University 2020 :9: And they're off, making hay while the sun shines.

[MillicentMartha]

New thread, trying to be upbeat!

Old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3996883-University-2020-8-Use-the-CAGs-don-t-use-the-CAGs?pg=40

Really tired here, too. Moved DS in this morning. 6 were there including him from his flat of 8 and they all seemed really friendly. DS is quite young for his age and a bit geeky so I hope he gets on ok.

We dropped my son off at Edinburgh last Sunday, he’s had a really rough week, homesickness has kicked in massively, he feels he hasn’t clicked with anyone, there are 5 other people in his flat, none of who he feels he has anything in common with, 3 of them are foreign students in their third year who are going home at Christmas so he doesn’t know if other students will move in or if the rooms will stay empty and they’re not interested in getting together in the kitchen or going out together. He has tried to go out to meet people but with the restrictions it’s so hard, a lot of pubs are turning students away even if they’re in groups of less than 6. He’s desperate to meet some boys from his course but he just can’t get in contact with anyone, he’s met a couple of girls but he doesn’t feel it’s the same.
We’ve had lots of tearful FaceTime and phone calls this week, he’s now at the point where he’s said he will put up with it until Christmas and if he still feels the same he’s quitting which is horrible to hear because he was so thrilled to have got the offer from Edinburgh then smashed the grades he needed. Student support won’t see him in person, they’ve only given him website links to read.
It’s such a hard time, especially when he sees his old friends at their unis having a great time on social media, socialising with their flat mates and he’s sat in his room thinking he’s made the biggest mistake ever.
It’s so heartbreaking as a parent not being able to make this better for him. 💔💔

Oh, @WhatsGoingOn3 that is so sad. Can he ask to move to another flat? The university must know that the flat share bubbles are more important than ever before. Really hope he meets since great people on his course. What is his subject?

@Shangrilalala im worried thats going to happen with youngest daughter. They both share a bedroom, so its going to be hard for her being on her own. For the eldest daughters, shes just come off her final sunday night call on zoom to her physics buddies. They plan to still zoom and do study sessions together and weather permitting meet for socially distanced walks and that, perhaps hopefully meet in the library.
@WhatsGoingOn3 hopefully he can move flats if he asks now. The earlier he mentions it the quicker they can sort it. And hope he can join some societies and make friends that way x

What’s going - he can request to change flat. With some choosing to stay home and study it might be easier than he thinks.

His course won’t have got going yet so still time to meet coursemates. I feel for him.

WhatsGoingOn3 - I feel for your son and it sounds more like my daughter’s experience. I am going to talk to the accomodation people about what chance there is to move rooms/hall.
My daughter says there are groups of party-loving students breaking the rules in her hall and having gatherings and also setting off the fire alarms in the night but for the ‘quieter’ compliant ones who are obeying the rules life is lonely/tough.
The advice she was given (online only) by the resident advisors was to join the blocks Facebook groups but she’d already done that and it hasn’t yielded much.
Her Wi-Fi is rubbish too.

I think once the courses start properly it may be better because they’ll connect online with their peers and maybe can arrange to meet. My daughter has managed to meet several people through the course.

WhatsGoingOn3 - I talked to someone in the Residents Life team and they were really helpful and supportive. Perhaps you should give them a call too? You can get them moved but they suggest ‘giving it a go’ first if you think things might improve.

Lancaster parents. This information is probably too late to be useful but the jobs in County townhouses are not induction. I am delighted!!

@choirmumoftwo

Lancaster parents. This information is probably too late to be useful but the jobs in County townhouses are not induction. I am delighted!!

Hi Choirmumoftwo, what jobs are they?

Assume hobs, not jobs!

@choirmumoftwo @specialted @sammyjoanne @BCBG

All moved safely in to sunny Lancaster Uni today!
It was really quiet and very relaxed. DS had to collect key on his own from porters lodge wearing a mask. Plenty of helpers to direct you to accommodation.

Both DP and I took him as we needed DP's car but he can't lift much as awaiting back surgery. When we got to the flat there was only one other family moving their son in, both parents were helping so we did too making sure to keep our distance, wearing our masks in communal areas and kept sanitising hands when touching doors.

The 2 hour window was not marshalled so it was very relaxed and stress free. We stayed for 2 hours 40mins as it was a bit of a trek from parking to the flat so it took a bit longer than we thought. I think Pendle might have tried to ensure that flats only have 2 or 3 students moving in at any one time slot.

Lancaster local lockdown is enforced tomorrow so stricter rules may then be enforced, DS is also on the south west campus and not on the main campus which is why it may have been a lot quieter too.

I'm an idiot and did of course mean hobs!!!

