Need hand holding, DS failed 1st year

[Creativebee]

DS has received an email this morning that he has failed his 1st year by 2 marks and can no longer continue his studies. He has been told that he can appeal for mitigating circumstances (he is ADHD and didn’t have anything in place by the uni apparently due to Covid). If he’s successful in his appeal he would be able to resist the module in June 2021 and then continue to the second year. I’m devastated, he is definitely at fault because he lacks focus and wasn’t taking his medication properly whilst at uni.
He said he’ll get a job whilst waiting until June but how will that work with jobs so hard to come by at the moment.
Someone please tell me it’s going to be ok, I feel so disappointed and feel like I’ve failed somehow.

@Creativebee sorry to hear that. Tbh it's not a bad year to sit out but probably not helpful for you to hear that right now.
Has he had contact with disability services at the University? They can't say that they managed to fail him despite covid yet use covid as an excuse not to meet his needs. Does he have a dsa assessment?

@Gymntonic before he left for university I set up an appointment for dsa but he then forgot to attend. His tutor was aware of his adhd and other mental health issues he was going through (I am in no way making excuses for him). I just can’t believe they’ve failed him over 2 marks. Embarrassed to say I went irate and DS rang his tutor to ask if she could explain what has happened but she refused to speak to me so DS has tried to fill in the gaps but I can’t get my head round it.

I'd talk to disability services if I was you and ask them to help you liaise with the department.
His failure to engage is consistent with his disability. They'll have to consider if their service was disability friendly. I'd suggest there's enough doubt there for them to support him to prepare and resit the exam. If he can access the dsa assessment now that can provide a number of hours support to help him with study skills etc

His tutor has said that he does have a good chance to resit in June but I think it’s that wait until June. I now have another mouth to feed on an already stretched budget and he’s extremely hard work to have at home all day. I was actually looking forward to him going back on Monday so I’d get a break. Feeling deflated 😔

Sounds tough. At least he can job hunt - not easy I know -and get that dsa assessment done even if he has to visit university to do so

He's an adult now. We can only intervene for so long in our children's lives, and once over 18, we are no longer "in the loop" with tutors, healthcare, etc. It's very much up to him.

Sounds like you have done everything you could to help. I hope he can find a suitable job in the meantime.

It is very late for him to be getting results just now. Was it a reassessment? It would be worth finding out if this is regular practice. He should definitely appeal. He should also check the Covid regulations for the uni because they may have made changes to the assessment regs that will support his appeal. If he needs help navigating this then the students union will be able to support him. If study is mainly online this year, then he may find that more challenging to manage if he struggles to focus, so as others have said he might benefit from the year out.

What about starting again somewhere else straightaway? . He’ll have to get his skates on but I’d imagine it might still be possible? A year at home then a retake sounds painful.

I’m not certain of the details but I think he will still be eligible for a student loan even if he restarts a new course elsewhere.

Was his course an academically challenging one? Does he know (and accept) why he failed?

My son failed second year - he didn't tell us until he missed resits. He was very ill mentally for 18 months but is now doing a degree apprenticeship. So all is not lost if all else fails. Student services were helpful in understanding his options so perhaps contact them to see if they can liaise between the department and your son?

@gavisconismyfriend my husband is quite annoyed about that too that it’s so late, he was meant to start on Monday and only got his results today. It was a reassessment but the tutor who was helping him with the reassessment reassured him that he had done enough to pass the module 🤔.
@LUZON I’ve asked him if he wants to go somewhere else but he’s told me that nowhere is taking on anymore students (it’s been a while since I was at uni so I’m not sure how much truth is in that).
His course was definitely challenging and he knew what he was taking on before he started but he is the most unmotivated person I have ever come across and he puts gaming above everything. He’s saying all the right things but I honestly don’t think that he understands that his gaming has got in the way of uni (and he wasn’t at home so I couldn’t really motivate him either).
@Happycamper78 DS mentioned an apprenticeship but what worries me is that he will get comfortable and not do anything, I mean he’s not going to contribute towards the house at the moment so he doesn’t really have any responsibility.

If he has written evidence in emails that the tutor said he’d done enough to pass, then he should make a complaint. The student union can help him formulate it and let him know who to address it to. If the response isn’t helpful, take it to the ombudsman. If he doesn’t have written evidence then that’s trickier, but he could still complain or appeal.

I’m guessing he told you the tutor said that op when he was reassuring you and you never heard it direct?

Second year at uni is a lot lot harder than first year, and third year a big step up again

I know it’s hard but I think you need to think long term, do you think he has rhe will, desire , motivation and ability to go into a second year and do what is required to get through it? Because it’s a huge cost.

