Oxbridge 2020 (thread 10) - the path to the first term (just one slight hurdle to clear first)

[DadDadDad]

For better or worse, there is a bit of a bond of mutual experience between parents whose DC go through the Oxbridge application process. Thank you for your companionship so far - and thank you to others who started the earlier threads in this series.

This thread should take us to the start of the first term (whatever form that takes). All welcome here, but for many of us hopefully this will be the place for practical support as we help prepare these peculiar* young adults to spread their wings.

But the first item on the agenda appears to be the small matter of judgement...

*or for those who chose Oxford, very peculiar.

@tantamountto

We've just discovered that every Cambridge college has a slightly different gown. DD was just about to buy a second hand Cambridge gown on Ebay, and now faces paying a massive amount for a new one. She's penniless until her loan comes in though. So why different gowns? Just a way to make more money out of students?

Tradition. I don't remember DDs gown as being very expensive but I think her college has one of the plainest styles. I'd have thought there would be graduates from previous years flogging theirs off. But given that the main function of the gown as far as I can see is as a large overall for eating dinners in, I'm not sure whether all second hand gowns would be in great shape.

Oh, and DD didn't get her gown till she was there, from the college. I suppose that may vary with each place.

Coleoptera it's definitely going to be a huge change for you, but you're sounding very positive.

DD has been adopted by a very conventional married couple. She's waiting to make contact with her chemistry sibling, but at least I know that it can't be Sandy's DS.

My DS is a mere Chemistry babe @Hoghgyni - not capable of reproducing just yet I hope.

In other news DS1 has made friends on Facebook with one of the 'characters' on his college's current (still going!) UC team. He's making a subtle and early pitch for the 2021 team 😂

On gowns: back in the day, the JCR would have a collection of second-hand ones that you could buy when you arrived - surely, there's still a healthy level of recycling, or has social distancing made that more difficult?

tantamountto I don’t think there’s any need as such to get hold of a gown early. As the DC would say, I think the college was being a bit “extra”.

I love the Cambridge gowns, though! So much nicer than the teeny little Oxford ones (unless you get to flounce round in a scholar’s gown of course).

DS will get his gown when he's in Oxford. He has taken his suit to the dry cleaners though!

He's quietly beavering away on his to do list. Still working through the bridging work and in the process of registering with a GP. I had to get out his 'red book' yesterday to find his NHS number and went down a rabbit hole of marvelling at is height / weight charts.

Planning to get D1 her gown when we drop her off in Oxford as it's just another thing to pack otherwise. She thinks the mortar board is hilarious (and as for the 'velvet bonnet'...!).

DH 'lost' his gown the night before graduating from Cambridge (drinks had been taken, it ended up the other side of a locked door with no key, details hazy) and had to borrow his housemate's PhD gown. He says he doesn't think anyone noticed.

I found my old undergrad gown in the wardrobe! Those with too much time on their hands will be able to work out my college from the black strip on each arm.

I'm guessing Jesus?

Thanks to @DadDadDad's gown photo I just spent a nostalgic five minutes on the Ryder & Amies website, but I'm none the wiser. The differences between the college gowns are too subtle to come across in the photos (apart from my college which has three whacking great velvet chevrons on the sleeve). I rather liked my gown, not sure where it is now. Shame DS will get a weedy little thing at Oxford, but then again he has the fun of sub-fusc, coloured-coded carnations etc.

@sandybayley, how fun for your DS to have a college still in UC; I guess Monday evenings are taking on a new meaning for him.

@SnapSnapDragon - filming for UC was halted because of COVID. DS's college only filmed their next appearance quite recently. But are sworn to secrecy as to what happened of course!

Hours of fun here with the different twiddles on C gowns:
cuhags.soc.srcf.net/gowns/

DD just ordered her gown from the porters lodge. New and second hand options with the latter costing no more than the mattress toppers I just bought. Wouldn’t describe it as a massive amount..

Also some colleges have hardship fund that seem happy to help if loan payments delayed. Maybe a proud grandparent might be an option ? First loan instalment coming before term starts for DD

In general re setting up one’ s fresher DC; Cambridge massively cheaper than DT2 ‘s choice, caution money for DT1 half the amount of the room deposit for DT2, rent about 50% cheaper for a huger grander set up etc.

The gown is about £50 new.

Same. One off expense ( hopefully!).

There was definitely some unexpected costs when DD started oxford. The gown wasn’t too bad but the accommodation deposit was huge and she doesn’t get it back till she finishes her 3 years at the college. Also she got her loan a week after she started university so was forced to pay for everything using money she’d earned over summer and her student overdraft. I can see why uni can seem unaffordable for some even with the loans.

All change here and now it looks like I wont get the chance to move DS into his room or lovingly fit his mattress topper. He had a phone call today from OURFC inviting him to pre-season training. I am full of questions: where will he stay? Can he move into his college early? What will he do for the 3 days between training ending and the official move-in date (a 750 mile round trip home not being very practical)? If anyone here has experience of DC going up early for sports I’d love to get some info, otherwise I guess I’ll wait for everything to become clearer.

We have a similar situation. DD now tells me she needs to be in Cambridge by the 23rd for choir practices. No idea of the practicalities, but will leave it to her to sort out.

@SnapSnapDragon — DD’s boyfriend did pre-season training for another sport. Feel free to DM me any questions and I’ll ask him.

Thanks @PantTwizzler, I DM'd you! I know I'll find out what's happening in time but we need to make/change plans and we are so far away.

DS had his first online tutorial this evening (part of the STEM Start course). Two members of teaching staff from his college are accessible on the system and have said to contact them if there are any questions - DS thinks these are the Directors of Studies.

DS has been told to learn the Greek alphabet before he arrives. DD (studying Classics) is highly amused.