@SunburstsOrMarbleHalls hi and thanks - this is so helpful! Hope you don't mind a couple of quick questions - DD is moving into Lonsdale on Wednesday abs she seems convinced that the two hour window means 'arrive between' not 'this is your time slot for unpacking'? She could be wrong because - ADHD/ASD so just thought I'd check with you! Also do you know what the local lockdown will mean? We are arriving tomorrow as a long distance from us and staying until Friday morning locally. Wondering if we should bother which would be a shame as I was really looking forward to exploring a part of the country I don't really know..

DS moved into Bristol halls yesterday. He was nervous and grumpy but things seem ok so far.

@SunburstsOrMarbleHalls thanks for the Info, glad it all went ok

@choirmumoftwo lol. I thought you meant induction for a job. That would be pretty cool though, internships already in freshers year :D . And induction hobs are so much better and easier to wipe than the old style. Let us know how you get on moving day at county 23rd/24th. Hopefully those townhouse stairs are not too troublesome for us lol

@SunburstsOrMarbleHalls thats a brilliant break down of what happened thank you :) glad it not marshalled the 2 hour time slot. We plan (hopefully) to park on Grizedale Avenue, which the closest public car parking space, its either there or Zone H, which is a trek but next closest to Grizedale. Keep us informed how he gets on this week as we have to wait until Saturday :)

@BCBG I believe from what it says on goverment and county councils website the hospitality section should be open, so hotels should be fine, and you should be able to book at pubs/restaurants a table for a meal (but cannot stay after 10pm) We went to williamson park last month (parked at williamson park car park) so that should be ok as well as its outdoors (and amazing views at the top), and also Morecambe see front on the promenade.

*sea not see lol

@BCBG we are in the north east but are under the same restrictions as Lancaster will be. Rule of 6 still applied but you cannot meet/socialise with anyone outside of your household indoors or outdoors and hospitality venues must close by 10pm. Technically, our DC will form new households as soon as they move in so we probably shouldn't see them, and certainly not have physical contact with them, until restrictors are lifted.
I note the announcement earlier that caring for vulnerable adults is an exemption - don't know if this applies to your DD?

@BCBG

Re 2 hour time slot - I understood it as this is your time slot for unpacking, DS time slot was 10 - 12 we arrived on campus at 9.50am and it took him 10 mins to get keys.

Re Local Lockdown - From tomorrow 22nd September the Lancashire local lockdown rules mean nobody "from another household" is allowed inside another persons home or garden (except if they form part of a support bubble).
The concern is that it will mean that colleges do not want parents in the flats at all, not even to unpack as technically students flatmates are their new household and one household can only have one support bubble so multiple parents from other households would breech this.

One parent I was talking to online said her DD is moving in tomorrow and received an email today from Lonsdale that said one other adult can help unload but they are not allowed in her room.
I do not know if we simply got lucky moving in today and that perhaps tomorrows lockdown will mean that these new rules are enforced strongly tomorrow.

As for travelling up to explore the area it should be ok as shops and cafes and most attractions will still be open. Restaurants and pubs will be strictly table service and will close at 10pm. All eating and drinking businesses should be operating test and trace so your details will probably be noted.

Even if you cant go into DD's flat you can however still meet up with her during your stay as long as it is outside of her flat. You can go any cafe/pub/restaurant with her (as long as your group does not exceed six people)

@BCBG
EDIT - Sorry I have just read the further clarifications and I don't think you can meet up with your daughter at cafes/pubs/restaurants as she is not in your household!

Further information has been given and rules state you should not socialise with anyone outside of your household at all sorry.

@SunburstsOrMarbleHalls @choirmumoftwo thanks again - def worried now as she will struggle to unpack without us plus will need to see us I suspect before we leave. I think I had better see if she can ask if she is exempt - she has a pretty full DSA so hopefully is

Have to say I'll be a bit gutted if we can't go into their rooms, would like to see it at least. I guess it's really throwing them in at the deep end! Presume we'll have to loiter so he can at least bring out the boxes we need to take back home

@choirmumoftwo @specialted @sammyjoanne @BCBG

DS has met all of his housemates and said they are lovely. He put a tub of Heros on the kitchen table with a post it note on introducing himself and telling them to help themselves, when he went back later all the other housemates had put treats out too.

There is a total of six in his flat all doing different subjects and they are all now chatting. DS has taken a record player and separate speakers that he can link up to his spotify account so hopefully they can have a cheery atmosphere and enjoy their first evening together (he has been very strictly reminded to only play music at a respectful non nuisance level and turn it off completely after 10pm or else!)

BCBG I would definitely ask the college for clear guidance and explain your DD may need support moving in.
My Son has dyspraxia and planning and organisation is a big challenge. If he had to move in without me I have
no doubt he would not unpack his clothes and live out of a suitcase all year!

I think my ds will live out of a suitcase too! I did mention this might happen when we drop him off and he just said 'oh well'. I think it's me it's bothering rather than him.