If this isn’t the ideal next step for him in reality maybe an apprenticeship, maybe a different course closer to home, or at home, but I’d think about this and if this really is the best next step or if there is something better and more suited.

I’d also ask op, and I mean this gently, but what is the likely hood of him taking w year off then being able to go in and pass the module? Will he keep up with his studies?

I think that is truly shocking

Poor him
They should have had more support in place

Do not worry !!
Sending you best wishes and please do appeal

Typically in order to appeal, he would need to show that either the university didn't follow its own procedures properly, or that there was some exceptional situation that he couldn't have predicted/done anything to prevent. Do either of these things seem to be the case?

My concern from what you've posted is that he may not really be ready for uni right now. If he's been unable to motivate himself to get things done, or to motivate himself to get support with that, he's likely to continue to find it difficult (and costly) until he finds a way through that, unfortunately.

Unfortunately the conversation between DS and tutor took place over zoom call so no evidence to back the fact that he was told all the work he had done was acceptable and would be a pass.
I haven’t really calmed down yet and I think once I’ve stopped crying and feeling like a failure as a parent, I might see things logically. DS is academic but he’s always needed someone pushing him which was fine in school as teachers were very aware of his ADHD and like college they liaised with me so we could work with DS together. University, now that was a completely different story. He moved to university, which was close to home but struggled to juggle life and academia so he moved back home in July and the plan was that he would commute to university. DS said to me that he couldn’t cope with everything and if he could move home because he realised he needed me there to help him manage and organise his time (I understand as an adult he should be able to do this but with his ADHD he finds it incredibly difficult), he wasn’t eating well or taking his medication properly. I was glad that he’d had a go at being independent but as it didn’t work I was happy for him to move home but since he’s been home he’s lost his job (due to Covid) and done nothing but gaming.
I somehow need to get my emotions in order, deal with this logically and decide if he wants to appeal. If he does appeal and the appeal is successful, he will have until June to decide if university is for him or not.

I know it must feel awful but this type of thing isn't unusual - especially when you throw ADHD into the mix. It will hopefully work itself out. Maybe your son (and you?) need a few days to have a think about what's the next step. If he loses a year or so it's really not the end of the world. He will be working until he is 67 or later so a slow start doesn't make much odds really.

The good thing is is that he is academic, hopefully that will help.
There are plenty of options.

Would it be possible to restart first year at his current uni? Might be boring to redo work he’s already covered, but it sounds as though a consolidation would be useful given the struggles last year.
If the uni are willing to let him join Y2 in 2021 (subject to passing his exam), then hopefully they would support him in re-starting with that cohort this year.

I’m in the same boat with Dd who just stopped working in March. She goes back in January to finish off year 1. I’m just happy she can go back....though worried she might do the same.

Repeating the year, but from home might be a good idea op. I’d worry that a year off his knowledge base to pass the module might reduce, giving a worse result. Forgetting stuff is common. And after a year he will be distracted by other things.

I’d focus less on the reassessment, I’m not sure it’s the holy grail or the answer. Maybe starting again from scratch, and ensuring he has a solid base for the second year is the way forward. The first year could just be a learning curve in terms of understanding the requirements on him.

I’d also suspect what the tutor said had a nuance to it that has not been conveyed to you, something like “hopefully you’ve done enough to pass” or “ it feels like you’ve done enough to pass but let’s see the final result” . Suspect you know that anyway.

Alternatively he just said that to you to reassure you and the tutor said no such thing, that’s quite normal too, my friends son did it, kept telling his parents he’d done the work, his tutor had said he had done well etc, and he failed, the tutor had said no such thing, but it was a way to get his parents off his back until the results came in.

Honestly I’d not focus on what the tutor said or didn’t say either, it’s he said she said and unlikely to come to anything.

Embarrassed to say I went irate

Thank goodness his tutor refused to speak to you. She was in no way responsible for your DS's series of errors, and you would have been completely out of order to be angry with her. I can't believe that you thought this was appropriate - not a good model to your son who needs to learn how to manage his condition appropriately.

Your DS's errors, however, which would seem to stem from a combination of his neurological condition, and his youth & immaturity. So he's learnt something, I hope. Can you calmly help him to reflect on that? Rather than blame everyone else?

He should enquire about mitigation. The "because of COVID" excuse is just that - an excuse, but not by the university. Your DS should have taken up support offered at the start of his first year - way before we had to send students home, and lockdown. If the university has a proper record of his disability, then they can apply mitigation. But you - or preferably your DS - needs to look at exactly what happened.

You can read the regulations for his degree on his university's website. These will be published there as a public document. If your DS isn't capable of this, maybe this is where you could help him.

In my experience, a fail is something no department likes to hand to a student. Our systems are geared to give students the benefit of doubt, and to try to reward effort wherever possible.

