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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Need hand holding, DS failed 1st year

34 replies

Creativebee · 11/09/2020 17:43

DS has received an email this morning that he has failed his 1st year by 2 marks and can no longer continue his studies. He has been told that he can appeal for mitigating circumstances (he is ADHD and didn’t have anything in place by the uni apparently due to Covid). If he’s successful in his appeal he would be able to resist the module in June 2021 and then continue to the second year. I’m devastated, he is definitely at fault because he lacks focus and wasn’t taking his medication properly whilst at uni.
He said he’ll get a job whilst waiting until June but how will that work with jobs so hard to come by at the moment.
Someone please tell me it’s going to be ok, I feel so disappointed and feel like I’ve failed somehow.

OP posts:
ItalianHat · 12/09/2020 12:09

But you know, really the better parenting choice at this point with young people who are finding this transition difficult, is to back off.

OP you said that while your DS was at school you organised things for him. He needs to be gently (or maybe quite firmly) shown that he needs to learn how to do these things for himself.

He’s 19 - at what point do you think he can and should take on more responsibility as an adult?

You can support him, but not do things for him. That, frankly, is not helping him in the long run.

You’ve mentioned gaming a couple of times. It’s clear that’s got in the way of his transition to adulthood. But he has choices. You can’t make them for him , but if I were you, I’d be thinking twice about enabling his self-sabotaging habits.

rorosemary · 12/09/2020 12:19

So he can't take care of himself, can't focus, won't take the medication that helps him and prioritises gaming. Reading your posts the only way you can make him do uni if you mother this adult and corner him like a rat in a trap so he has to do the work.

Tbh I don't think uni is for him, he probably won't change that much in one year to do it himself.

HopeClearwater · 12/09/2020 12:26

think that is truly shocking

Are you kidding? University is for self-motivated self-managing students. Or at least it used to be. Having a degree used to mean that you could organise yourself to study a subject in depth for at least three years without having to be pushed through it.

Had this boy taken out a loan to finance three years of gaming? Or are you paying for it?

corythatwas · 12/09/2020 12:29

What ItalianHat said about choices.

I have a dd (slightly older) with a chronic pain condition and MH issues. If she doesn't take her medications or stick meticulously to a regime of looking after herself, she goes completely to pieces. Her HE institution are aware of this (because she told them & made appointments with all relevant staff) but there is only so much they can do: she has to be responsible for taking her meds, for not letting the student life get in the way of looking after herself, for getting enough sleep and exercise, and for thinking ahead about when she might need support. My role since she left home has been to provide a supportive ear when she is stressed, but to let her work out a plan of action and carry it out. It's hard but I am amazed at the way she has grown.

I have had students with ADHD and ASD do extremely well on my modules. But they have always been the students who have been upfront about their problems and worked ahead of them. The kind of student who turns up in my office (or on a Teams call) the first week of the semester to say "these are the kind of problems I anticipate, this is my plan, what do you think?"

Creativebee · 12/09/2020 12:33

@ItalianHat Can you calmly help him to reflect on that? Rather than blame everyone else?
I have in no way blamed anyone else at all, this is down to my son 100% and his lack of motivation.
Also I did not request to speak to his tutor, DS rang her up because I was so upset/irate and he wanted her to explain to me that he can appeal to be reinstated but not until June 2021.

OP posts:
mushroom3 · 12/09/2020 13:14

Hi OP I have messaged you. I think many of the posters don't understand the issues with ADHD

Phphion · 12/09/2020 15:17

He has failed twice. This means he has not demonstrated that he can successfully complete the degree, so there is no point in him continuing and the university has required him to withdraw. It would be wrong for the university to continue to take money and time from someone who they do not believe can succeed. At the university where I work, about 5% of first years fail in this way and are required to withdraw.

Should he wish to appeal against this judgement, he needs to show that a situation that has been (or will be) resolved caused this failure. He must outline what the situation was and the steps that have been (or will be) taken to resolve it.

He must take this seriously and gather all the evidence he can to support his case. He (and you, if you want to help) should go through all the information about the appeals process, what is and isn't accepted as a basis for a mitigating circumstances appeal and the evidence required to support it. Usually, you are required to provide evidence about why you failed and evidence about why you did not present this evidence before you failed.

The last chance June resit will only be granted if the panel have strong evidence to believe that there was a resolvable reason for the failure and that there is a plan in place to ensure that the outcome will be different in June and going forward.

It is possible that they might consider that the lack of support provided due to Covid is the sole reason for the failure, but it is also possible that they wont. Based on what you have said, as someone who sits on appeals panels, there is a considerable amount of hard evidence that suggests that he was unable or unwilling to engage with the support processes that were in place to help him, including his lack of prior engagement with available support, lack of external evidence of his declining condition formally presented through the correct processes at the time and not having applied for mitigating circumstances on lack of support or any other grounds before he did his assessments, all of which have contributed to his failing. Consequently, it would not be unreasonable for the panel to reject the appeal on the basis that it lacks sufficient evidence in all relevant areas. Most appeals are not successful.

The appeals panels are process driven, they deal in hard evidence, nothing else. It does not matter how much we understand that it is difficult to have ADHD or to be young or to fail by two marks or anything else. There is only one question: Is he equipped (in terms of ability, support, etc.), right now, to study successfully for this degree? If the answer is 'no', we might be very sorry that it is 'no', but it is still 'no'.

He (and you) must not assume again that everything will be ok because his tutor thinks it probably might be. He must take responsibility for doing what he can to make it ok if that is what he wants. You both seem to speak as though he will just be allowed to resit in June and then he will return to his course, but this is far from certain, especially if he just drifts along expecting it to be so.

In terms of next steps, he must think quickly about what he wants to do and, if that is to continue with university, he must think what will enable him to do that and what support he needs. I would suggest that if he wants to still try university, he arranges to speak, as a matter of urgency, to the Senior Tutor, Director of Undergraduate Studies or equivalent in his department. If you want to support him, help him to come up with a list of questions to ask them.

These might include: Is it possible for him to resit all or part of the first year (with or without credit) to help him to establish his support systems and good working practices in a lower pressure situation? What support can the department provide in his appeal? What support can the department provide if he is successful in a June resit and can he work with them to produce a plan (ideally presenting some ideas before the appeal)? Alternatively, if he has already come up with a plan for the kind of support that would help him, would the department be able to do the things he thinks would help? If he decides not to return, can he get any kind of credit, certificate or qualification based on what he has done so far or with some additional work?

Given that he has a history of forgetting things, I would suggest that you make yourself aware of the relevant deadlines for the appeals process, re-enrolling, etc. At the university where I work, you must submit your appeal within 10 days of receiving your results.

cologne4711 · 14/09/2020 18:45

Just to say that there are a lot of universities that still have courses in clearing, so he could start again somewhere else.

But all that has been said already also applies - is he mature enough yet to be at university? Maybe a year working (if he can find a job, and keep on, given the ADHD) would be good, to give him time to think about what he actually wants to do.

Lovely1a2b3c · 18/09/2020 17:41

Aw your poor son. It's not the end of the world though.

He can definitely appeal and mention that the University did not make 'Reasonable adjustments' (under the Equality Act 2010) for his disability (ADHD) and that his condition ultimately prevented him from completing the course successfully.

Then make sure that he gets help with his ADHD this year and works hard towards his assessments.

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