Oxbridge 2020 (thread 10) - the path to the first term (just one slight hurdle to clear first)

[DadDadDad]

For better or worse, there is a bit of a bond of mutual experience between parents whose DC go through the Oxbridge application process. Thank you for your companionship so far - and thank you to others who started the earlier threads in this series.

This thread should take us to the start of the first term (whatever form that takes). All welcome here, but for many of us hopefully this will be the place for practical support as we help prepare these peculiar* young adults to spread their wings.

But the first item on the agenda appears to be the small matter of judgement...

*or for those who chose Oxford, very peculiar.

I'm sorry about your cat @JulesJules. I know how upsetting it is to lose a pet that is an important part of the family. 20 is an amazing age for a cat.
Fingers crossed for your weekend slot coming through.

DS was just following instructions re gowns. His college told them that ideally they would order them online and have them delivered to home. I guess the outfitters are worried about social distancing and queuing if everyone’s getting their gown at once. At least for his college (old and formal) there was no suggestion that you wouldn’t need one.

PS DS has no “parents” yet and his request to join the college freshers’ FB group hasn’t been accepted either. So we’re also in the dark. I do plan to get him a suit, but no black tie for now.

'Parents' are being sorted at DD's college - she got her child today.

DS now has college parents - and a gown. We were in C last week, and it was a nice thing to do together, on the assumption he'd need it at some point. The shop was almost empty, and we were the only ones upstairs in the gown bit, which was lucky as I felt quite emotional. College info is necessarily provisional, but it looks as if matric and photo may well be happening in person, but in small groups/staircase bubbles.

He does have a plain dark suit to take. Not bothering with black tie at this stage - May balls seem a very long way off, if they happen at all.

Drop-off looks a bit fraught, and I'm disappointed I won't be able to see his room or inside the college. Have shelved all thoughts of mattress toppers etc if he's going to be the one making up his bed - we're going to focus on basic sheet, pillow and duvet cover management!

DD4 bagged her two hour moving in slot yesterday, for Sunday 4th, so pretty much ideal. DD1 who started at Oxford twelve autumn's ago is coming up from London to help her move in - we'll hopefully have moved DS4 into his college in the morning, it all seems more flexible with post grads.

Currently in animated discussions with DS3 whose stuff I'm taking to Cambridge on the Friday as he seems to be labouring under the impression that my car has the capacity of a removal van and that because he's older he needs more space than the other two. Good humoured so far but scope for getting less so as the moving date approaches!

Thank you @SnapSnapDragon. It seems very strange without her this morning.

DD has had her OxFam since the day after results - also polyamorous. 2 x Mums and a Dad. No arrival date yet....

She has hooked up with most of the people on her course already - it helps most of them have their work on Instagram and the interview process at some of the ones she went to had a group crit element. She kept bumping into the same candidates.

We are unusual in our group of friends in that we have children so she has been bombarded with gowns and boards from people who couldn't quite bring themselves to throw theirs out.

She is not advanced in the rest of her packing …. until we know about her accommodation it seems pointless. Having said that she has a worrying number of shoes, frocks and coats.

Re the bike locks don't bother with a D lock - they take about a minute to remove. We have Oxford Monster locks for the race bikes when they have to live outside (at events). The best way to make sure your bike isn't stolen is to have a really tatty looking bike - my commuter bike is distressed to make it less desirable for resale. If it is a nice bike take the wheels, seat and pedals off if it is outside overnight. Hopefully if he is in the cycle club they will have secure bike parks for them.

@JulesJules, so sorry about your cat and it must be very strange without her this morning.

DS ordered a gown online after college confirmed matriculation and formals are going ahead. DS is therefore taking a suit but leaving tux at home (this term's black tie event is cancelled).

DS had a questionnaire to complete re college parents but nothing further. He knows tennis is going ahead and has a date for trials so will bring tennis kit. He will pack football kit too in the hope that college football happens. DS will be fine if his first term revolves around the relatively small bubble of his subject, sport and college. Hopefully horizons can broaden as the year progresses!