It might be worth trying to understand how a degree is awarded. Generally the overall mark for a year will be a combination of marks from specific modules.

UK undergrads do a degree comprised of 360 credit points, 120 each year, and it's usually modularised eg 4 x 30 credit point modules, or 2 x 60, or any combination of modules that adds up to 120. Most universities will have a barrier of X number of credit points (usually 100 but it can vary), that a student must pass to progress to the next year of study.

There will be regulations about the minimum number of credit points a student must pass over the whole degree in order to graduate with an Honours degree, and also a minimum for a Pass degree (lower), and other exit points, such as a Certificate of Higher Education. And so on.

So your DS needs to look at what happened to mean that he does not progress to 2nd Year.

Did he plough a whole module? Did he simply not hand in any work for one unit/module of study? A lot of modules in a lot of universities don't rely simply on an end of term "sudden death" exam, but will have an essay, for example, worth 50% of the module mark, and a project, or an exam, or whatever. This is all published to students at the start of their studies each year for each module.

The fact that he's been given a re-sit suggests that he can still rescue his progress.

He needs to find out if he can go into 2nd Year, carrying this failed module, and re-submit the work in June 2021 (I have a couple of students doing this). BUT he needs to know that he will need to be super-organised to manage his 2nd Year studies and complete the failed/missing work at the same time.

This sounds like it will be a struggle. But he needs to sort out exactly why he has failed to progress to 2nd Year, and what he needs to do.

And what support his university offers for his disability. And then he needs to take that up. We can offer support, but students need to be mature enough to take up the help, and learn to manage their lives themselves (medication, exercises, eating properly, sleeping properly). If he doesn't do this, you are totally unreasonable to lambast his tutor or his university.

my husband is quite annoyed about that too that it’s so late, he was meant to start on Monday and only got his results today. It was a reassessment

I was "quite annoyed" that I couldn't take any summer holiday until late August/early September because I have to be available to mark student re-sits which come in in mid-August. Your husband has no cause to be annoyed - unless you'd like the Summer re-sits to be in June, straight after the end of term? Which would be pointless. August re-sits, and university staff marking throughout August, is standard. You & your husband sound very entitled and blaming of others for your son's situation.

It's been an exhausting year, and I spent the first week of my 2 weeks annual leave (all I could take this year because of the pressure of work) sleeping and not good for much else. My family were "quite annoyed" about that.

Of course we don't know what his tutor was like or how much support was offered.

But one thing I can say from many years experience as an academic tutor and that is that we can only offer support if the student actively engages with it, asks for it- and turns up for office hours and appointments! They are not children, we do not have the right to roll up at their halls like a school EWO nor can we contact a parent just because a student doesn't seem to be doing his homework.

The number of times I have contacted students because I've had concerns and they have failed to respond, the number of times I have sat in an empty office waiting for a student who failed to keep their appointment... I really, genuinely want to help my students and will go way beyond my duties if needed, but I can't do it on my own. In my pastoral role, I'm more like a GP than a schoolteacher: the adult patient really has to make that appointment and keep it.

Again, failing over 2 marks seems horrendously tough but we don't know the inside of it. Our university had an incredibly complex system of working in all possible mitigating factors this year, but even then there will have been students who fell just on the other side of it.

It sounds like you're a great parent, OP, but of course there are limits to what you can do. The university system requires its students to act like responsible adults even if they do have SN or MH problems, there isn't really a way around that.
(Tbh this is one reason I am glad my ds did not go to university because I don't think he had that maturity.)

Your son now needs to think seriously about what he wants to do next. You can't do it for him. Either he drops out of university and tries for a job or apprenticeship- and there is no shame in this.

Or he makes a decision to engage fully with his studies, do everything ItalianHat said in terms of finding out exactly what went wrong, exploring any avenue of possible mitigation immediately, and then accepting that if mitigation is not possible he will need to work systematically for the June resit (probably while doing a job or part-time job for the sake of all your sanities).

This would also involve liaising with his tutor and getting properly registered with the support services at his university and engaging with any support he can from them. He has to be able to do that, not you.

@Creativebee My DS is in a similar position although gets his resit results next week.
It's been challenging as a parent to deal with this, but I've had to just hope my DS has done the work correctly to pass. Lots of lessons have been learned by him and us and he has now engaged with student support, however my DS is all signed up for his second year house, so things will be difficult if he fails.
@ItalianHat and @corythatwas your information is very useful, thank you.

he wasn’t eating well or taking his medication properly.

At least those are presumably two things which have been addressed over the time that he has been living at home again and so he should be in a better state to engage fully with what he needs to do now.

@Creativebee, if your DS would like the university to be able to allow you to communicate with them on his behalf, is there not a formal mechanism for him to give them his permission to do this?