits with our subject, so was going to give them a map and suggest they did this, as it’s outdoors. When I casually mentioned this in a staff meeting I was told I could not suggest any form of meeting up, as we’d be liable if anything happened. It sounds like the lawyers have been all over everything like a rash. Completely ridiculous. It probably explains why many Students Unions have been so useless though.

@Quarks69

Hey dingit do you work at the uni? Dd has tried emailing the wardens about a room swap but no reply. Who would be the best person to ask? Thanks

No I don't. My dd is 3rd year. I think she would need to email accommodation services or go in person if she's allowed. Has she been assigned a student mentor. They would help. My daughter swapped her accommodation in year two. They can usually find something!

GCA I think your idea is lovely. I wonder if your colleagues have any proof of what they think the rules are. It sounds like there is too much hearsay that gets spread around as truth. Your students are adults so they are responsible for their own social distancing, not you. As a parent seeing her dd struggle I would love it if her lecturers did what they could to help the students to socialise.x

@SeasonFinale - students cannot force others in their accommodation to join in a conversation if they want to shut themselves away. If the students in your own flat want to keep to themselves, that's up to them - in ds' case, he's tried but the others aren't interested. Given the restrictions that are supposed to now be in place - of which he's mindful - he can't go and knock on doors of other student flats either. The lack of freshers' events to go and meet people with similar interests is proving very hard for a lot of them.