Thanks for the advice @Unescorted. To get around Oxford he would definitely use a tattered bike and I've advised him to buy it down there. It's the expensive road bike I'm worried about. Surprisingly it doesn't seem that the university cycling club has storage : on their web page they talk about the problem of storing bikes safely. I really like your idea of removing wheels and saddle. Spray painting the frame in a distressed manner would be quite fun too but he won't go for that I'm sure! In any case, DS seems to be a little less keen on cycling now, ever since he was contacted by his college rugby club and decided to hit the gym. It seems that bulking up for rugby is not very compatible with keeping weight down for cycling. I think the final word on this should come from the COVID rules.

Thanks @Ofteninaspin , she's left a big gap.

Went to Argos in Sainsburys this morning and picked up plates and glasses sets - D1 can take 2 of each and leave the rest at home for spares - paid with Nectar points, so free!

D1 popped into a charity shop looking for smart-ish black shoes for sub fusc ...and came out with a forest green silk evening gown for £7, haha.

Snap I can't see rugby bulk being an asset on a bike either.

DS now has a Raven login and .cam.ac.uk email address.

He is pleased to be able to make a start on the STEM Start course, although he said some of the first set of problems looked very familiar (he has done a LOT of Isaac Physics over the past two years).

He was able to access the college handbook (amended for Covid-19) on Moodle and a list of Fresher's week events (some face-to-face, others online). The college will be holding its matriculation dinner by spreading them out into four sittings on different evenings, so he will get a chance to wear his suit and a gown.

@Ironoaks

DS now has a Raven login and .cam.ac.uk email address.

He is pleased to be able to make a start on the STEM Start course, although he said some of the first set of problems looked very familiar (he has done a LOT of Isaac Physics over the past two years).

He was able to access the college handbook (amended for Covid-19) on Moodle and a list of Fresher's week events (some face-to-face, others online). The college will be holding its matriculation dinner by spreading them out into four sittings on different evenings, so he will get a chance to wear his suit and a gown.

Hi IronOaks. I helped my DD walk through getting the email and Raven. But then how/where do you access that email? Do you need to be in Microsoft mail server? Or is everything through Raven? Sorry, not tech savvy. DD may know, but she's gone out and I suddenly thought, oh wait. What now? Will accommodation info/moving in info start coming to that instead of the other email her college has for her?

@FingernailNibbler
I'm not sure if he has actually checked the inbox yet; emails from the college about starting arrangements are still coming to his home email address.
Does this help?

Parking in Bardwell road itself is max 2 hours IIRC. Various streets around there (Norham, Crick Rd etc) have pay and display for up to 3 hours usually but unlimited length on Sundays. Plan B could be the new Westgate - good underground car park, guaranteed space and very central. Or rent a driveway for about a fiver on Justpark.

Most of the Oxford museums are open again, you just have to book a few days in advance. Punting also available again, and almost all restaurants and cafes and shops open. With no students yet nor foreign tourists it's a perfect time to enjoy Oxford.

Coleoptera have your DTs found the social groups yet for their colleges & subjects? Even if they watch from afar, they may find it interesting to get a feel for some of the characters they'll be living with. Those groups are likely to be less formal than the study sessions.

The Ashmolean currently has a Young Rembrant exhibition if that would take their fancy.

I recently visited Oxford with DD1 who needed to collect some books from her college. We used the Redbridge Park and Ride (realise that is wrong side for you Coleoptera). The "park" bit was free so we only had to pay for the bus into town. I think this was a special offer for August. Oxford was quiet without all the tourists especially around the Bodleian, Sheldonian, central colleges, covered market. The Westgate was quite busy but it was a wet day. Some independent cafes were closed, for example The Turl Street Cafe. It felt rather calm and unhurried without all the visitors.

We used parkopedia to book a private parking space when DH took DS to his interview. It worked very well. C not O but same idea!

Knowing my DD she won't be home much in the holidays. There's always a friend she wants to stay with! In fact she's met up with 2 new Cambridge friends already, spending a holiday with one of them. Just from having met them on subject zoom chats.

We've just discovered that every Cambridge college has a slightly different gown. DD was just about to buy a second hand Cambridge gown on Ebay, and now faces paying a massive amount for a new one. She's penniless until her loan comes in though.
So why different gowns? Just a way to make more money out of students?